The Brave Babes Battle Bus - Staying Springy In Their Quest For Sobriety.

[Mouseface]

Hello, I'm Mouse I have an shockingly abusive relationship with alcohol, mainly vodka.

This Bus is full of drinkers, non-drinkers, thinkers and Babes, all trying to find their way to a happy, sober life.

Some are there, some are almost there and some are not. It really doesn't matter, we're all in this together.

Why not find a seat? Everyone is welcome, drinking or drunk, come and say hello.

HERE is the previous thread, with a link to all of the other wonderful journeys so far............

Day 4. Again. Epic fail over the weekend, but determined not to do my usual and give in on day 4. Only got to say 4 three times never past it and guess what?? I have HUGE urges for alcohol!! I refuse to give in but I have said this copious amounts of times. I plan to have a bath and take a herbal sleeping tablet and go to bed with a good book. Thursday night I won't drink as I run Friday mornings so dreading the Friday night cravings but one day at a time I guess...

I live in Bangkok, chasingtail. Saf is right, I shouldn't moan! It's the height of summer here and 35 degrees by 9am!

saf thank you ((( ))) that was lovely and really cheered me up. I often find it very hard and difficult to balance - and I don't like to moan as I am very lucky. But thank you.

And I hope your boots dry soon. There is something slightly wonderful about being soaked through though, stripping off and getting dry again. Or is that just me

Well done msgee the first month was the worst for me, it got lots easier after that. My sleep got better, I found my boing.

Oh and it's just you re the drying thing

I have a pair of boot earners here if anyone wants to come and collect them?

Damn you autocorrect. That should be boot warmers.

i couldn't cope with it tbom - the humidity there makes me feel disgusting - never felt clean even straight out of the shower. so moan away, it's actually making me feel quite grateful for having the central heating on and being curled under a fluffy blanket after my shower

msgee - you're welcome. you're doing great and should remind yourself of it.

saf I DD has a Peppa Pig fleece blanket which is super cosy. I have now decided it lives in the lounge, so I can wrap it round myself (like a towel) when I work or curl under it at night.

Many times I have nearly got to the front door fully dressed with a PP blanket wrapped around me. Like a big Peppa/Gee sausage .

yesterday i half dozed off on the sofa then snapped out of it and dashed round to the shop for something. when i got back i saw myself in the mirror and my hair was totally stuck up on one side with a hair clip sticking out and i had a crease mark across my face

The humidity is a killer, I shower in the morning and then again just before bed to avoid going to bed feeling all sticky. And my hair, my poor, poor hair. Fortunately you can get a professional blow dry every morning for a pound a go, otherwise I would be sporting a birds nest most days.

Dh and I each had sofa throws that were really blankets to snuggle under in the uk. Soft and lovely. Bliss.

Feeling terrible, babes :( Bipolar playing up. Woke up feeling really down, then felt high and now I am down again. I am wishing I hadn't thrown away the wine last night but if I hadn't I would only drink it tonight and feel worse.

Hope everyone else is ok. I will not drink tonight.

We keep a pile of snuggly blankies behind the sofa and grab one each to wrap up in when it's cold out. I've been lighting lots of candles too to make it cosy. I really miss our open fire but I guess that would probably be too hot.

I hate getting wet, getting soaked in the rain is my idea of hell. I'm not even keen on swimming. Think I must have been a cat in a past life. I love to be warm and could easily sleep 20 hours a day .

Oh, yes, it was the Adams family - I've had that song going through my head all day!

MsGee that is fab, well done

Greyhound you did the right thing to throw it away. There is not point adding alcohol to the mix when you feel down. Have you checked your other needs, are you hungry, angry, lonely, tired (thirsty, bored)? Break your evening into 30 minute manageable slots. What do you need to get done? What else could you do to keep busy or relax. Come back and let us know how you're getting on x

Greyhound you did the right thing throwing it away. Sorry you're feeling so crap.

I'm also feeling crap. Not feeling well today, nor is DD. Even the dog's been sick 3 times. Feeling tired and drained, intensely irritable, aching, super-sensitive. My period is just starting so maybe it's that, or maybe DD and I have got a virus.

I just know how much more cheerful I'd feel after a glass of white. I'll eat early to stave off the craving.

Just told DD to turn the cartoons she was watching off because the noise and flashing images make me want to scream. My super-mum-ness didn't last long, did it.

Grrrrr!

ok - feel free to throw things at me but it is not really likely to be the bipolar so suddenly and so erratically. mood all over the place in one day (unless you're in a mixed state phase which usually follows on from hypomania or something rather than just boom it's there) is more likely a hangover/low blood sugar/being in a bad place emotionally/stress/hormones/whatever.

if this is the bipolar kicking off - as in not just today but actual cycling going on then you need to make a GP appointment and see what is going on with your meds. if you have any flexibility in your meds eg. some antipsychotics or benzos you can take, or increase dose of, when things kick off then now's the time to use them.

i would also strongly recommend being honest with your gp - TELL them you end up using alcohol to self medicate when feeling erratic/anxiety/mania/whatever. tell them it concerns you and you need a better solution. if they're anywhere near decent they won't judge and they will help you work on it and find other options - re: additional meds for example.

i was honest with the doctor, then eventually agreed to see the psychiatrist (i hate mental health services and swore off them for ages) and he was fab! honestly fab, not at all shocked or judgmental and all about finding solutions.

sorry for the mental health detour babes but greyhound if you ever want to talk about this stuff do pm or we can swap numbers or something. it really does make it worse using the drink because it's a depressant physically and you're adding in a load of guilt,shame whatever as well. sorry if i should have butted out but it's a bit of a familiar road for me.

i am feeling 'i don't want to go to aa'-ish. could really easily not go. someone kick my arse please?

< kicks saf (but more of a gentle nudge really >

You will be glad you went. Come back later and tell us how it went?

((( grey )))

Look after yourself. What are your plans for tonight?

And a gentle shove for saf

it is lashing it down - i'm going to be drowned before i even get to the bus stop i'm not feeling great - i would have drank now! for sure! grrrrrr.

Did you go Saf? How was it?

< offers towel and hairdryer >

Faire are you still there?

Yes MsGee I'm here x

i don't know what to do with DD, I am failing so badly. We are both sat here crying. I can't even get her to go to bed. She just won't/

Hi. Been lurking. Having bad panic attacks. Lots of stress going on. Can't drink as just bring it back up.

MsGee don't worry about it. Just take a moment. Breathe. It won't matter, in two years time you won't even remember tonight. Just sit quietly for a bit.

What's happened?

Cas same for you really, my lovely. Take a moment. Just sit quietly and concentrate on your breathing. Just be calm for a couple of minutes.

What's going on with you tonight?