The Brave Babes Battle Bus - Staying Springy In Their Quest For Sobriety.

[Mouseface]

Hello, I'm Mouse I have an shockingly abusive relationship with alcohol, mainly vodka.

This Bus is full of drinkers, non-drinkers, thinkers and Babes, all trying to find their way to a happy, sober life.

Some are there, some are almost there and some are not. It really doesn't matter, we're all in this together.

Why not find a seat? Everyone is welcome, drinking or drunk, come and say hello.

HERE is the previous thread, with a link to all of the other wonderful journeys so far............

Feelingstuck welcome.

Might I recommend reading 'Kick the Drink...Easily' by Jason Vale, it might give you the push, it helped a few of us.

< grabs Mouse and smothers her in cheese >

Oh no you don't lady, back on this bus with you (or at least in the sidecar for now). You and JWN are as bad as each other. You set up this wonderful, supportive place for us to come when we are struggling and then you don't bloomin' well use it yourselves!! Tut, tut . . .

So sorry life is crappy at the moment, must be hell living in pain (and I can empathise with the tmi's at the mo). It seems that all the things you're normally juggling are coming crashing down on you all at once . But we are here for you.

Don't worry about the rest of us, we are rollercoasting along as usual. Lovely Mouse, you give so much, maybe it's time to take a little for yourself ((()))

And mwahs to gorgeous Nemo x

< leaves trail of cheesy wotsits . . . >

Feelingstuck welcome to the bus and well done for posting.

We can help you stay off the booze. AA will help you enormously. I don't go myself but others here do. It has been suggested before that you contact AA by phone and they may well be able to arrange for someone to meet you outside and go in with you.

morning! no boing whatever, i have monumental toothache and am off for an emergency appointment in a mo, thank the fucking fuck that i dont have a hangover as well, i think i would kill myself! am pissed off feeling like shit!

welcome feelingstuck, phone the AA helpline and someone will arrange to meet you outside the meeting and hold your hand! i promise you that no one minds doing this, its part of recovery in AA to reach out and help other alcoholics - btw, you have taken a massive first step, be very proud of yourself!

just a quick shout to bafana!! i love you too!! just knowing that we have long-term sober babes gives me such a boost, especially when im struggling, i feel you all on my shoulder urging me on! thank you!!

mousy mouse!! awwww it sounds shitty my love! have a bear (((((((((((((((((((((((((((hug))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))

back later babes, hopefully sans wisdom tooth!

Thankyou, I've just downloaded the Jason Vale book onto my phone, I have to go out now but will spend this evening reading it xx

Hi Feeling and welcome xx

Fizzy I fell off the bus on Thursday and Friday too, now am back for a bit.

Mouse sending you huge cheesy hugs, sounds like you're having a torrid time of things. xx

Ginger I had a stinking hangover feeling for the first few days of not drinking - mainly a thumping headache. I think it's just the body readjusting. Crack on - you'll start to feel the benefits soon, I promise.

If I'm being totally honest, I feel as though I don't fit in here anymore because I am such a negative Babe right now, I don't want to bring the Bus down.

Now mouse you must stop that nonsense immediately! The reason I climbed aboard this bus was because people were on here talking about how crap they were feeling and being honest about the negative stuff. I never would have posted if it had all been sweetness and light and success stories, because that wouldn't have felt relevant to what I was experiencing and I wouldn't have been able to visualise getting to that point. It was the honesty here that did it for me. If people felt that they couldn't post all the dark and shitty nasty stuff that makes them reach for the bottle, then this bus wouldn't be much use at all, frankly.

JWN you sound ever so run down at the mo. Hope they make your tooth better - it's one of the most horrible kinds of pain, isn't it.

don't you DARE even think it lady!!! You ARE the bus, you are our inspiration and you NEVER EVER think you don't belong here. Got it???
There is no rule that says you and jwn and venus etc can't have off days and have to be saints all the time. The Babes are strong as a team and we are strong enough to carry the wobblers for a while.

