The Brave Babes Battle Bus - Staying Springy In Their Quest For Sobriety.

[Mouseface]

Hello, I'm Mouse I have an shockingly abusive relationship with alcohol, mainly vodka.

This Bus is full of drinkers, non-drinkers, thinkers and Babes, all trying to find their way to a happy, sober life.

Some are there, some are almost there and some are not. It really doesn't matter, we're all in this together.

Why not find a seat? Everyone is welcome, drinking or drunk, come and say hello.

HERE is the previous thread, with a link to all of the other wonderful journeys so far............

noone likes my delicious but healthy muffin recipe

Wow Bproud 18 months sober! That really is something to bproud of.

Where are you in your cycle chasing? Could it be a PMSy feeling? Hope you're not sickening for something too.

sunny of course it's your business; you love him and he's your DH. But of course only he can make the decision to stop or reduce his drinking. The time has to be right, doesn't it. Do you think that seeing you cut down and feel better for it might inspire him?

grey I've never done that again. Probably been a bit over the limit on a few occasions but I've never driven really drunk like that again (10 years ago). It still makes me cringe with shame and disgust to think of it.

island well you managed to subconsciously make the decision about tonight for yourself, didn't you. At least now you'll do a social occasion without alcohol and hopefully see that you can still enjoy it and have a good time while sober. I hope your hangover's abated enough by tonight for you not to feel shit still.

bafana a 5 mile run would kill me, I think. I'm not sure I could manage 50 metres. I did get a GP referral to the gym last autumn (back problems) and I really enjoyed doing the weights. 10 mins on the bike was the maximum I could manage (for the boredom factor too) and that was only with banging nu-metal music on my ipod egging me on.

big hands up from me Mia on the muffin front!!!!

They sound yum as did your Butter chicken recipe. Am determined to get baking once DD is back at nursery.

Did I tell you all enough times she doesn't back til next Wednesday!!!. . Am hallucinating about all the time I will have to myself once she's back

BProud, 18 months is huge! Do you feel free? Do you ever crave a drink?
Well done

Bproud so very very proud of you!!

Just behind you too . 17 months on Tuesday! Wow, I remember thinking how very very far in front you and JWN were of me, you a month and JWN - 6 whole scary months, and how could anybody stop for that long, and wouldn't life be just awful, and what would happen at Christmas, and on my birthday, and when I wanted to go out with friends, and what about....... the list was endless.

You and JWN inspired me then, and you inspire me now. Your quiet determination, your inner peace and your calm soothing words when I felt wobbly.

And life has got better, and just keeps getting better.
xx

Thanks chasing

thanks everyone for your messages of support, do u know what? I haven't a clue if I am aiming for sobriety or controlled drinking, not sure I'm able to control once I get the taste u see, but sobriety seems impossible to do.

On the funny side I rang my friend to moan about hangover and arrange details of tonight and she has been throwing up all morning (she throws up the morning after drinking regularly btw) and apparently she drank too much last night and feels wretched! So I won't have to worry about her ordering a bottle of wine because she'll no doubt be on soft drinks also! Funny how things turn out really, she doesn't drink much so she'll be a state. Our lucky husbands tonight eh?!? They'll be full of beans and we'll be ashen faced, tired shells of our usual selves

Yet we keep doing this to ourselves Island!

In Tesco now and have filled my trolley with soft drinks. Definitely needing to reset the indicators!

Hi all

Island I hope you're feeling better, I lurch from wanting to 'control' then 'stop' drinking. Tonight I'm not drinking.

Ginger I've just stocked up on posh squash for tonight. :)

Thanks Babes for all of your kind words. DH saw me looking up properties and was upset, and we've had a chat about it. He's not drinking tonight.

just checking in. having a bit of a crap weekend. knew I would as DH is home all weekend and we are skint. Great combo
mouse are you ok?

Hi Bafana great to see you still going strong, my partner along the way.

Chasingtail I can only echo bafana in telling you my life has changed immeasurably, not in an external way, because I am lucky with my family, my work, my friends; but in how I feel inside.
I was depressed, miserable, full of self doubt and self loathing, I felt ill all of the time because I was poisoning myself every day, relentlessly, with alcohol.

