The Brave Babes Battle Bus - Staying Springy In Their Quest For Sobriety.

[Mouseface]

Hello, I'm Mouse I have an shockingly abusive relationship with alcohol, mainly vodka.

This Bus is full of drinkers, non-drinkers, thinkers and Babes, all trying to find their way to a happy, sober life.

Some are there, some are almost there and some are not. It really doesn't matter, we're all in this together.

Why not find a seat? Everyone is welcome, drinking or drunk, come and say hello.

HERE is the previous thread, with a link to all of the other wonderful journeys so far............

Ewww @ 'going forward' - sorry!

Agreed.
After todays comment about having a drink tomorrow because he has just run a marathon - I thinking that he thinks its just a fad. Another fad. I can and am a bit faddy. Try to diet. Fail. Try to work out. Fail. Try to give up drinking. Fail.

Im on day 8 and chuffed to bits. I feel totally different and I know I dont want to drink. I just dont like it. I see it as poison! Still - its working for me.

MrB gave up smoking (Im was a bit part smoking) but I supported him and havent smoked in a year.

Im bloody cross actually.

We cannot continue to drink like we have done in the past. It makes our life so much harder.

I guess we have to have a very loud full and frank conversation.

Maybe I need to let him see what Ive been writing on here from my first post...?

Im sure somewhere we have to do this for ourselves.... but Im not strong enough. ?????? Thats what Im thinking.

Well - thats what Im worried about.

Your right Proud. One day and one situation at a time....

x

(Im was a bit part smoking) = Im a bit part smoker as in a part time smoker maybe 1 or 2 fags a week!

??

Evening! I am grabbing the swot's seat at the front tonight. I am here and I am completely SOBER! The only booze I have seen tonight is the splash of red that went in the home made burgers.

I won't lie, DD has been a pain in the proverbial tonight and I have thought about wine a LOT!

I hope my brain retrains itself to sleep instead of pass out quite quickly because I like my sleep and will struggle with insomnia.

Enjoy your Saturday evening all! x

Bit of lavender oil Ginger. It really does work!

Well bloody done darling. :o)

xxxxxx

Yep, that is honestly all we can do. It's like the drinking - or not drinking - itself. One day at a time, trying not to jump too far ahead or it becomes too daunting.

Until tonight, these last couple of weeks have been fine. My dh has been drinking throughout but not nearly as much, which I do appreciate.

He has, by his standards, improved on his drinking over past year. But he still lives in what I call Mr Proud world - where he is invincible, where drinking a bottle of wine is 'just 2 or 3 glasses'/'it's the weekend - chill out'/ 'we'll be good next week' etc etc. Tonight he was noticeably pissed and that's I think what did it for me (and we have to get up early).

We can't expect them to get to where we are with this. They have to get their by themselves. Although I've cut down before - successfully and unsuccessfully - this is the first time I really mean a big change for life.

I too put on and lose weight btw and am always saying I must exercise more but it only lasts a short while. But again, this is totally different. This is something I can't and won't do anymore because I have two children who need me and I don't want to keel over of a stroke or liver damage before my time. Simple as that.

^sorry guys that was to Blanket

no offence taken blanket and no, he wouldn't even consider it becuase he knows everything and is always right.
Have endured the silent TV watching from either end of the sofa and am going to bed.
What's the bets he'll want sex?????

Well he DOESNT know everything Ma. None of us do. So he has already go that one wrong...!
He needs a kick up the back bloody side if he making life at home fecking fecking harder work than it needs to be.

He could at least pretend to care?
Why is he like this? Why?

Sorry.

Im sorry.

Bproud I remember you celebrating 12 months sober here and it doesnt seem that long ago. Has it been another 6 months already! Wow, that has flown by, well done

Isinde, Mouse, Thurso. Silver, MsGee (and other 'oldies' who haven't posted for a while) hope you're all safe, well and looking after yourselves x

Ma ((())) Are you still off the booze? How's the training going? I managed a bit more zumba today, only 30 mins but can still feel it in my abs. Am starting to master some of the more basic moves now and looking less like a chicken with a hip replacement

Just a quick night night to you all, as tired and tucked up in bed with the ipad.