I have been out for a wee run, had a bath, made a banan loaf, marinaded the pork for dinner and am now about to tackle the dishes, the ironing and plant out the peas. I am keeping busy to prevent murder in this house....

ginger bloody well done. The first few days are crap and you will feel completely cheated, but stick with it. the boing is one day nearer.

sorry it's so tough mouse - you know where i am - any time of day or night call me if you want to talk x and you're always welcome to come here if you need to get away.

jwn - ouch ouch ouch! toothache is the worst, thank goodness you managed to get an emergency appointment - hope it goes well.

hi to everyone else

football done and dusted - peed about by sister being late and making me wait around for her but she has redeemed herself mightily by taking ds with her and the kids and will take them with her to my mum's for dinner this afternoon. i can go to the meeting this afternoon now. overheard them talking about ds at football saying he is a natural talent he is the youngest by far and probably won't be ready to do matches when they start up soon but the coach made a big point of saying he wants ds there every week and when it's matches he can help the coach and hang out with him etc because then he'll be a real part of the club by the time he's old enough for the league matches and stuff. all good.

about to have some lunch and then have a nice bath before heading out i think.

i've had a really good weekend. i've actually had a really good 12 days - funny that, wonder why?

Oh wow, guys! I just found my new theme tune! Listen to the lyrics of This!

Now that's a rousing theme tune ginger - great defiant lyrics.

Ooh I'm getting towards the end of my painting tether now - I'm bloody knackered and sore. DD's dad has agreed to go and pick DD up tomorrow (as long as I pay his petrol money ), so that gives me another day to get everything ready for her and hopefully do her bedroom too.

I must confess that I'm feeling sorely tempted by the thought of wine today. I'm really aching and my energy is flagging and I'm desperate for a pick me up to give me a boost to finish all this.

Not a good idea, is it.

hello everybody! it sounds like there are a few people struggling (because its the weekend? or is it this weather?)

Whatever the reason I hope you all keep checking in here, because its very supportive and it doesn't matter whether you're on the bus, running to catch it, have fallen off, or whatever it is just so nice to know others are going through the same thing.

Well Friday I was still not feeling well, so no drinking (although there was a voice in my head going 'what a waste of a Friday!')

Yesterday we were at my in-laws. So I made some plans.

1. No drinking until we were at the table eating. No 'little' sherries or g&t's.
2. Every time I finished a glass of wine, I had to drink a glass of water before pouring another glass of wine. (very hard to do; am paranoid MIL will finish the wine and thats so NOT FAIR because she can go on to whisky & I don't drink spirits)
3. No 'final' drink after everyone else has gone to bed

I think it worked out pretty well, most goals were achieved. However I've done this before - usually I'm good for a few weeks, and then something starts to slide. That's probably the hardest part - knowing it never really becomes a habit and I have to KEEP working at it.

Or maybe it will become a habit eventually I just haven't worked at it long enough yet.

SAF

I only can only speak for myself on the 'why not just keep up the sobriety?' question.

I gave myself two and a half weeks because, on a whim, I said I was not going to drink from Easter til a family wedding next Friday. I wanted a nice clean break before cutting down considerably in a way that I have thought about and think I can achieve.

It's been great. I go two or three days without drinking most weeks so it's not a massive jump but getting used to sober Fri's and Sat's has been the biggest eye opener - the world doesn't end if you don't drink on the weekend. Who knew?!!

But for me, personally, I do not think I am an alcoholic. I don't feel addicted. I have not craved a drink in the last 2 weeks even though last night and today I feel a hell of a less boingy. I am not under any illusion that I have a drink problem - because I drink 40 units a week, because I feel worried about it.

If I am eating (drinking?) my words in a month's time I promise to be honest about that on here.

alias I understand exactly what you are doing, and Well Done, I think that those are an excellent set of rules for anyone trying to control their drinking in a social situation. But I can't help thinking - god, what hard work! Is that how it felt? (including your worry about your MIL drinking the wine while you gulped your water). I'm not sure I'd manage to make a habit of something that is so darn difficult. It's like having to run 3 times round the block before you go to bed - sooner or later I'd go twice round, then just once, then just forget it altogether. tbh I find it easier and simpler, and a lot less tiring not to bother drinking. And that is a habit that I can keep.

