The Dating Thread - Part 12. How NOT to lose the will to live. Sense of humour essential!

[TimeForMeAndDD]

Good morning everyone! Had to start a new thread as the old one is no longer receiving posts.

Fill yer boots!

well just as I wrote that got a message. Albeit from an entirely unattractive man

he might be beautiful inside sponge

Have you text Mr Scot??

most of them are entirely unattractive Sponge.
I look @ these profiles and I start to doubt my own perceptions, how can he think thats a flattering photo??
what on earth persuaded him that dropping his keks in his bathroom and taking a picture would be alluring.

Why is this married man looking for 'fun on the side' using a profile pic that shows his face, his tattoo's and the inside of his bedroom

what the fucking fuck are they thinking about??

Time he might be but I don't feel the urge to find out! I am a bit fussy superficial I know but I honestly couldn't bring myself to date anyone I didn't find attractive. I did try it years ago when I first dabbled in dating sites and it was awful, the only good thing was the relief in realising they weren't interested in me either

Am going to leave the Scot til tomorrow once I've spent several hours agonising over what to say

I totally understand Sponge, and you are fed up, not hard up, so no need to settle for anything less than you deserve.

Don't forget to report back when you've text The Scot!!

Ooh I am getting treated like a laydee for the first time in a long time, he is amazing, in every way, but have a weirdo asking for pics of.......wait for it.........my........feet,

Andlibby - I would keep seeing Mr Coffee. There have been a few chaps in my life that have met and not been attracted to initially. Slow growers as they say. I think it all depends on what floats your boat. I have dated a few stunning men that found physically attractive but were as shallow as a puddle. For me to find someone properly attractive it's more than just plain looks. If mr coffee is a nice guy then you don't have much to lose to see if he grows on you

Sponge - I have many ideas of what to text the scot. But they are all filthy Scottish innuendos (being Scottish myself makes it easy!) just send him something light hearted and don't stress too much!

sponge - did you text him?

Attractiveness is a weird thing i think. Theres looks wise and personality wise. and if you get the combo of both, then its pretty amazing ( and rare).
If the personality was there i would go on a second date and see if hes a grower. Unless you know for a fact you will not ever fancy him at all. Then there are the people that looks wise you like alot, but would never date because they are dull, or just awful.
And if you are very very lucky, ocassionally you might hit a looks and personality.. this has maybe happened 3 times in my life - once being saturday. Hence my complete excitment.

Anyway - my neighbour but one caught me as i was getting into my car this morning, she had been at the same pub as me on sat and wanted to know who the ' very attractive chap' i was with was. I told her he was coming round tuesday and she said shes going to hang around her front garden to pervget another look for reseach reasons.

And yeah, im still excited, this will be my 3rd second date since online dating ( not counting fwb type things) im all nervous. what do i do??? advice please :)

I am excited for you watch :) just be yourself. And shave your legs. Just in case!

Its only happened twice in mine. The first time we never worked out after a few months, the second I am still seeing. I do count myself very lucky!

im fucking excited too. A very good looking man thinks its ' fantastic ' that hes seeing me again and is ' very much looking forward to it'
i mean - wtf - since when does that ever happen? to me

Watch, I would play it nice and cool even though you are really excited, don't let him know how much.

yes, i am cool. very.

im not going to tell him!!! :)

and shall absolutley not ambush him in my hallway

im going to be properly grown up and buy wine and will definatley not be wearing anything low cut, nope, not at all.

oh for gods sake, its ridiclous to be so excited. but its a second date, they never happen, they are like the rarest of rare things in internet dating and im not going to blame this on the fact that i was his first internet date at all

oh and after speaking to ywk for an hour or somehting yesterday afternoon, i logged off and then had 5 texts this morning - somehow i didnt see/ hear them yesterday.
all messages like ' where did you go, come back'

clearly there are no boundaries there at all are there. He has a girlfriend, ill be his friend, but come on!

