The Brave Babes Battle Bus - Staying Springy In Their Quest For Sobriety.

[Mouseface]

Hello, I'm Mouse I have an shockingly abusive relationship with alcohol, mainly vodka.

This Bus is full of drinkers, non-drinkers, thinkers and Babes, all trying to find their way to a happy, sober life.

Some are there, some are almost there and some are not. It really doesn't matter, we're all in this together.

Why not find a seat? Everyone is welcome, drinking or drunk, come and say hello.

HERE is the previous thread, with a link to all of the other wonderful journeys so far............

Mia I wish my mum had been like you! She was so embarrassed talking about sex etc. She didn't prepare me properly for periods and when I started to have periods I didn't tell her as I felt ashamed.

Like you, I am worried about internet porn etc. It does worry me that it is possible for children to be exposed to graphic porn. When I was a kid, I remember finding some copies of Playboy in my dad's cupboard, but that was tame compared to what there is now.

I do worry about peer pressure as well. My ds (aged nine) went on a school trip last week and they played some kind of spin the bottle / strip for a dare game - just the boys, no girls - and I think it was just a bit of silliness. The fact that ds told me about it makes me think it was harmless but it did worry me a little.

Hopefully hope you are okay and not too worried. FWIW I don't think this kind of thing (a friend had it and she doesn't drink) is caused by alcohol consumption but please do throw the wine away if you haven't already. Mind you, I can hardly talk - I've been in the side car every evening...

mia - your dd sounds a bit like ds and he is only 5! the questions and discussions get really interesting - he already knows the facts of life and what periods are and etc etc. i sort of think if you've always talked about this stuff then openess will hopefully be taken for granted and continue - can't see how people manage to not talk about stuff anyway - i dont' get any choice with the q's ds asks. it really sounds like a fab discussion you had her

i just got tempted to have a drink, briefly and i wouldn't go with it but i am really ggggrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!!!!!!!!!!! suddenly. think i must be premenstrual because i've got that horrible, itchy, narky irritation thing going on. please, please don't let this be too drawn out! hadn't thought of pmt as a drinking trigger.

took ds to the park after school and tolerated it as long as i could with stupid little things pissing me off that wouldn't normally. now home and just have to get through a few hours without killling anyone and then i can go to bed

Oh no Isinde sounds horrid :( Hope it soon passes.

just a head's up for anyone with mood disorders of any kind - atkins is really dodgy if you are prone to depression so mind yourself well. the body needs carbs to build serotonin and when atkins took off back in the day it became well known for triggering sudden onset nasty depression.

< waves to TheBoss > . Well done on the weight loss. I'm right behind you, lost about 20lb so far this year. Feels great doesn't it .

Venus you made me laugh with your description because I'm so similar. Apple shape - check, small bum - check, big tum - check . But I must say, the weight I have lost seems to have gone from my waist so I am getting a bit of shape back. My trousers keep slipping and dd said I should just wear them on my hips but then they're too long . So, I will join you and Mouse (do we have to post weights? ). How about we post bmi's instead, that doesn't give too much away. Or is that worse? .

I really struggle with exercise too but I am going to pilates which is not too strenuous but really helps to tone the core (which might be why I am getting my waist back actually, thinking about it) and I do a bit of zumba at home and badminton when I can be arsed find a partner.

Mia brilliant work on the loft, so glad your dd enjoyed it and I think you handled 'the talk' really well too. I had to speak with my ds (aged 12) a couple of months ago because he was looking at porn online. There is so much they can get access to, even if it's just still pictures. Anyway, we had a chat about why some people might 'choose' to feature in porn and how it was nothing like what sex should be between two fully consenting adults who have actual real feelings for each other. He was highly embarrassed but it was worth doing and he has left it alone now. He is (naturally) extremely curious though, I bought him a book called Living with a Willy last year and he dived straight into it. Funny that, he's not usually so keen to read anything . Anyway, yes, talk, talk, talk, s'all good .

Blimey, think I have written an essay. Oh, just wanted to say to Hopefully - when you are stuck in a hole what do you do? Keep digging? There was a lovely clip from tv that someone posted on here to do with being in a hole? Help me out babes, what was it?

When my GP told me that to lower my BP I needed to lose weight, eat less salt and drink less alcohol, I thought I guess he knows what he's talking about, so that's what I did. Now my BP is normal. You can change things but you have to make that change yourself. Don't stick your head in the sand and keep doing the thing that caused the problem in the first place. We are all here to help you, we care x

Howdy - day 15. Feeling great. Do I really want a drink this Fri??

Funnily enough, I am in the throes of dealing with sex questions and frantically applying parental controls on all our various devices too at the mo!

I want to buy one of the books recommended by you clever lot for my 10 year old son.