proud what you posted is one of the things that I find so great about being on here - that we all are in different places, yet the tactic and support that work for the most hardened alcoholic (if they call themselves that) might also work for someone with an unhealthy habit. In the words of the old man MIFLAW - the person who is longest sober today is the person who got up first in the morning. There's no hierarchy of 'I was more of an alcoholic than you were' or ' I've been sober more days than you'. The first sober week for all of us was the same kind of difficult week - different patterns of behaviour, spotlight shining on our feelings etc. I guess what I truly hope is that by changing your drinking patterns now, and by having some insight into how difficult it can become if you don't change your habits, that you will have truloy regained control. Yeah. Yeah.

mouseymouse you know that this place is not just for the 'good girls'. If you feel like it you can post here with anything. If you're feeling so crap that posting is just another responsibility that you can't face, then yes, rest and hide away and let others take care of you. But if you're hiding away because you're in a bad place then creep back on and let us stroke your fur gently while you slumber, let us wipe the tears from your sleepy eyes, and let us hold you gently as you howl out the pain.

btw way proud my ''Yeah Yeah" in my previous post was intended to be encouraging and uplifting, but when I read it, it sounds sarcastic - oops

do the drinks help isinde? i find they really help a sore throat and stuffy head. bless dd, glad you're tucked up in bed now and 'allowed' to be ill

wish you the best of luck proudnscary and really hope you can change your drinking habits and be happy with it. all i would say is i don't feel 'addicted' either. i don't actually think (except in very extreme cases where the body is totally toxic from massive volumes) alcoholism is about addiction. it seems to be as much a mental condition as a physical one - as in something about the drinker rather than the drink. sorry thinking out loud on this one as i'm learning a lot and trying to work it out at the minute

meeting was alright, not one i'd be fussed about getting to weekly but glad i went. think the wednesday night one feels most like home so that's the one i'll always get to. others are a bonus. that reminds me to ask around about babysitters at school tomorrow!

hope everyone has had a good day - i've had a lovely one. it has been a busy weekend and ds has had a lovely time and i've been in a good mood throughout so it's all good here. day 12 done - today has been jam donuts and there is icecream for tonight [need a 'bigfatblob' emoticon]

jwn how's the tooth?

Evening, tis me Mouse

I am dreading tomorrow with the confrontation with the builder but the more I think about it, the more I realise that actually, this is all well overdue.

He has taken the piss and abused my good nature. I have empathised with him about his partner just giving birth and even bought the baby a present. I have forgiven so much, too much.

I am a sap and a soft touch.

Anyway, I'm here to thank you all for your kind words and offers - Saf, I might just take you up on that offer..........

You know that feeling, when you sit, and kind of zone out, kind of look ahead of yourself, see another part of yourself, imagine that you are somewhere/one else, just for a moment?

Stronger, wiser, bolder and brighter? That's the real me, the real mouse but just now, I have no fight left which is why I'm dreading tomorrow.

Sorry, more me me me posts.

I'm taking a glass of wine to watch Vera on ITV and then bed once Nemo has finished his last feed. He asked for 'dimmer' tonight and 'more fooowd'. I gave him the same as us, roast chicken dinner. He licked lots of it and then said 'aw gown'

I love how he develops each day, every tiny step, quirk, smile, giggle, look, every thought he has. He is my reason for staying. And DD. And DH.

My family are the reason I am going to make sure that my house, my home, our home is as it should be.

I will be back, but I'm going to be on one of the back seats, snuggled in one of venus's blankets, eating cheese from those who threw it, and feeling no pain thanks to those willing to soothe it all away.

I hope, with all my heart that the GP can give me something, ANYTHING to ease this pain.

I'm staying on this Bus to prove to myself that life does not revolve around those who abuse my good nature (big head) or try to cut corners.

I'm staying because I need you all. I need you all to say 'it's okay' for me to be a bit drunk, upset, angry or confused.

Night night all xxxxxxxxxxx

PS - so so sorry to ignore you all.

Mwahs to those who are struggling or in pain xx

Hello all.. just marking my place on day 2 after my 3 small glasses of wine and pints of ginger beer on Friday .. I haven't felt it was a failure as I was starting to stress a bit about whether I would be able to drink moderately this Friday when i am going out .. now i know i can .. not drinking til then though

being in control has made such a difference this past fortnight .. I feel so much happier after a really shitty start to 2012