HELP My husband has left i dont know what to do, long thread but please read

[loganberry12]

My husband & i have been married for 7 years we have a 16 year old son and a 2 year old daughter together. Our relationship has been up and down from the start really he had a cannabis problem but gave it up a year ago after i threw him out and gave him an ultimatum his family or the drugs. We had a normal sex life up until i fell pregnant unplanned with our little girl who is now 2yrs 7 months old. He did not want me to keep her at first and would not talk to me for the first 3 weeks after i found out i was pregnant. He loves her to pieces now and she is a daddies girl. We have only had sex twice since her birth the last time being 2 years ago. I feel unloved and ugly and have told him this we argue a lot over it and he thinks theres nothing wrong in not being itimate. I feel sad and lonely and yearn for the man i married who could not keep his hands off me. Well to cut a long story short he left the other night almost 2 weeks now after i said things needed to change and i wasnt happy. he has been home twice to see the children but wont dicuss our relationship just said he's sick of me moaning, i really dont know what to do. Everyone i speak to says my marriage is over and to move on im so confused i cant sleep he doesnt seem bothered. sorry for the long thread

ive sorted all my benefits & c.s.a did it last week, solicitors not on my priority's at the moment no point he doesnt own anything everything's mine, except the clothes he left with, we live in a housing association house which is in my name x

That's great the tenancy is in your name. No joint loans or bank accounts or anything? I don't want him to make life even harder for you. Top tip re CSA - ask them to collect & give you the money then you don't have to deal with it. I'm so sorry about what you're going through. Hope you get some sleep. [hug]

No loans or joint accounts no, i have asked the csa to deal with it , he has already received the letter it will get paid straight into my account, the only thing that keeps him attached to me is our kids nothing else

At least there will be no legal wrangling over property & finances. I know it must seem bleak but things will be better honestly. Women esp mothers are amazingly resilient & you'll all eventually be much happier than you were before. Meanwhile we're here to support you.

thanks Midwife im going to try and get some sleep now i ache like crazy

How are you this morning OP?

have two black eyes and a very swollen face ache all over, but at least i slept all night, still a bit shocked about how my husband has changed so much he was never uncaring when it came to something like this

Glad you slept well, can you take arnica for the bruising? Painkillers for the aching would help too I think.

Take things easy today x

Loganberry - at his uncaring, unfeeling reaction to your (and your dcs) situation! What a bastard.

Am glad you see him for what he is now and glad y ou have everything in your name and benefits sorted.

Hope you feel better soon - you must look (and feel) awful. Def get some arnica.

Things can only get better!

feeling so sad and lost its hard to function at the moment :(

'Hard to function'? Of course it is - you've let your 'd'h go, you're bruised and sore (and not just your face), you've got a lot on your plate at the mo.

Just be good to yourself. Let things slide for a day or so, let yourself grieve for your 'relationship'. Have a long, hot scented bath, glass or two of wine (maybe later!) some chocs, long phonecall to friends/family, Crap TV. Let someone else carry the day-to-day shit for a while.

Hope you feel better soon.

I hope you're ok love. Just take it easy & let us know if we can help support you along the way.

Are you ok?

im feeling much more positive now and beginning
to except the marriage is over the positive thing that has come out of this is it has brought my family very close and my adult children have been brilliant and really stuck by me. My 22 year old daughter has split up with her boyfriend and now lives back home so we are supporting each other. things are getting easier although it still hurts when i see my husband when he comes to collect our little girl. I feel so much better in myself now though ive started having my nails done hair done ive lost a stone got a lovely tan and im going out with the family a lot. Im just keeping busy as much as possible so i dont think about things.

Glad things are going a little better for you. It does take time doesn't it.. My H left at Easter, life is difficult but each day i become more accepting of the situation as i have no other choice....

I cant even look at my H when he picks up and drops off..

That's great Logan. Perhaps you & grown up daughter can now break the cycle of being in abusive relationships & teach the little ones how to have healthy relationships when they grow up esp little DD?

just to say im feeling so happy and positive now i dont want my husband back he's a twunt now looking forward to life again :)

feeling very low and sad again today my ex has been seen with love bites all over his neck im such an idiot to still feel sad about him but i cant seem to let go.

Love bites all over his neck? Classy guy.

Classy!! Well rid! (Chav)

i know its hard to let go. just remember what a prick he is...

really pissed off my ex will not answer any of my text i need to sort out some financial stuff with him he just ignores me. He will only communicate with my adult daughter about seeing our little girl he wont talk to me about it i feel like telling her to ignore him but then my little girl wont get to see her dad so thats not fair on her , he's such a wanker!!

Can't do you the financial stuff via a solicitor or CSA?

no basically he was using a bank account which was in my maiden name, i want to close it but he's overdrawn so want him to give me the money he's in dept by.