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Original poster

The Dating Thread - Part 12. How NOT to lose the will to live. Sense of humour essential!

999 replies

TimeForMeAndDD · 20/04/2012 07:24

Good morning everyone! Had to start a new thread as the old one is no longer receiving posts.

Fill yer boots! Grin

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Original poster
TimeForMeAndDD · 23/04/2012 11:19

I thought your response from Just Friends was "lets see how it goes" MLM? I wouldn't class that as a 'yes' to a relationship, not just yet.

Sponge exactly what watch says. I read an article which stated that when you sleep with a man has no bearing on how long the relationship will last. You can sleep with him on the first date or the fifth and the outcome could be the same, you might not see him again. In other words if a man wants sex with you and he doesn't get it on the first date, he will date you until he does get it, then make his decision as to whether he wants to be with you. Not you personally you understand, not you, as in 'you' Grin

I'm saving myself for my wedding day, then if the bastard man wants to dump me at least I will walk away with his house, car and half his bank balance Grin

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watchoutforthatsnail · 23/04/2012 11:19

time - i know. Im ignoring that part too. Its a non issue at the momment i think. the second date might not happen - i mean, he could cancel, or vanish, or anything...
or he could come and it all falls flat.
or he could come and we jus hang out and then dont want to see each other

there has been no snogging - only flirting and a hug. If the girlfriend thing becomes an issue, then ill have to think about it then, but at this point its not and i have no idea what, if anything i want it to be the start off.

im literally just excited because i had a fun evening with somone goodlooking who was nice and who im seeing again - and thats it. Im just enjoying that for what it is, you know?

hatesponge · 23/04/2012 11:24

Well, I've text him.

I'm willing to bet he doesn't reply.

Original poster
TimeForMeAndDD · 23/04/2012 11:24

I think if you go into it with the attitude that you are doing then it will all work out fine, whichever way it goes. He might start out as a friend, someone to hang out with, but it might develop into more. Time will tell. You will be able to suss him out on the second date, which I'm sure will happen! Smile

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hatesponge · 23/04/2012 11:26

I've just lost that bet

Shock
Original poster
TimeForMeAndDD · 23/04/2012 11:28

Grin Sponge, I respectfully request that you choose to think positively!! I'm pleased you aren't a criminal lawyer and that you aren't representing me "Look Time, I know you say you didn't kill him but I dare bet the jury will think differently, it's Monday and it's raining and that's always a bad sign. When you go to court bring an overnight bag with you just in case. But I will try to get you off" Grin

Enjoy the unknown, enjoy the anticipation of 'will he won't he'. But only if you want to of course. Am pleased you text him anyway! Smile

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Original poster
TimeForMeAndDD · 23/04/2012 11:29

HA HA HA HA HA HA HA! Grin Grin Grin Grin

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hatesponge · 23/04/2012 11:34

No-one is more surprised than me Grin

Now I can't think what to reply! I need someone to write my texts for me

I asked how he was, he had a bit of a moan about early starts/traffic etc and asked how I am....

watchoutforthatsnail · 23/04/2012 11:35

SEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

what did you say/ he say. spill ;) its exciting.

time - exactly. he said hes looking for a new girlfriend, and i said how you have to give these things time to grow on their own, which was why ' dating' was a weird concept, he saids things should just be organic... so its all just kind of casual and non comittal. which is great with me. id be surprised if he cancells, but i really have no clue on anything past tomorrow, im just enjoying it for what it is.
well, and thoughts of having lots of sex with him, but ill not act on them.

watchoutforthatsnail · 23/04/2012 11:36

say your great and had a fab weekend { instert somehting interesting} and does he fancy doing something this week.,
oh, just do it :)
go on.

go for it, whats the worst that can happen.

