The Brave Babes Battle Bus - Staying Springy In Their Quest For Sobriety.

[Mouseface]

Hello, I'm Mouse I have an shockingly abusive relationship with alcohol, mainly vodka.

This Bus is full of drinkers, non-drinkers, thinkers and Babes, all trying to find their way to a happy, sober life.

Some are there, some are almost there and some are not. It really doesn't matter, we're all in this together.

Why not find a seat? Everyone is welcome, drinking or drunk, come and say hello.

HERE is the previous thread, with a link to all of the other wonderful journeys so far............

chasing I read ages ago that the author of The Help was being sued by her SIL's (i think) maid who had a remarkably similar life story and felt that this woman had ripped off her life story without giving her any credit. Don't know how true it was but the author had known the maid for many years and there were lots of similarities.

Day of loft toil ahead today. Feeling fine and getting excited at the thought of DD's face when she comes back and sees the box-stuffed loft transformed into a chillax space for her and her friends, done in her 'aquarian colours' (my DM has done a jolly good job in filling her head full of astrology - shame I can't get her as enthusiastic about real science... ).

Happy Saturday Brave Babes, hope you're all feeling the Boing today.

oh i didn't realise there was a film of it now chasing - i loved the book.

morning everyone

day 11 here. ds has a playdate this afternoon and i think this morning will be a lazy round the house one with a bit of pottery housework.

going to try and see if ds can go to my parents for a couple of hours tomorrow afternoon so i can get to a meeting on in town. which reminds me that i really need to see about finding a babysitter - looks like lifts home are sorted now i've been a few times - people coming out of the woodwork to say they live near me and would be happy to take me home so if i can find a babysitter it would be affordable/doable to have one night a week that parents have ds and one with a babysitter.

not sure how one finds a babysitter mind.

Hello all, I have missed the Brave Babes. You're all amazing and I am so glad you are here. So glad that I am not alone with this demonic habit of mine.

The Help is an amazing film. I loved it.

I have to go back to the addiction clinic on Friday 27th. At which point they are going to give a prescription for something to ease the withdrawal symptoms and this Antabuse stuff. Antabuse sounds good because it's a pill you only take once every seven days. So I won't be able to go through the temptation of knocking off a day of the pill so I can have a sneaky drink.

I do know though, that the Antabuse is only there to give me a breathing space to get me used to life without drinking. I can't go back to drinking after the 3 months or so on Antabuse is over. I still have to cure myself.

The addiction clinic did establish by the way that I have very high blood pressure. This is common among drinkers, apparently. Perhaps worth getting blood pressure checked out?

Best of luck, Ginger. We all know how hard it is to give up this evil drink.

I drank last night and will tonight. Tomorrow? Hmmm - we'll see.

I don't feel ready to give wine up completely. If I can be sober during the week... well, that's a vast improvement.

Mia We've all done awful things through drink. A friend of mine has had her licence taken away at least twice. I don't think she actually has a licence now but, despite being drunk most of the time, still drives. Her friends have taken away her keys but she won't stop.

She is what I would call a 'full blown' alcoholic. Having said that, what is the difference between a 'functioning' alcoholic and one who is 'full blown'? I drink wine in the evenings, never in the day. But I still drink too much. I may not be downing bottles of brandy and not washing for weeks like she does, but I'm still addicted.

i would say that very often the only difference is time.

I had high blood pressure 15 months ago. I wanted to join a gym but they wouldn't have me because I was too much of a health risk

It was a bit of a catch 22 because I wanted to lose weight so that I could be more healthy but I couldn't join the gym because I was too unhealthy

Anyway I decided to diet and exercise at home but I couldn't do it because I was drinking. Chasing I was drinking a bottle of wine almost every night at this point. So I decided stop drinking to help my diet and guess what? I realised that I couldn't stop!

Every morning I woke with a stonking hangover and said to myself, that's it, no drinking today. But by 4pm I was thinking that it wouldn't be so bad, I could just have a couple of glasses so I would buy the bottle and of course I drank it all. This went on for about 6 months more until I found the bus.

Now I am 2 stone lighter, my blood pressure is normal and I have joined the damn gym!