Question - is my 7 year old (nearly 8) old enough to learn/talk about sex issues too? She knows the basics and is a hardy one - nothing fazes her. But is it better to leave this a while?

Actually who did recommend books? Can't find now!

proud I'd say that 7/8 is not too young to start talking about sex as more than 'a sperm meets an egg', and more importantly, the earlier you start talking about it the earlier you get over your embarassment (which I think is one of the biggest problems).

Proud at that age I would probably deal with things if they come up in conversation or if she asks questions but not worry about introducing the subject if she's not particularly interested just yet. But maybe get a book and keep it for when she does show an interest then you can look at it together and talk about it.

Girls can start puberty from around age 9. You could also check with your school because they teach sex ed in primary schools but not sure what year they would start. I think they start with reproduction in plants in year 3.

Saf maybe not the best time to give up chocolate? Can you get to a meeting? x

i go with the idea that if they ask the question then they are old enough to hear the answer (many years ago, my youngest db looked at dm and said 'mummy, do you know where we come from'? she took big gulp and said 'well, when a man and a lady....' 'noooo' said db, 'i know all about sperms, we come from monkeys of millions of years ago' he was 6! )

i too am apple shape, gradually becoming an orchard! i like the look of your diet mouse, i feel very run down, old and unhealthy right now so im off to look up more about them!

going to a meeting tomorrow night faire - good point actually about the chocolate. hoping the period just comes but it's a bit early for me so.... we shall see! sobriety comes first for sure.

SAF, can we cross and grumpy together at back of bus?!

Have bitten off anyone and everyones head today - can only put it down to PMS (although of course I would never admit that).

Normally the unaccountable rage/stress levels I have had today would send me straight to wine.
Instead am going to take myself off for bath and bed before I cause anymore trouble!

yes chasingtail i'll sit and grouch with you. me too on the normally it would be a cue for wine. enjoy your bath

Cheers Saf. I'll bring the carb free, calorie free chocolate

Slight stumble tonight guys, I had a small bottle of lager and about a quarter of a glass of wine. Back on the lime and tonic now, oh well

Arrrggghhh just ate SIX mini Green & Black bars!!! Curses to my mother for palming them off on me so she wouldn't eat them!

I am also hoping desperately that the pounds will fall off without dieting trying to lose half a stone.

Not lost a pound in the last two weeks despite abstinence! WHY??

Epic fail. Too tired to go to Sainsburys, so went to mini-Tescos and ended up with normal-size bottle of wine. (ended up with? oh dear)

Will give a glass to DH & worry in case he drinks more than that. The rest is mine.

Just so tired - all I could think was 'do the washing-up/walk the dog/etc and you can have some wine'

Actually one of the reasons for cutting down was to try and sleep better. But I'm still not sleeping well even if I haven't had any alcohol, so whats the point?

Just finished (properly) reading Jason Vale's book on drinking.

His perspective is 'why on earth would you want to drink?', followed by a raft of the unpleasant emotional, mental, financial physical side effects,

He then blasts the excuses we make in defense of drinking eg stress, genes, boredom, social occasions etc, saying that this is purely down to brainwashing from a very early age and is basically a load of bollocks

Won't blab on, but is a really good read & has made me look at my drinking habits from a completely different angle.

X post. Not meant for anyone in particular

alias / joey (not sure what we are calling you)... If you want to sleep better, it will most likely take a week or two of consistent effort: no caffeine, no alcohol, get up early, no tv before bed, no computer before bed, cool room, dark room, use of lavender / camomile, listen to sleep tape etc. As I say to my dp (with whom I have this dicussion often) you can't just do it for one night and expect it to work, it is about getting into proper sleep habits which requires consistancy.

I think we live in a world of such instant gratification that if what we try doesn't have immediate effect then we give up. Yet if we read the posts on here I think we can see that taking the same approach for several days (and sticking with it in the short term when things seem difficult) is what brings rewards.

I made it safely to the end of day 2.

I took your advice SAF and drank loads of water. Thank you.

Good night all brave and sober babes.....

no alcohol OR caffeine ?! actually I try to (usually) be good about the caffeine - only 1 coffee a day and never after lunch.

venus Your post has made me feel rather ashamed, although I have been trying with the sleep for a long time. Alcohol - I admit I do give in too quickly. No willpower

it's not about will power. it's about being honest with yourself. knowing when you're making excuses for example or twisting common sense and reality around to make it fit with what you're really after ie. to drink.

joey the last thing I wanted to do was to make you feel bad If there was irritation in my post it was aimed entirely at my dp (who tries lavender oil for one night, then says 'that didn't work' - grrr).

But seriously, I do believe that good sleep comes with good habits, and we alcohol-problematics find it all too easy to revert to the alcohilic 'arms of morpheus'. But it is not good sleep, it is not restorative sleep. And that kind of sleep is so worth a couple of weeks of effort