Original poster
TimeForMeAndDD · 23/04/2012 11:36

Grin Tell him that you are better than the weather! Say if he fancies some light relief from early starts and traffic that you are a willing participant Grin

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Original poster
TimeForMeAndDD · 23/04/2012 11:40

Crikey watch he sounds just like my kind of guy!! I love the sound of him, he's just what I'm after. I totally agree with what he says too. Ask him if his dad is single and looking for a girlfriend me Grin

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hatesponge · 23/04/2012 11:41

I've replied sympathetically to his whinging Grin, and said my weekend was fine but busy (mentioned DS's party for 30)

Time I shall use yours next time. Assuming I get a reply that is...

adamschic · 23/04/2012 11:41

I'm not sure about the time limit for sleeping with someone. Unfortunately, whilst we women are living in the 21st century some of these cave men guys have the double standards of olde.

watchoutforthatsnail · 23/04/2012 11:53

time - i know :) I did say it would be really nice to meet someone, hang out and see what happens. and he said lets do that then. i dont know, possibly all too good to be true ;) i mean, its rarley that simple, is it. And heres where i confess that i asked him out :) we had sent about 25 messages and i know he hates texts and emails and such, so i just said did he facny doing somehting in the week, and he said that would be ' fantastic' so i invited him over and then he said about me not thinking he just wants to jump into bed, he appreciated my company and is lookign forward to seeing me again.

how nice is that? so i text him my address and a time, and he said thanks and see you then.

and im sat there all baffled at how easy that all was.

sponge - ask him out, whats he going to say? if he says no, then thats it, and you have no more text griefe and if he says yes, you can be all excited.

adams - im totally sure about the time limit. and in any case, im not looking to ensnare someone with sex. if they only wanted me for that, then i dont want them :)

MyLittleMiracle · 23/04/2012 11:58

Oh I know its not yes to a relationship, but we do enjoy being around each other and we are quite close, as in he knows all but all of my past and me his, both still healing I suppose. But at least I am back in the saddle. My point is that if someone likes you they will keep returning to you. And we are friends, and a little more. maybe one day it will be a partnership but for now I am enjoying going with the flow and experimenting. And for now not seeing anyone else. Like we said let's see what happens.

Original poster
TimeForMeAndDD · 23/04/2012 12:09

That's all lovely watch and that is how easy it should be Smile I know I keep saying it but he does sound so lovely. He might be so lovely that he refuses to have sex until he has actually dumped his gf. Now that would make him a keeper watch!

Sponge agree with watch, just ask him out. You have nothing to lose, he can only say no and if he does then... NEXT!

I'm not sure the time limit matters. I've never actually slept with anyone on a first date but that's because I've not wanted to/felt the urge to. I think if I were to meet someone now and had the urge to sleep with him, then I would. I don't really care about the time limit, it's all a part of the game playing to me and I'm not into game playing. I'm too old for all that nonsense Grin

watch I am now in possession of that man's number. Grin I'm going to use it too, not just yet, but I am!

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Original poster
TimeForMeAndDD · 23/04/2012 12:12

I'm pleased you are having a nice time with it all MLM, just don't go getting hurt Smile

Also, can I just say, my counsellor did advise me never to give details of the abuse to a man I got involved with, until I was sure of him and totally trusted him. She told me that hearing of an abusive relationship is music to an abusive boyfriends ears. Maybe best to keep some things to yourself for a while Smile

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lovesineffable · 23/04/2012 12:14

I cant think of any time when I didnt sleep with someone on a first date..I think I'd be offended if he didnt want to Grin

hatesponge · 23/04/2012 12:17

Ok, so he's replied again. I need to ask him out, you're right, otherwise it will drag on & on, and this time next week I'll still be wondering...so what do I say? (have never asked before, probably where I go wrong!)Do I go with Time's previous suggestion or just ask if he wants to go for a drink when he's free next....or what?

Oddly I am never lost for words face to face. Just hopeless by text. I think it is the pressure of trying to condense my thoughts into 50 or so words!

watchoutforthatsnail · 23/04/2012 12:20

just ask him if he fancies doing something on the weekend ( im presuming you are free then).

just leave it vague , then if he says yes, think of somethng to do quickly.

lovesineffable · 23/04/2012 12:26

or something like
'it'd be really good to see you again/catch up with you you're free soon/this weekend'

lovesineffable · 23/04/2012 12:27

if you're free

hatesponge · 23/04/2012 12:28

Ok I've sent it - said is he working the weekend again and if not does he want to meet up....

so we shall see.

hatesponge · 23/04/2012 12:32

He is working all weekend apart from Sunday :(

He did reply with 4 kisses. The teenager in me considers that a good sign Grin

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