I got the BOING after a few days and then continued day by day, I started to feel proud of myself, so I changed my MN name to reflect that, my DH and DC started to feel confident in my intentions, I came to terms with myself, and my past and the depression lifted. Now I LIKE myself and I am HAPPY.

Not everything in my life is springtime and lollipops of course, but I can deal with what comes along, knowing that I am doing my best and using reasoned, not drunken responses to life's crises.

Honestly Babes, if I can do it, you can too, one day at a time, step by step, with the support of the BBs bus.

hi Ma, you have been doing so well, I'm still stalking you

Can you get out for a long walk or a run? Go look at bluebells and lambs somewhere, get out of the house for a while.

Hi all, got past witching hour and am currently sipping a lime and tonic whilst cooking..so far so good. I can't remember the last time I had an alcohol free evening.

Will probably keep popping back for some hand holding, thanks everybody, I WILL do this, despite DD pushing my buttons!

Congratulations Bproud . What an amazing achievement, you are an inspiration, truly. You too, Bafana. Big high fives to you both . It's great to see so many positive posts, and such support. And I saw your boing the other day, Ma, and was chuffed to bits for you. Hang on in there.

Hope everyone's doing OK. Despite seeming to lunge from one drama to another at the moment, my drinking's not too bad. Without lurking here I am convinced I'd be reliant on wine to be solving all my problems (yeah right...). When things have calmed down a bit I'll be back focusing on me and my drinking. I can hardly wait .

Oh and those muffins look fab Mia . Maybe do some baking involving cheese and see if you can tempt the lovely Mouse onto the bus...

Have good evenings everyone x

Feeling a lot happier .. i was quite worried.if i could drink in moderationn which is my aim .. however last night i did that and i am not tempted to drink tonight just in the house with my DD

Still feel boingy and in control

You have all been an inspiration.. Thank you all!!

xxx

ginger well done. You can do this tonight, I feel it in my wine water!
Dh pissing me off big time, you could cut the atmosphere in here with a knife. he is so fucking negative and confrontational ALL the time.For example, we have had ongoing battles with the DDs not helping enough around the house and not tidying up after themselves. Fair enough. Today DD1 voluntarily did some ironing .( We have just bought a swanky new iron which she was trying out!) When I had picked myself off the floor I said "thanks for doing that DD,i appreciate it." His comment? "yeah, maybe if we buy a new washing up bowl you'll start doing your dishes too!", said in a really mean, sarky tone. I swear he is permanently spoiling for a fight...he's going to get one too!!!!

ma just think how much calmer and better equipped to deal with him you'll be without the alcohol and permahangover.

silly I know mouse is out there because she's sent me some lovely supportive emails at my low points. I will try to tempt her back here with cheesy delights because it's clear that everyone is missing her and worrying about her.

Going well here. I'm happily sitting in the sidecar again, having reserved my place from yesterday with cuddly cashmere blanket, in manner of stereotypical german-tourist-and-the-towel-on-the-sun-lounger.

Hard day grafting on the loft so my back's killing me, but I don't mind so much because I feel like I really achieved something physical and tangible. Not like my normal weekend day of sitting nursing a mild hangover until the afternoon, then a dog walk and kill time until it's time to start drinking.

evening all

bproud and bafana you are fabulous - so well done to you both. i am inspired.

day 11 here. wrangling around in my head to try and find a way to go to a meeting tomorrow afternoon as they definitely do me so much good. think i might have a plan.

no temptation to drink but i am going to have to set a time limit on my eating alcoholically to get through not drinking. i've given myself till wednesday to eat what i like at which point it will be two weeks since i stopped drinking and i'll have quite a few meetings under my belt. i am going to try not to do the typical alcoholic too much too soon one extreme to the other thing and just try and cut back on the chocolate and ice cream and do more exercise rather than go into extreme diet mode.

if it makes me too tempted to drink i'll have to scrap it. much as i hate to put on weight i have to face that my sobriety is more important than staying in my skinny jeans.

have kept relatively busy today and there's plenty on for tomorrow starting with football practice in the morning - please, please don't let it be raining.

i have got 'the help' to watch this evening, as inspired by the BBs and i'm drinking water.

hope everyone is ok - love to mouse in case you're lurking x

bproud and bafana - well done both

To anyone new0ish who thinks that they'll never get to where these 2 have, then have a read of what it was like for any one of us in the early days. Just the same as where you might be now. But little by little, day by day, habits have changed. And some of the best encouragement I get is still from people who are new-ish on this track - so thank you all.