Had a glass of white before dinner, then a glass of red with dinner which DP refilled afterwards. Like last night, I nursed that taking tiny sips for an hour or so until I'd had enough of the taste, and poured my remaining half glass into DP's.

If I could continue drinking like that at the weekends, and not drink during the week, I'd be a very very happy bunny indeed. Time will tell whether I can, I guess, or whether it creeps up again over time.

The absolute key thing for me is having a snack around 4.30pm, so that I'm not hungry when the witching hour approaches. If I can resist that lure of the white in the fridge then I'm way more than half way there each day, and the only way I can do that is to eat and replenish my jugs.

Sleep well all you brave babes.

at chicken with a hip replacement

Faire you called?

I am fine. Four weeks sober.

All ok here, work is just so busy and I am exhausted. But it's good. May lost another client this week, so making hay whilst the sun shines and all that. I'll sleep next month.

Hope everyone is doing ok. Bafana and Bproud you are amazing. You really are. Ma (((( ))))

Today I will not be drinking.

blanket - hope this doesn't annoy you but the way to show something isn't a fad is to keep it up. if you feel better, if you see you have a problem, if you see you can not drink why drink again? sorry to sound harsh but if you start drinking again then i think it's quite likely he will see it as a fad. i don't know that it does need a huge discussion and him to see it your way - i suspect it just needs you to continue not drinking. people believe what we do more than what we say and i know those babes who had been drinking a long time and never addressing it found it took quite a while to win back their families trust and respect and for them to really believe the non-drinking person was not going to just go back to their old ways.

i would ask the same of all the babes who are saying similar actually - the i'm not drinking, i feel good about it, i can see i have a problem oh but i'm going to start again on x date. why start again? not saying you shouldn't or it's easy just genuinely asking why? what's the logic or reasoning behind it? i think it's probably good to know there's not much logic in it even if you're going to do it anyway - we need to be honest with ourselves in this battle.

i'm not judging by the way - i've had so many goes on this merry go round so i am not in a position to judge anyone believe me!

msgee - well done on 4 weeks that is brilliant! you're way ahead of me, leave me breadcrumbs along the way please

my sister who has ignored me for ages has decreed she is coming with us to football to catch up. trying to ignore my cynical brain saying, 'i wonder what she's after for us to suddenly exist again' it will be nice to see her!

now have to scurry around wondering where i've put ds's tracksuit bottoms - must get more organised!

day 12 here and will be the first time i've had to be around people drinking if i go to lunch at my mum's. hoping that they'll be happy with ds going and me not and i'll go to a meeting instead of sitting watching the red wine sat on the table staring at me.

oh and given the sun is shining there will be aperitifs in the garden to say no to too. because of course sunshine is a cue for more alcohol

saf it's like hitting the destruct button. Your post asked exactly what I ask myself - I manage to get some sort of control. feel better, look better. feel positive......hit the destruct button and start drinking again. is it becuase I can't handle me feeling good and being positive? Out of my comfort zone?
Its easy to slide back into the default mode of being a miserable drunk. Wish I had all the answers though.
blanket a long back story with me and DH. one of the reasons I drink I suppose. thanks for the concern and don't worry about causing offence - you wont.

Morning all. Not a drop passed my lips yesterday....so why do I feel like I was on an all day sesh this morning?

I did not sleep at all last night. Was a horrible sweaty night, with the dog snoring and farting one side and DH the other.

DD woke up at 0400 needing a wee, dog wanted out, dog wanted feeding at 0600, DD wanted feeding at 0700......

DD has a party to go to at 11 in my idea of hell, a soft play centre.

Hope you all have better days then me! x

Ah Ginger don't worry, keep at it and you will be boinging around the bus in no time . Hope you manage to catch up on some sleep this afternoon x

Saf that's an interesting question isn't it. I honestly don't know why I still drink because I do know that I love not drinking. I remember in the past meeting people who don't drink and when I ask why they said they didn't like it. I could never understand that then. Now I do. Hmm, will have to ponder that one a bit more.

Hope the sun stays out for your football. Great idea to get to a meeting instead of going to family. Are you going to tell them you've stopped, will they be supportive do you think?

