The Brave Babes Battle Bus - Staying Springy In Their Quest For Sobriety.

[Mouseface]

Hello, I'm Mouse I have an shockingly abusive relationship with alcohol, mainly vodka.

This Bus is full of drinkers, non-drinkers, thinkers and Babes, all trying to find their way to a happy, sober life.

Some are there, some are almost there and some are not. It really doesn't matter, we're all in this together.

Why not find a seat? Everyone is welcome, drinking or drunk, come and say hello.

HERE is the previous thread, with a link to all of the other wonderful journeys so far............

But still a bottle of wine over two days is actually really GOOD for me after four days of not drinking :) So feeling encouraged to not buy any booze tomorrow and to carry on.

Morning all - have had a prolonged MN absence - lots of RL stuff getting in the way. Will try and catch up on what's going on with the thread later. \

Celia hello. Yes to not buying the booze and carrying on. Well done to moderating the amount you drank even under pressure. Maybe find a different "release" for the anger of rows - exercise works for me.

Ma I think you have to explain to your DD about the silver anniv thing. I had a similar situation with my parents (long history or break ups, remarriages, complicated blended families etc etc, soap operas have nothing on my family). The thing is, in spite of witnessing so many rows that they became normal in my eyes, I still used to feel immense disappointment when I went to lots of effort on their anniversary and I could see the sadness in my DMs eyes - I just saw it as lack of appreciation for my (childish) efforts.

Until my Dm explained how she felt about her marriage and why she didn't want to celebrate it. It did two things, helped me prepare for the coming break up (the first of many, they are now back together again after a long long time apart, but that is driven more by pragmatism, old age and some affection than love) but also freed me from the sense of obligation that I felt to try and make their marriage happy. You see, I used to think, if only I can do xyz, then they would be happy, if only I do abc, they will see how much they love each other. I have always suffered from a sense of needing to fix things!

Have had 1 bottle of wine on Mother's Day, and 1 at the end of my Easter holiday, shared with DH. So we are both doing well. Some sense of discomfort about my life, but can't put my finger on quite what it is. Will figure it out at some point.

Have lost 26 pounds since 4 Jan. Am now back to pre-sick weight. Yay. I now have no clothes that fit properly, need to go shopping (boobs are now much smaller than before, lots of tissue lost, but they still look like boobs, which is miraculous, I thought I would lose the lot). My knickers fell down whilst I was walking around at home the other day because they are so big on me. I think maybe my boobs weighed more than I realised, because even though I'm the same weight, everything is much smaller. Or maybe its because its now muscle weight rather than just fat weight. Whatever, I need to hang out on the S&B threads and get some advice on how to dress for my new shape.

I'm awake bright and early today.. Not yet got the boing but not hungover.

Today I will be kind to myself and not drink.

I want the whites back in my eyes that I had last week after 5AFD. Guess I will just have to wait until Friday for that and the spring in my step to return.

I wish all the beautiful brave babes a terrific Tuesday. I hope that you too are being kind to yourselfs. X

it's good to see you tbom wondered how you were doing and it sounds like you're doing great with the drinking and the weight loss! go shopping - bras are the first thing - you need good fitting bras. what shape are you? we could be your s&b advisors

day 14 here - that's 2 weeks innit?

lots of water anita - lots and lots.

i ended up lazy yesterday and not getting much done despite good intentions. i watched something that suddenly turned horrific at the end and triggered some horrible feelings and flashbacks unexpectedly which ate into my day and intentions. hey ho! today is a new day.

hope everyone got a decent night's sleep and those who drank at the weekend are getting a little hint of boing back this morning x

MissCelia one of the things the addiction people told me was key to recovery was telling people. They told me that I HAD to tell my nearest and dearest. You have to be honest with them so that they can provide you with the support you'll need. I have been gingerly admitting the problem. Not at work, but at home and with friends. None of them have judged me.

Hi saf - bras, yes, definitely need some new ones. I'm about 3 cup sizes smaller, but they are still a bit puffy, and are now a very odd shape due to tissue loss, but that will get fixed in time. Right now, I;m stuffing old bras with chicken fillets until size settles down, so it all looks the same size on the outside, but I think I'm going to enjoy the new svelter less booby me.

