HELP My husband has left i dont know what to do, long thread but please read

[loganberry12]

My husband & i have been married for 7 years we have a 16 year old son and a 2 year old daughter together. Our relationship has been up and down from the start really he had a cannabis problem but gave it up a year ago after i threw him out and gave him an ultimatum his family or the drugs. We had a normal sex life up until i fell pregnant unplanned with our little girl who is now 2yrs 7 months old. He did not want me to keep her at first and would not talk to me for the first 3 weeks after i found out i was pregnant. He loves her to pieces now and she is a daddies girl. We have only had sex twice since her birth the last time being 2 years ago. I feel unloved and ugly and have told him this we argue a lot over it and he thinks theres nothing wrong in not being itimate. I feel sad and lonely and yearn for the man i married who could not keep his hands off me. Well to cut a long story short he left the other night almost 2 weeks now after i said things needed to change and i wasnt happy. he has been home twice to see the children but wont dicuss our relationship just said he's sick of me moaning, i really dont know what to do. Everyone i speak to says my marriage is over and to move on im so confused i cant sleep he doesnt seem bothered. sorry for the long thread

Yes it's hard work at first getting everything sorted but the eventual peace & calm makes you realise how exhausting it was being with the ex!

feeling really sad right now lookingat the wall where ive removed iur wedding photod from, i took my wedding ring off last night but had to put it bsck oni felt scared and panicy how on earth did i get here, i miss him i want to ring him andd tellhim i love him but whats the point hes not missing me

It's so hard - but it will ease - promise.

was feeling much better today just had my nails done then saw my daughter who said she see my hubby last night and he looked really sad and down, now dont now if ive done the right thing maybe i should have waited a while before doing anything rash like claiming benefits etc

Its all part of the cheater's script - the hangdog expression, the "depression", the dirty/unwashed look.

Its a plot to get people feeling sorry for him so that he does not look like the baddie. What a drama queen he is!!

Stay strong!

What a fuckwitt (my fave expression today!) please don't waver - you deserve better than him!! So of your DCs!

Logan, so sorry you are going through this. Its so confusing isn't it. I have a thread going at the moment, my H walked out almost a month ago. It's called am I fighting for my marriage or begging.

My advice would be to put out of your mind whether this is temporary or permanent for now. For your DCs sake, you need to act as if it's permanent. Get any joint bank accounts, or credit cards, sorted. Keep going with the benefits. Protect yourself, because you don't know how this is going to go. You can get a free half hour with a solicitor, which will give you a list of things to think about. If you get these things sorted, it will make no diffence to whether he comes back or not. They can easily be changed back. Show him and your kids how strong you are, because you are, you know!

Pm me if you want someone to talk you through practical stuff/want a chat. Xxx

He's picking my little girl up in half hour im dreading seeing him really have to stay strong

Hand over on the doorstep, minimal chat and stiff upper lip.

Keep hold of these tears until the door is firmly closed then crumple in a heep if needed.
Do not fall for his sad and down appearance, it is all an act.
Show him what you are made of.

Don't let him come inside if you don't want him to. Be firm and detached.

thank god for all the support on here its really appreciated

Oh cwtchy you are lovely for offering help when you're having a hard time yourself.

Logan - you can do it!!

well i managed to stay calm i snapped at him when he brought her back though because he let her get out the car and she ran all around the close i was watching from the window he didnt know where she had gone and was looking around for her, for god sake bloody idiot she could have been run over. He said i was over reacting, he also said she'd been a little madam giving him the run around and she hadnt eaten anything,i was secretly glad she'd been naughty for him lol.

still feel a little gutted though he didnt ask to come home or show any sign of wanting too

Why would he ask to come home? He can't be a husband & father. He is putting himself first as usual.

You are being ever so strong.

I know how painful it is but you can get through this.

I'm glad she played him up too.

Well done on ringing all the agencies. It's not what he will be expecting.

And cwtchy thankyou so much for offering your pm when you are going through a horrible time in your life too xx

left with another dilemma not sure what to do, because i have claimed benefit they tax credits claim i used to have has closed and im now waiting for my new benefits to come through which could take up to 3 weeks, this is the only money i had coming in so now just left with £33 a week Child benefit. I asked him yesterday for some money for gas and electric as we are on key meters and at the moment on emergency, he said he hasnt got any until he gets paid on the 7th May, so dont know what to do??? also out of petrol, and nearly nappies?

Could you ask your family to lend you some money to tide you over?

I am assuming you have contacted CSA for maintenance?

i cant really none in my family has any spare money they all live on the bread line. I have contacted CSA yes but that takes a while to go through too he has to reply to their letters within 2 weeks of getting them but could be a while yet till thats sorted

Crisis loan here there is a free phone number on there.

Good luck - he must have some money. - how would he have managed before.

Would his family help

we were always borrowing mostly off his mother he'd get paid on the 7th and by the 14th we'd have nothing left we'd survive on the tax credits which i got into my account and borrowing of people but im not asking his mother dont think she even knows we split up. i'll try the crisis loan though thanks

bloody hell just spent the last 20 mins on the phone for a crisis loan finally got the bit where he was going to fill in the application then got cut off got my little girl screaming in the back ground demanding my attention and the bloody dog suddenly decided to have a barking fit. they said if we got cut off they'd ring back they didnt so i rang again after waiting ages to get back through they said they had no details of me ringing so would have to start again, i said i'd ring them back tomorrow peed off isnt the word

he's also informed me he's away from saturday till Tuesday with work so much for not having any money even if work pay he still needs something i his pocket liar and selfish you'd think he'd care about the kids even if not me