Things you'd like to say to your ex

[dictionarydiva]

Hello one and all

I am a bit new here but I'm really enjoying the site. This is my first topic, so be gentle with me

I have searched and can't find a thread like this, so I am starting it. I know we have the red flags, but this is more about all the things bursting to come out of you!

So... my question is, if you ran into your absolute tool of an ex that you don't normally have contact with, unexpectedly, what would you REALLY like to say to them?

Mine would be this:

"You are a short man with very few hairs on his head. It is no longer 1996. You are not in This Life. Get some normal middle aged man glasses and some dignity. Oh, and move back to where you jolly well came from!"

come on, unleash it!

P.S this was inspired by running in to my ridiculous ex boyfriend on the train this morning. In reality, I was very polite.

Hmm, I think I'd probably have to be the one saying sorry.

I'd just want to say that when we met just wasn't the right time for me. He was fab and we were good together, but I just wasn't ready to settle down... at the time, all I wanted was to enjoy myself. Sorry for any upset caused but I genuinely hope he is happy now.

I very often faked.

You were not as good as you thought you were.

I got bored of 10 years of telling/showing you what I liked, and you ignoring it.

It has been a revelation since we split up, to realise that others find me desirable and worth trying for!

"It's a shame you decided to prioritise your work so far ahead of your family. I hope that your many Ofsted Outstandings and the national recognition that you have achieved has been worth losing your wife, your best friend and your children for. Your eldest children are already seeing through you and I am finding it harder and harder to keep you on their pedestal, when all you do is constantly let them down. Never mind, I'm sure you're happy playing the victim and you do, after all, have a small army of acolytes who will take your side and agree with your every word.

Take care, and don't forget that you still have to get a pension unless you want to die in poverty.

PS, if you would take one of the many offers of alternative work that you have received over the years you might find that the pressure is off and that you'll revert to the funny, intelligent, irreverant man that I once knew. If that happens, come see me. If you don't take one of those offers soon you will never leave that place, and there's a long time between now and retirement.
AND DON'T FORGET THAT BLOODY PENSION.

"Telling a mutual friend that we split up because I was frigid is interesting to hear considering that the truth was that I broke up with you because after you took my Mum's cash point card, stole a load of money and then lied about it, I saw you in a whole different light. I was frigid for 2 years and possibly because I didn't fancy you as much as I had. If you really wanted to break up with me because I didn't want sex with you, stealing was a bit of an extreme way to do it. What I can't believe is that I didn't tell people what you had done and said that it was just time to end it. You really have shit for brains."

I am fed up of hearing from your friends how skint u are, u planned the 3 kids with me! Even though you said u didnt love me!
It wasnt me, it was u n ur abusive ways. I may have told you to fuck off, that doesn't mean I deserve to be punched in the mouth..
Yes what you did was rape, twice.
Your kids will hate you forever and they already call you by your first name, no longer "daddy".
No the government DO NOT make up for the lack in maintence due to you moving in with your whore and her kid.
I know u shagged her in our bed.
Her kids ugly.
Shes well old and looks like butch lesbian from a U.S prison reality tv trash show.
And how can u be with her after she ignored her ex rape her own daughter?
sick bastards move away, go as far as u can just DO NOT COME BACK!!!!!!!

FUCK ME!!!

YOU'RE BALD!!!!!!

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

Deep breath

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

enjoy I just had a coughing/laughing fit at that!

Single vainest cocklodger on the planet.

Thank you Facebook

Not only did you have the smallest penis I've ever seen (barely a bulge to be seen even in briefs!), you lied about everything. You even lied about your lies. Luckily I only wasted 2 years of my life on you before I realised I could do so much better (and I did).

You may have been a highly gifted writer with a Fringe First and a play which did well...but you were also socially inept and your eyes were suspicious.

Your penchant for "old and classic" clothing was really embarrasing and when my friends realised we'd got together for the first time, they were shocked and upset because they knew that behind your front you were nothing but a heroin addict with a shady past.

I still look for you sometimes in certain parts of London and I wish you'd email me to let me know you are ok.

Sorry... I just couldn't live with you. You sucked the joy out of my soul.

Im sorry I hurt you. I genuinely hope you sort your life out. And I forgive you.

And what Shockers said

Ex1: I hope you experience a fraction of the pain you caused me, you sick sack of shit. I wish you'd been a stranger in an alley, so maybe I would have reported you to the police. Maybe you'd be in prison for what you did to me.

Ex2: Sometimes I still laugh when I think about your cock. It was really quite meaningless, wasn't it?

Ex3: Stop chewing with your mouth open; stop pissing on the bathroom floor; stop making loud leering noises at women; stop thinking your expensive education makes you better than me. You are creepy and unpleasant company.

To an ex boyfriend I broke with nearly 10 years ago "you were without doubt the most sinfully boring man I have ever met in my life- you were 23 not 63. By the way despite what I told you I DID steal your porno video to watch at home and pleasure myself whilst watching and I DID cheat on you several times with several men (including with my now DH) because you were a patronising boring turd. Also you might wanna cut the apron strings from your mother too she is damaging and emotionally abusive to you and your sisters."
And relax.

I'm HAPPY your not, that is the sweetest revenge...oh and I went out and shagged a french man so that you weren't the first and last man I ever had sex with and you know what I enjoyed it...
You thought the grass was greener on the other side but it wasn't so now your on your own which is just desserts.
And don't be texting me when I am at my M's and your at my house picking up our dd who is 14, you don't need to see me I am the bitch you couldn't wait to get away from so your not getting ANY part of me now....ps get well soon, oops maybe not its a lifelong condition!!!
I am soooooo not bitter.........

Not with a fucking bargepole, mate.

The last thing I said to mine is "What a gutless prick you are". Sums him up. No more to be said.

Everyday without having to speak to him is a day of joy and peace.

Oh wow, aren't you fat...

(thank you LinkedIn)

In ex's case it would have to be:

Go away or I'll call the police.

It is also what I told him I'd do if I ever saw him again without previous notice.

Can I please have your mum back as my mother in law?

And if I feel like it I will eat all the chocolate in the C**burys blinking factory and make myself sick, as all you could do was DRINK DRINK DRINK you moron!!
Think I will have to take myself off to bed cos I like this thread waaaayyy toooo much....

Agreed Twiggy71, I like it too. Am shocked but proud of the posts here!

Wow! This is interesting! I would tell my ex that I adore him; unfortunately, he led a double life for some years and does not give a st about me! Thanks, OP for starting the thread!

It's hard to believe we were married for four years isn't it? I really am sorry that I hurt you so much when I left. But I'm afraid I'd do it again.