Shape - hmm, used to be an hourglass, think I might end up more pear-like when all this is over with. No idea what that means in terms of dress - I used to dress a bit Christina Hendricks, but don't think that's going to work for much longer.

I love shopping - am v v vain, and adore donning new things. I treat clothes as fancy dress - different looks bring out different bits of my personality. The somewhat less feminist side of me!

MissCelia agree with Hopefully re telling people. Have a look back at my old posts (Aug/Sep/Oct last year) about how much I worried about telling people, but how amazingly supportive many people were when the truth came out. Its liberating to be honest. It really is.

Morning campers! Oops, sorry, wrong thread

Not quite a boing here but I actually managed some sleep last night after resorting to ear plugs!

The sun is shining here which bodes well for walking the dog and fresh air.

May the daybe good to you all x

saf 2 weeks! Take stock and consider how far you've come, not just in time, but more importantly in your attitude to drinking and getting help! You were so down and resistant to a solution, and now you are so positive. It's funny how watching something can knock you off beam- there's another thread about avoiding upsetting stuff post DCs, and I've found that it's part of self care and an important part of staying sober to avoid getting into needless rucks or triggering films or books.

hopefully I agree- secrets keep you sick. Coming out as an alcoholic was what got me sober.

x posted with ginger and Boss, morning all!

Well, I am struggling a bit. I drank last night - not a huge amount and I feel fine today, but I am worried about slipping back into 'a bottle a night'...

Today, I will not drink.

Hi everyone, nice to see everyone so positive this morning. boss you made me laugh with the image of your knickers falling down.

celia that sounds like a step in the right direction. I agree about telling people - I think you'll be surprised at how supportive people are.

Lazy day planned here, after the exertions of the last week. I'm just going to enjoy having DD back and let her enjoy her new loft room. I have got to have a conversation with her today that I'm not looking forward to though... I posted about it here under my last name (crabby) because I've been posting so much very personal stuff under this name. I knew it would be too complicated for my weeny brain to keep swapping between the names though, and sure enough I quickly forgot and posted under this name. Oh well.

I still don't quite know what or what not to say to DD about this, so any input from you wise brave babes would be very much appreciated.

Good luck with the chat Mia you know oyur daughter best so you will be able to handle it

did she like the loft???

Kxx

Mia fortunately the only people there to witness it were DH, DD and DD's nanny. I am currently finding it rather hard to look her in the eye.

Wow re the conversation with your DD, good for you for planning the chat. I found out about porn when hunting for a lost toy under my parents bed and finding father's stash - can't remember exactly how old I was, but probably around your DDs age. Far better to learn about it in a more appropriate way. I remember feeling sick and curious all at the same time.

I have no advice to offer except to explain why porn is damaging to all women. Am rather in awe of your parenting skills, tbh.

ginger - I recently started using earplugs at night & it def makes a difference. Blocks out so much residual sound, snoring husband, creaky floor boards, heating coming etc. Sleep much better with them

should use them during the day when around screaming kids

chasing it was mainly to block out the husband's snoring, funnily enough, he used to complain about my snoring!

mia I wasn't so much plannng to drink, as am 'allowed' to on Tuesdays and Fridays. Have not decided if I will or not - it seems ridiculous to go to Sainsburys just to get a little bottle of wine (I only buy small bottles!)

Glad your daughter liked her new attic den, you worked so hard on it

mia well done you for tackling the subject with your dd. I was a bit surprised at some of the comments on the other thread (the ones about not letting your dd play with her friends etc).

I think that talking with dd about the whole range of things she might see / hear is a great approach. There have always been 'naughty' pictures around, and it is sad that we live in a world where things are so much more explicit and that therefore young people become aware of them long before they are able to understand or handle the emotions. But then the same applies to other horrors in the world - torture, war, murder, fear. When I was growing up what we saw on TV was very tame, yet I still had nightmares about them, and I think that, as children, what we don't understand becomes both firghtening and fascinating. So yes, yes to speaking to your dd about the kind of things she might hear.