Arrrrggghhh - lost me boing. Not interested in drinking but pissed off that my dh is drunk.

He's been largely supportive, but was out all pm boozing (sports event) then came home and has downed a bottle of red. Was bit slurry round the kids. Lovely, affectionate, chatty - but slurry.

Can't work out if I am projecting - whether I feel resentful, or worried about how this will all pan out because he drinks a lot, whether I am just grumpy, whether I am right to be annoyed.

My main concern about all this has always been the changing dynamic with my dh - will I feel simmering anger every other time he has a drink?

Sigh

Venus - all this aside, I agree and I can totally imagine a sober life now, it's been fine...great even.

SAF - I have eaten my body weight in choc too. I don't know what to say other than I think for the time being it is the better option (and anyway at your skinny jeans. I look bloody awful in them).

Island hope your evening goes how you want it to go and you have a blast.
Ginger - hope all is well and your rocking sobriety!
Kirsty youre doing bleeding brilliant. Im happy for you. :)
Ma - your hub needs to go on a parenting teenages course. They do them. Ive just been on one for toddlers and it was really helpful. Do you think hed do that for you? For them? For himself?

Saf you really are amazing. Seriously. Amazing!
Mia - I cant wait to hear how your daughter reacts to the loft. She is going to be so chuffed....:o)
bproud, bafana and venus - >. I hope and pray I end up on here like you girls.... :)

As for me. MrBlanket is running the marathon. So I will legging it round London to try and catch a glimpse of him.

He has just asked if we (i.e. me) will be drinking tomorrow night. In celebration of his achievements.... I feel a marital wobble coming on.

Im now thinking the reason he has been so 'supportive' the last week because he is not drinking himself because he is in 'training'?

He drank and smoked all through both pregnancies for which I still harbour a grudge. I felt sick every time I smelled him. Bad wine and fag breath every night in bed.... Gah!

And I think we are - what is it called - - co dependent? What is the phrase? He is as bad as I am... Co something?

Im a bit scared bascially.

If he goes back to boozing like I/we used to booze. Im really going to struggle.

Anyway BBs. I can smell the cheesy delights so hopefully Mouse (and Silver) will come and have a nibble...

x

Ma - not saying your hub needs to go on a parenting course....

I just wanted to suggest it... as in its sooo hard raising kids IMO and going on a course is quite uplifting and some really useful tips for me came out of it.

I gathered from our course instructor that their teenage parenting courses were the most popular.

Hope I didnt offend.

x

Blanket - I totally know what you mean (see my post above yours) and yes my dh, ahem, struggled to abstain or support v much during pregnancies!

Great re marathon though!!

Proud - I just read your post and thought oooohhh. Sort of great as in hopefully we can figure out what to do.
Ive been as honest as I can with MrB and told him I have a problem and that I cant drink just one and that Id like to stop drinking.
I think he has just been nodding and not listening.

When I told MrB that I was in labour (midnight) - he rolled over and said that he should probably get a bit of sleep then....

I laboured alone for 7 hours....

If he lets me down on this... I dont know what I will feel.

:(

It is my deepest fear, too, Blanket.

I'm not sure what the answer is other than to keep on keeping on and take each day and situation as it arises.

I sooo know what you mean about the nodding along and not really listening. Though he has, I think, began to really hear me more in recent times.

I have not had a drink for 12 days and won't til next Fri (a wedding). That was always my plan and I am not afraid of having a drink. I am however afraid of him thinking 'phew those 18 days are over, back to normal' whereas I know I mean business. I am not going back to my old habits. No way. How will this all work going foward?