Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Things you'd like to say to your ex

186 replies

dictionarydiva · 24/04/2012 11:34

Hello one and all

I am a bit new here but I'm really enjoying the site. This is my first topic, so be gentle with me Grin

I have searched and can't find a thread like this, so I am starting it. I know we have the red flags, but this is more about all the things bursting to come out of you!

So... my question is, if you ran into your absolute tool of an ex that you don't normally have contact with, unexpectedly, what would you REALLY like to say to them?

Mine would be this:

"You are a short man with very few hairs on his head. It is no longer 1996. You are not in This Life. Get some normal middle aged man glasses and some dignity. Oh, and move back to where you jolly well came from!"

Grin come on, unleash it!

P.S this was inspired by running in to my ridiculous ex boyfriend on the train this morning. In reality, I was very polite.

OP posts:
Pan · 25/04/2012 00:19

[snigger]

AnyFucker · 25/04/2012 00:22

I think it is a case of pure chance that he didn't give me one though.

Pan · 25/04/2012 00:25

[more sniggering]

thequeenoftarts · 25/04/2012 00:48

umm have u learned the art of brushing your teeth, showering daily oh and washing ur dick before and after sex...

aurynne · 25/04/2012 00:54

"Hi! Bye!"

lovesineffable · 25/04/2012 01:21

wow
you really have turned your life into a car crash
can you get any lower?
any self respect left to lose?

BumsyClugger · 25/04/2012 01:25

"You disgust me. Just the mere thought of you makes me feel physically sick. It was RAPE, dickhead. Needing to meet a quota of sex 4 times a day, whether I wanted it or not, is NOT normal. Just getting on with it when I was crying and telling you no is non-consensual sex i.e. RAPE! I fear you have ruined sex for me forever.

You are disgustingly ugly, I can't believe I ever looked twice at you. It took me 6 years to build up my confidence after being bullied at school and then you came along and killed it stone dead. You are a nasty, manipulative, controlling cunt of a man. In fact, man is too good for you. After they got rid of you for me, your 'friends' told me they thought you were just predictable and nice. I have to say, well done for making every argument sound like it was just me shouting at you, even when you hit me. Our housemate didn't suspect a thing, in fact, she told ME I needed anger management. She despised you as much as I do once I'd told her the truth. And I know that her hating you much more than me hating you, seeing as you held her on a pedestal. GOOD.

I sincerely hope that the next girl you treat the way you treated me has the balls to either call the police or chop your disgusting cock off. I feel so guilty that I didn't get you put away, just in case some other poor girl is sitting on your floor, having lost everything and everyone for you, wondering what she did wrong to make you angry. Just like I used to.

I used to laugh behind your back when your too-tight foreskin strangled your dick and you were screaming in pain.

I slept with two people behind your back. It was my way of getting back at you and think about it and smirk when you hit me/ forced me to go down on you.

I hope someone has or will soon knock your remaining few teeth down your throat.

I'm glad you lost your home and job and friends. You truly deserved it.

Because you basically starved me for a year by taking my money and not allowing me to touch YOUR food, that YOU bought, I now enjoy any food I have just a little too much. I am now a healthy weight and it makes me laugh to think you'd be calling me a fat pig Grin

But mostly I want to say THANK YOU! If it hadn't been for you taking me away from everyone and making me move in with you I'd have never met him. I'd have never fallen into bed with him looking for affection. I'd never have fallen pregnant with my beautiful daughter (you said I'd be a shit mum because I was mentally unstable-ha. You sir are the mentally unstable one. My wonderfully bright and happy daughter shows me every day that I am doing a good job). And I'd never have met my new DP. You inadvertently led me to everything you said I'd never have. I have a beautiful little family, a lovely home (with food!) and I am HAPPY!

I'd do every last soul destroying minute with you over and over if I knew where it was heading. Again THANK YOU!"

lovesineffable · 25/04/2012 01:27

such a cruel thread..
and absolutely bloody hilarious!
GrinGrinGrin

BumsyClugger · 25/04/2012 01:27

Oh wow, that was long! Sorry!

Blush

It felt so good to let all out though!

carernotasaint · 25/04/2012 01:29

Jeesus Bumsey im sorry you had to go through all that. So glad you are happy now.