Greyhound - you are doing brilliant. I like your plan and I think you can do it. Nothing wrong at all with drinking at the weekends and abstaing during the week. You can do it. :)

Ginger - hope youre ok today. Are you hungover? I think I would have been if it were my last evening.... I hope youre ok?

Hopefully - Im behind you all the way. Im sooo glad you are getting the support you deserve. Good luck Brave Babe. Keep us posted about the 27th and worry about what happens after your 3 months on Antabuse when the time comes. ((((())))))

Saf. Does DS go to nursery/pre school? Nursery staff like to babysit?

morning faire

blanket no he's at school now but he did go to a local nursery so i guess i could ask staff there if they or anyone they know babysits. thinking a responsible teenager who lives locally enough to walk home would be the ideal. will ask the school mum brigade if they know of anyone.

Thanks, Blanket. I did drink two nights last week due to being a pisshead celebrating a couple of things. Still, an improvement of sorts of drinking every blinking night.

BOING!

I'm feeling good today! I've just made muffins and they're in the oven. I wonder whether any of you would like the recipe, since I know all a lot of you use sweet things to battle the cravings. This is a Nigella recipe that I've adapted to be lower GI and more healthy. Also, muffins are so spectacularly easy to make that anyone can do them at any time, as long as you've got a muffin tin.

What's that? You'd love to hear my recipe? Well then let me begin...

Berry and dark chocolate muffins
Preheat oven to 200°c

200g plain wholemeal flour (I use 150 wholemeal, 50g spelt)
75g molasses or sugar (much less refined and more nutritious than caster)
or dark demerara sugar
2 tsp baking powder
half tsp bicarbonate of soda
50 - 75g dark (72%) chocolate. While still in its covering, whack it hard and repeatedly all over with a rolling pin to shatter it into little bits. This is most satisfying if you're a bit pissed off.
I like to add a tsp or so of crushed cardamom seeds

Put all these dry ingredients in a bowl. You can do this the night before if you're making them in the morning.

75g butter
100ml low fat natural yoghurt
100ml milk
1 egg
200g frozen berries (you can get bags of them in the supermarket. Either put them in frozen or measure out and leave in a bowl in the fridge to defrost overnight.) Redcurrant, blackcurrants, raspberries or whatever.

Melt the butter in a pan.
Put the liquids in a jug, add the egg and whisk with a fork to combine. When the butter's melted, whisk that in too. If the butter isn't salted, add a tiny pinch of salt.

Pour into the mixing bowl of dry stuff, add berries and mix roughly to combine. You mustn't overmix muffins, so it doesn't matter at all if the mixture is lumpy and not completely mixed in places.

Divide into twelve muffin cases in the tray.
Cooks for about 20 mins.

God they're lush. And they're nutritious, healthy and guilt free.

the egg should be a large one, btw

and it should be molasses sugar, not molasses or sugar.

Thanks Mia but Waitrose does my baking for me - it's just like magic!

I am absolutely shite in the kitchen. Just done housework and feel like a saint - bloody hate all domesticity!

Feeling Boingy McBoingy - day 12 for moi.

As I've said, I'm not seeking to give up boozing. I was 'only' drinking about 4 bottles of wine a week but still too much esp when a cheeky vodka or five is thrown into the mix on the weekend.

But I have realised all the times/triggers when I wanted a drink or thought I simply couldn't do without a drink are treat times anyway so a drink not required eg watching crap Saturday night TV with the kids or scoffing a lardy takeaway. The treat is the treat if ya see what I mean.

Have a good weekend y'all x

Morning all. I've had a couple of nights drinking - small amount on Thursday over couple of hours, not so small amount last night but stopped drinking early and came home feeling sober.

I'm a bit low today. I came home again to find DH passed out drunk, and I'm worried about how I can cope as a non-drinker if he's going to continue doing this. He's visited the doctor three times about his drinking, and I suspect he's minimising it because she seems to think that it's okay and temporary.

He's been a drinker a long time. I know it's none of my business, but I love him and afraid I will have to leave for my own health. :( And I'm absolutely terrified of walking away from another marriage, especially as he's generally lovely.