I am excited for you Watch albeit slightly jealous as I have still never made it to a second date

I haven't text the Scot yet of course, I am still trying to decide what to say. Because the way in which my stupid brain works is that I convince myself that unless I hit exactly the right tone with my text, he won't reply and I'll never hear from him again

Me too. God knows how many times u have seen just friends. I think my first date I was a little raw from my marriage and felt a bit guilty the divorce wasn't even in the process. Now it is I feel fucking fantastic. Thanks to my bestie telling me I should tell him or show him how I feel. Don't think she meant pounce on him though,

sponge - honestly you know i rarely get second dates, in the 35 odd dates on the last 15 months this is the 3rd. they are bad stats :) so dont be jealous.

I would just text him, i dont think it matters what you text, if he wants to reply he will and it will turn into a conversation, and if he doesnt, then he wont. It does sound like hes just a very busy man right now, and i have no doubt that he really liked you and had a fab time.

I think he liked me a bit, but it was probably just sex, he is onto the next conquest now and has virtually forgotten me already. Not even sure it's worth texting him at all.

Men like that arent worth bothering with. I must be driving some people insane walking around on the rain with a smile and sparkle in my eye. I keep gettin asked out now too. Got a text about an hour ago

but you dont know that at all. women tend to take them blame on themselves, its really not you.
You know hes really busy - he said so himself and its most likely that hes just too busy to even think of anything other than dealing with his life right now. THAT HAS NO BEARING ON YOU!!!
its not you, his circumstances.
text - be friendly and then the door is open and its up to him. You have done nothing wrong at all. this is an absolute fact.

The unfortunate side of online dating is you have no idea what other peoples intentions are at the time, or they just lie. Some just want to go on a lot of dates, hence the total lack of second dates that is such a common problem. Some just want sex, and how many have we come across that have a perfectly excellent profile and pics and then they turn out to be sleeze bags and some maybe might want to see somone again if they hit it off and arent distracted by life. Its not you sponge - its not any of us. its just luck. thats all it is.

Interestingly i think mr will young alike said on the subject of looking to get laid - because i accused him of that because of the blank profile - he said if he was looking to get laid, wouldnt it make more sense to have an amazing profile, to entice people in, full of wonderful pics and words of how amazing he was, and how much he wanted a relationship - because then women would talk to him and he could get laid easily.
hes so fucking right. how many times have we all been taken in by that.you just never know somones intentions.

I don't know, I think I must just be someone who men don't want to see more than once - and it's not just the online stuff, its ones I meet in RL as well. There have been so many times I've had a great evening, they couldn't have been more interested in me/attracted to me, and then nothing. And it doesn't matter how much or how little happens between us (before anyone trots out the old chestnut of well if you didnt sleep with them on the first date you'd have more success etc), nothing changes the fact I never see any of them again.

Watch you're right about the profile though, I showed the Scot's to one of my RL friends and she said that it's clear he's not looking for anything serious relationship, but it's surprising he's effectively said as much. She thought - like Will Young alike that if you did just want something causal your hit rate would be greater the more detailed and interesting your profile would be.

I know where I stand at least (mainly thanks to you guys pushing me into it) and I love being around him. I get plenty of offers for sex, but I want more, I want bare minimum of lovers and friends and we are, so whatever happens, happens. There is nothing wrong with any of us. I have currently a kissing craving.

And me and just friends didn't sleep together for quite a while, but he kept coming back.

sponge - its not you. Its just not. its just luck. Its fuck all to do with shagging them too soon, or not soon enough. my god, my marriage was based off a one night stand, if they are just after sex they will disappear after sex, weather that is the first date or the fourth.
its literally two people meeting, liking each other and somehow doing it again / and/ or wanting to do it again, depending on where they are in their life.

Its shit all to do with you, or me, or what anyone said or did. Its just luck/ timing.

yeah - see, the will young alike is not a shitty person, hes actually very nice and honest. and right - as is your friend.

Morning everyone

watch I am so so pleased for you. I would be excited too if I were in your shoes ignoring the fact he has girlfriend. Not only is he hot, he is interesting, he is straightforward and honest. I really hope this is the start of Awwh, tis nice to see you so excited and happy, makes me feel all warm inside

Sponge, just text him. Text him as if you were a friend, a "hey, how are you doing " of something similar and equally friendly. It just lets him know you are thinking of him and it puts you into his head. Then sit back and see what happens