LadyBabsWalthamCuddles · 25/04/2012 01:32

It does feel good doesn't it. I almost want to run into my stbxh now. Not that I have any confidence to say it to his face, he did get a lovely letter soon after he left and refused to see his 5wo ds and 12mo dd.

Not quite happy yet, but getting there

BumsyClugger · 25/04/2012 01:33

Thanks carernotasaint. That is what would kill him, me being happy.

So all's well that ends well Grin

lovesineffable · 25/04/2012 01:37

(no disrespect meant to those who have suffered @ the hands of ex's)

BumsyClugger · 25/04/2012 01:57

No offence taken on my end.

I'm glad you're getting there LadyBabs Thanks. I suppose I'm lucky I have no ties to him really.

LadyBabsWalthamCuddles · 25/04/2012 02:12

Thanks Bumsy, yes I guess that's one lucky thing, as far as mine's concerned he has no ties to me either

dictionarydiva · 25/04/2012 10:17

These are brilliant- I am pleased at how cathartic this is!

I think I might add "I have learnt that if it's difficult it ISN'T right. I hope you have too otherwise you're definitely going to die alone."

OP posts:
TodaysAGoodDay · 25/04/2012 10:34

You were crap in bed, absolutely crap. I wish you'd learned to wear deodorant because you stink. I pity the next poor woman to suffer constant accusations from you because you were so insecure. You stupid, irritating, dickhead.

Fantastic thread, thanks Diva!

queenofthepirates · 25/04/2012 21:36

You have the most beautiful, amazing, stunningly intelligent daughter. I feel desperately sad for you that you never plucked up the courage to call me back after I told you I was pregnant. You have already missed so much of her life and I don't think you'll ever be brave enough to contact us to see the rest of it.

She is the most wonderful creature you have created; kind, confident and unafraid, smart as a button and loved by so many people. One day she is going to be something truly special and I'm so blessed to have her.

I'm not going to drag you into our lives or put her through the indignity of having a father who comes and goes so if you want to find us, I'm sure you will be able to. I wish you happiness but I think you missed a trick.

God, she is just so beautiful.

zanz1bar · 25/04/2012 22:41

All those boring hours listening to your life philosophies and warped politics, well I Knew you where oh so wrong and now I have the degree to prove you
Wrong.
So thanks as I may have never believed myself capable of a degree so much late in life if I hadn't realised just how thick you are, not a single original thought in your pickled brain.

Sunnywithachanceofshowers · 25/04/2012 22:44

D

I'm sorry I acted like such an arse. I genuinely didn't mean to hurt you.

munkysea · 25/04/2012 23:05

To all of them - Sorry I messed you around and caused you pain, I wasn't ready for a relationship with you. I bet you've all now found the perfect partners, and I hope you're happy with them.

theoldtrout01876 · 26/04/2012 02:02

curl up and die you stupid fckin ginzo fcker

Yep that about covers it :o

BearBehavingBadly · 27/04/2012 00:53

You are a complete controlling fuckwit.

Your family are dysfunctional.

Your brother is a knob.

Your best mate from school is still a twat!

Yes your hair made you look like a loo brush!

I wish I had shagged your best mate from uni when he asked me.

Thank goodness I managed to escape.

God this thread is carthartic.

Lueji · 27/04/2012 04:01

On things I'd like to tell ex, not what I would tell if I met him:

You are a poor liar and I never believed you, I just didn't bother arguing.
I still don't believe your poor excuses, BTW.

You should have believed me. I'm not a liar and usually do what I say I'll do.

You were the dumb person in our home, and you are still dumb. Even 7 year old DS sees through you and has more interesting conversations.

You are a coward, lazy and a slob.

Yes, you scare me, but I don't cower with fear.

You should have killed yourself when you said you did. (and I wish I had said for you to do it) (just saying it really but I'd really like to say it to his face)

And... fuck off to the land of fuck and then fuck off some more. :)
(but sadly can't on account of DS)

Mother2many · 27/04/2012 04:04

Dear STBXH,

I wish we could of worked things out...and I wish I could get over you.

Swipe left for the next trending thread