MsGee so great to hear from you and, four weeks, whoop, whoop!

Morning lovely Babes.

Blanket and Proud I've recently posted about my DH drinking. It's not easy to live with, I hope you're both okay.

Mouse thinking of you and Nemo, hope you're doing well.

Well done Ginger, I hate sober hangover days too!

Morning, tis me Mouse

I'm just going to post this and then go off for breakfast, no editing so sorry for any typos.

I'm so sorry for my absence and you all worrying about me . RL is so close to being unbearable right now that I have to focus most of my energy in just getting out of bed and talking myself into starting the day.

In short the builder has fucked up monumentally and we have to deal with it all so carefully as we can't afford to repair the damage he's caused. He will be here tomorrow, unaware of what we have to say. He has to repair and replace what he's done.............

I am so distraught with it all and so upset. Whilst I appreciate 'it's only a kitchen' it's my kitchen and a room that we have waited 3.5 years to do, in our own way, with simple things like a sink with a draining board, taps on the sink, a non leaking sink at that. Little things.

Pathetic in the grand scheme of life.............. but important little things that are building up.

I also have the period from hell, 20 days late so horrid and clumpy (TMI,sorry) which is keeping me sofa bound.

My pain is still as bad as ever and I'm back at the GP tomorrow for a review of meds.

Nemo is utterly gorgeous, he calls me 'mummy bear' and my heart just melts. It's been him, DD and DH that have kept me going because quite frankly, I could just get in the car and go. Far, far away. Just get in and drive until I stop.

I can't compete (not the correct word, I know) with all of the success stories on here.

If I'm being totally honest, I feel as though I don't fit in here anymore because I am such a negative Babe right now, I don't want to bring the Bus down.

There are so many fantastic Babes , all doing so so well, which is wonderful to see, I'm ous of you all. I know I can't be one of those Babes just now. I don't even want to stop or not drink at the moment. I feel as though I'm letting you all down too.

My head is such a mess.

Thank you all so much for the PMs and text messages, you are all so super lovely for caring. xx

I just need to get my head into a positive place and take hold of my emotions again.

Every tiny thing has built up and up and up........ I'm close to breaking point but still lurking when I can.

I feel so proud to know you all, the success of those not drinking, who have stopped for a certain amount of time and will drink on other days, those who have kicked the wobbles into touch................

You are all just so super fab. Keep going! XX

Hey Babes. Happy Sunday. No hangover here, but there was yesterday I fell off the bus on both Thurs and Friday.

Thursday in a minor way after a political event at the pub, 2 glasses of wine and a pint followed by a diet coke, Friday massively on a girls' night out where I had decided I wasn't going to drink but couldn't do it. Not only did I drink, but I drank more than everyone else like a total tit.

Ginger softplay - how horrible! Do you have to stay or can you take yourself off for a coffee somewhere?

Mrs Gee - wow! 4 weeks. I had managed 10 days - was on day 10, actually. Now I am on day 2 :(

:( Mouse

You belong on this bus, dammit. You have helped us all. In fact, you are the bus.

I'm sorry about housing works and pain. I'm proud of you for not succumbing to drinking to help you through it. The building works will be sorted eventually, you know that. Love to you and Nemo too

Mouse Sounds like you are having such a tough time right now. Will be thinking about you xx

Sorry for all your hassles Mouse, it can only get sorted and get better!

I don't yet know if I can leave DD at the soft play and go somewhere quiet or not, it's my idea of purgatory on a good day!

Hello everyone, I need and want to go AA, I've read the website (more than once), I've looked up the meeting I want to go to, I've been on google maps so I know exactly where it is, it's only 4 miles away, the first one I can attend will be Tuesday afternoon,
But bloody hell I'm scared, scared of admitting I can't stop drinking, scared of trying to stop, scared of facing the reasons I drink, scared of not being able to blott thing out,
I am single and live alone, I work away from home week on/week off, I like my job but it's like living two lives so it's easy to hide my drinking and nobody knows I drink like I do
I don't know what I'm asking for really, just some encouragement to take the next step to quitting