The Brave Babes Battle Bus - Staying Springy In Their Quest For Sobriety.

[Mouseface]

Hello, I'm Mouse I have an shockingly abusive relationship with alcohol, mainly vodka.

This Bus is full of drinkers, non-drinkers, thinkers and Babes, all trying to find their way to a happy, sober life.

Some are there, some are almost there and some are not. It really doesn't matter, we're all in this together.

Why not find a seat? Everyone is welcome, drinking or drunk, come and say hello.

HERE is the previous thread, with a link to all of the other wonderful journeys so far............

I am there too, I dreaded giving up the booze because I knew I wouldn't sleep properly.

I also know the sleep I get whilst on the vino isn't real sleep, it's passing out.

It's worth perservering with, I slept properly last night, and I hope even though I had very minor slip this evening, now I am sipping a chamomile tea, I have taken my kalms, my lavender plug in is on in the bedroom and I have my lavender pillow spray and ear plugs ready, I will sleep well again.

I got home and realised i had meatballs in the fridge that needed to be used up.. .I had a mini panic as the recipe has 100ml red wine in it.. then i realised that there was still port front Christmas opened so used that instead of opening a bottle that would need to be finished

Re sleeping .. I sleep well now and don't wake up during the night feeling guilty about drinking

i have the wildest dreams though and still feel tired in the morning

Aw thanks for all the lovely kind words Babes - you've made me feel like super-mum for a day!

Proud I don't think 7 is too young to talk about it, but I agree that they will ask for the information they're ready for. DD has known for a long time that the sperm is manufactured in the testicles and transported through the penis. She knew that the sperm fertilises the egg in the fallopian tube. But it's only very recently that she asked exactly how the sperm (henceforth known in our family as starlings ) get to the uterus and fallopian tubes - she just wasn't ready for that information before I don't think just as she wasn't ready to know about porn yet

It was easy for me to explain it to her when she was little because she picked up my anatomy and physiology textbooks (I was training to be a midwife at the time, although I didn't complete the course) and was curious about the pictures. As I was living and breathing the direct consequences of reproduction at the time, she picked up quite a lot as I went along through the course. Today I was showing her the size of the cervical os in a woman who hasn't given birth vaginally, and then showed her how much it has to dilate for the baby to come out. She told me very firmly that she doesn't want to have a baby. I told her to keep that in mind through her teenage years.

Anyway enough of my rambling, I only came on to say thank you for all the support, as usual, and wish you all peaceful sleep. It does take a few days at least for your body to get into better sleep patterns, joey. My sleep has never been good; I could choose between getting a bit pissed, falling asleep easily but waking up in the small hours with anxiety and my whole body just feeling wrong, or not drinking so much (half a bottle or more but then stopping after dinner) and not being able to get to sleep until the small hours. Now I'm sleeping better than I have done in years. In fact my Italian language learning progress has stalled, because I'm not spending wakeful hours every night listening to it on my ipod.

Isinde I hope you feel better soon.

Joey you asked how old DD is - she's 9.

Kirsty I have very vivid dreams too; I often wake up tired from all the dream shenanigans and feelingnlike I need a good night's sleep.

Will post fish curry recipe in morning.

Despite promising not to drink last night, I drank. In the night, I got up and poured the remaining bottles down the sink. So today is a new day and tonight I will do my utmost not to drink.

morning all - hope people slept

greyhound i'm glad you've poured it away - just too easy to drink it if it is there isn't it?

day 15 today.

along with the not drinking i've been trying to do 2 things i don't want to do every day to develop a bit more self discipline and to feel good about having done them iyswim. they may be very simple things like taking ds to the park after school and sitting there when i really just want to go home. or when i walk the dog after dropping ds at school and want to come the quick way back through the fields making myself do the longer route instead. small things but along with the drinking i think it is habit changing, learning not to go with your whims and what you want at that moment all the time. i do think drinking is about selfishness in a way - putting that 'i want, now' voice first or something.

i'm also trying (until my pmt-esque moment yesterday) to not let my emotions overtake me - you know how you know when you're being unreasonable or silly or over sensitive or whatever - well i'm intervening more at that point instead of letting myself go with it - i think that connects to the drinking too - if you go down the road of indulging that tantruming head it leads to a drink i reckon and the kind of thinking that justifies having a drink.

i'm finding for me personally it's far more about managing my head and my feelings than trying to not have a drink - if i do the former the latter happens easily itms.

anyway enough waffle from me. morning babes.

Morning all; how are you feeling grey? What are your plans tonight?

saf one thing I do to keep things moving is to get up and dressed first thing. Sounds tiny, but it has to be done before 7 because of shared bathroom and getting everyone else up; on the days I'm not working it was too easy to put yesterday's clothes on, sort the DCs out and take them to school and then be back home pottering and aimless by 8.30. It's a struggle to fit it in in the morning, but I feel much more productive and get more done if I'm not stopping mid morning or later to have a bath. I guess it's what you were saying about learning not to go with your whims and what you want at that moment all the time.

Horribly dark and rainy here- where did that drought weather go?

Boinging into Day 6 here

Morning all, very very hot here, unbearably so. I really miss being cold at points - the not good thing about weather like this is that you really can't spend much time outdoors, I hate that.

Yes to the making yourself do things you don't want to - being less selfish, being more controlled. Whims are sometimes lovely, but often are just an excuse for poor behaviour. Well, they are for me, anyway.