I wonder if some of the uncomfortableness about speaking about 'sex to make babies', 'sex for pleasure', 'sex for entertainment', 'sex as exploitation' is because we were not taught about it in a secure and loving context (i.e. by a trusted parent), and therefore made our own discoveries about it with all the mix of horror, shame and excitement.

Some young children masturbate, and there is a difference between letting them know that 'you do that in a private place' (i.e. no 'fiddling' on the bus) and telling them 'that things to do with sex are private and shouldn't be talked about with your friends'. I do think that the latter approach promulgates the confusion about whether sex is natural and good, or whether it is dirty and shameful. Curious children will always talk about these kind of things, and much better for your dd to be able to tell you that she saw a photo of something than to worry and wonder about it herself. We cannot protect our children from seeing unpleasant things, but in the same way as if she was upset by seeing a picture of an injured animal (such as in anti-vivisection material) you would want her to feel comfortable with speaking to you about it, so you could comfort her, reassure her and put it in context that is understandable to her age and reasoning.

Phew! I didn't know I had such an opinion

Celia, yes please 'admit out loud', support in real life is so very important and apart from those who for whatever reason want you to be a drinker, there is rarely if at all, any judgement, mainly admiration to be so open and honest. I have yet to meet a recovering alcoholic or problem drinker who has not at some point on their journey asked for help and support, so true about secrets Hopefully.

Even more full of boing than normal here, ds has got into Google Summer of Code for the second year on the trot, I am so proud I could burst. Celebration will consist of home-made lemonade and a beef baguette at lunchtime, what a way to start his new term.

Morning, tis me, Mouse

Saf - charging my phone, sorry to read you had a flashback/trigger time yesterday, are you okay sweets? xx

Mia - I second everything venussays about it being great that you've been honest and spoken with DD about what the world we live in has to offer. Not all of it is good and she sounds as though she's the type of person who understands that not everyone/thing is like her IYSWIM??

HELLO!!!!! Great to see you back, I always wonder where in time and space you are Well done on the weight loss!! That's amazing.

BLANKET BLANKET Where are you???? [worried]

Saf - two week? A whole fortnight? WOW!! That's brilliant, it really is. I bet you feel so much clearer, more able, more open?

I'm on my last week of Citalopram (ADs for those who don't know) and I feel so very ready to let go of that particular crutch, I can't even begin to say how pleased I'll be.

I'm still on Amitriptyline for pain (although they do have a AD affect/effect too) but I'd much rather be on 1 AD than 2.

So, the kitchen is almost there!!!! Yipeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee. I've had an omelet (SP?) with mushrooms and bacon, with a sprinkling of cheddar. So tasty and really filling. Long may this new found love of healthier food last.

DH had a bacon and fried egg roll. I had a little wobble and then decided that bread hates my digestive system and we should definitely part company!

Hello to P&S, joey and Ginger, I don't think I've said hi before, sorry if I've missed anyone else new xx

mouse thanks for the welcome

Hi mouse! Seems like you are a lot more positive today, yay for having a kitchen back!

I came off citalopram about 3 years ago and the fuzzy feeling I had went away.

Thanks for saying hello x

joey what's with the little bottles?

mouse - yes i'm fine lovely, don't worry. good luck with the diet. from tomorrow i'm going to be trying to get my eating back under control.

have been and done grocery shopping and bought a few bargain summer clothes items - quite liking nice sort of blouses this year, might be getting a bit girlier in my old age.

i now get to chill out for a while with the peace of knowing i've already got a fair bit done

It's amazing the habits we have re. drinking - Joey buying only little bottles, me only ever buying wine in threes and that sort of thing.

I went to Iceland yesterday to buy some tramp's booze cheap Argentinian plonk and I am so annoyed with myself. I drank some last night - did my usual drinking half a bottle out of two bottles... Arrggghhh.

saf I find that I can eat much more healthily if I start the day with something healthy. So if I start the day with a glass of V8 juice and an omlette I am much more likely to follow on with healthy eating during the rest of the day - it is if I have made a pact with myself.

If I miss breakfast and grab a marsbar halfway through the morning then I'm already on a bad roll, so I seem to continue.