My OCD means I have to try and find a balance - I can veer far too far towards the overcontrolled. Sometimes I feel as if I spend my life dealing with a balacing act of tightrope proportions, and only a small wobble will send me plunging to the ground. I have to keep reminding myself that we are more robust that that, and so what if there is a small fall, you can just pick yourself up and climb back on.

Patchy night's sleep for me again and I have woken up to weather Armageddon!

I can't help thinking my insomnia was punishment for the bottle of lager and 1/4 glass of wine I drank in the early evening, back on the lime and tonic tonight!

Have a good day all and stay safe in this wind!

< Boings in >

Peak of the week < click, click >
Peak of the week < click, click >
Peak of the week, peak of the week, peak of the week < click, click >

No, I have not gone mad, I am singing and clicking my fingers. Can you gues the tune?

Happy Hump day everyone It's pouring here but I'm boinging all over the place. I feel like an annoying puppy this morning . Better get myself off to work where I can make use of that energy. See ya later x

< Boings out >

Morning all

Not sleeping well here either but I know from passed experience that it will come and when it does it will be the lovely peaceful snug as a bug restful kind of sleep.

Today I will not give in to the evil voice. Only onwards and upwards for me from now on. Only I can change my life. I am in control of my own happiness. I am the one who chooses what to put inside my body. Today's choices become tomorrow's reality. Today I choose water, tea and healthy food with a long walk thrown in. Tomorrow I will maybe wake up tired, but I will be proud of my choices of today.

Day 3 today and already my black alcohol infused cloud is lifting.

Wishing all the babes that are on the bus a happy AFD.. X

To the ones on the roof rack, in the side car or just jogging behind jump onboard take control of your own happiness... I've been wanting to catch this bus for over a year now and I'm so glad I did. Thank you brave babes for the inspiration.

Anita this really is the best bus in town, and best of all, rides are totally free. I owe so much to these Babes.

Fairie 20lb, wow! You are right, it feels damn good. I needed a positive goal for not drinking and weight is a good one. I think Kate Moss made some stupid comment about nothing tasting as good as skinny feels. Skinny, no, but nothing tastes as good as slim feels for sure.

Except maybe Maltesers. And bacon....

Morning, apologies for the random posts, I am trying to keep up with the thread but struggling.

Anyway, its lovely to read all the posts which focus on how well us Babes are doing without the demon booze - Mia and her super parenting (must remember to show DD pictures of cervical dilation in teenage years ) and saf and the daily challenges (I do like that idea, might adopt it myself).

I meant to post yesterday because guess what. It was a sober-versary, I have been a whole month without drink. To be honest I feel like crap but I know I would feel so much worse with drink added to the mix. Roll on next month when work should be better...

Right, back to the grindstone ... love and strength to you all x

Faire the Adam's family!

This isn't another i spy game-like is it? That was rubbish.

MsGee 1 month!

Good morning you wonderful women! Great to see so much determination and positivity on the bus this morning. Loving your song Faire but I can't guess the tune.

Great post saf. All of what you're saying dovetails perfectly with this book on willpower I'm reading - you are strengthening your willpower muscle by training it. I know I've mentioned it quite a few times but I really would recommend it to people; it's what precipitated all this for me (once I finally summoned the willpower to start reading it ) and I'm finding it very interesting and relevant. There's a chapter on drinking and on why AA works, and the importance of having support around you and people you feel accountable to. I think that's why this bus works so well; it's a created community of people with the same aims, who support and monitor each other. A sort of online AA meeting, MN stylee. I know I couldn't have done this without being supported by you babes, and feeling like I'd made a promise and had to stick to it.
This is the book, anyway.

Well done on your month MsGee! I haven't been counting days any more because I drank moderately at the weekend and intend to continue doing that. But maybe I can count the days since I got drunk, or since my moderate drinking regime was implemented. So I'm 15 days MDRI. Had a twinge on Monday when I felt I deserved a 'reward' for all my loft work. I told myself that the reward would be waking up yesterday with no trace of a hangover and not feeling ashamed of myself. Oh, and I made slow cooked ragu with meatballs yesterday and DIDN'T crave a glass of red with it!

Boss , where on earth do you live?? Surely cannot be within a 1000 mile radius of the UK?

Gerald will turn into an ark soon if this bloody rain doesn't give it a rest !!

adams family?

damn someone beat me to it!

well done on the month msgee - don't let the feeling crap wobble you - feeling crap is always going to happen sometimes and drinking won't solve it. but you know that so sorry to bore on at you. hope work gets under control - never know what to say to you as i can't say hope work quietens down because you need the work when self employed and have to take it when it comes. be nice if it came in in a smooth flow though wouldn't it? then you wouldn't have to grab everything all at once for worry that next month would be slow. i find it really impressive that you make being self employed work - hope you give yourself credit for how successful you are

i have been soaked to the bone - literally had to peel off my jeans and abandon them on the doorstep. i've left my boots upside down outside to drain. certainly exercised my will power today walking through wind, rain and hail through the fields and it was swamp like underfoot but the dog has been walked

are you moaning to english people about sunshine tbom tsk!

Thanks Helpyourself. Tonight, I have some nice soft drinks in the fridge. I feel pretty awful today - I didn't really sleep well and just feel fed up with myself.

As luck would have it, I have been invited to a drinks party tomorrow evening and think I will have to say I am on anti-biotics or something as I just can't trust myself not to get wasted.

Another one here who braved horizontal wind and rain to take the pup out, finally dried off now I have to go out again!