Morning all

So lovely to see all these 'boingy' people . This bus is most a certainly a miracle bus, just stepping on seems to give people the freedom to rid themselves of the baggage of alcohol!

Just been out for a 5 mile run, twas awesome, am now eating toast and drinking coffee, pondering the day ahead, no idea what I am going to do, but I do know that at least one decision has been taken - today - I am not going to drink . My goodness, my old life was boring, the whole weekend was taken up with the drinking, the hiding, the lying, the tidying up after the drinking, and then the horrible horrible hangovers, and then lack of motivation to do anything.

Someone at AA was talking about the lack of selfcare whilst they were drinking, and I get that now. I was always clean and tidy, but I didn't really look after myself, I struggled to get up washed and dressed when I didn't need to get to work, I certainly didn't take off my makeup every night.
Now it's something I enjoy, painting my toenails, moisturising my legs, taking my vitamins. All little things, that I have suddenly realised that I have started doing since I stopped drinking, because I have self worth, I like myself, I enjoy looking after myself, I enjoy being with me.

Not so sure I enjoy the running - but I love the Post Run feeling, actually it's better than any feeling of being drunk, and no hangover. Bonus.

Take care all.
Blessed are the Brave Babes
Bafana
xxx

Sunny I expect many of us can identify with your dh. I have certainly been there. Secretly knowing that I was drinking too much but not ready to really admit that to anyone. Scared to death that I would lose the people who loved me but equally scared of living without alcohol. Drinking to pretend it wasn't happening. But that's his story, not yours.

You cannot do anything for him. You cannot control his drinking. You cannot cure his drinking. He is the only one who can do anything about his drinking and that isn't going to happen until he wants it to, if ever.

So, difficult as it is, you have no choice but to concentrate on your own sobriety and do whatever it takes to get there. This is not selfish, it's necessary x

Proud well done, you are doing brilliantly

Bafana you've been for a 5 mile run already? How fabulous and what a great way to start your weekend. Lovely to hear from you again x

< waves to Mia and Saf >

So not 'Boinging' today. Hungover. Well that's solved tonight's panic as I'm hungover and hungry so don't mind not drinking tonight, not exactly the way I wanted to do it but at least anxiety and I agree that I shouldn't be accountable for other peoples drinking, she can choose numerous options and that is not of my concern, looking forward to waking up tomorrow hangover free tbh. This morning was a vile reminder of why I need to stop this crap. Plus on a superficial level I am bloated, tired and look gross and I need some serious make up/flattering clothes combo to sort me out which has annoyed me. Drank two bottles of wine and are copious amounts of food after, none of which I remember eating

Ah Island so sorry you feel crap. This is a classic example of why it's not worth thinking about drinking too far ahead. All week you've been fretting over this and now the day is here, the decision has been made. Hope you haven't depleted your jugs too much

Have a lovely sober meal and enjoy the company. You have a genuine reason not to stay up too late so hopefully you will sleep well tonight and wake up feeling more refreshed and positive tomorrow x

you must indeed feel like hell island.

do you think that last night has shown you anything? what's the strategy to avoid doing that again? one and a half times the weekly recommended units in one night must be hard going on your body - not sure what you're aiming for - if it's not drinking in the week are you also aiming to not binge drink at the weekends or no holds barred somedays?

Have not touched a drop for weeks but ironically feel like I have a hangover today.

Banging head, nauseous, tired......WTF?!!

Wish I could run 5 miles, couldn't even do 1!!

island maybe it's a sympathy hangover for you.

drink lots of water chasing - always helps to rule out dehydration with those symptoms. hope you're not coming down with something x

Hi babes,
there are some lovely positive vibes on the bus at the moment.
I am just checking in to say I am 18 months sober this week, that is 547 'day 1s' acheived, one day at a time.
A GREAT BIG THANK YOU to all the Brave Babes past and present for being there, providing support, friendship and love.

Sunny it's absolutely your business that DH is a heavy long-time drinker but it's of course his business if he wants to cut down. It must be very hard to be doing so well yourself but seeing your partner letting the side down. Have you tried talking to him about it? (not when he's pissed obviously).

Island I'm a binge drinker (previously in denial that I was a binge drinker) so can totally relate to what happened last night. But at least you're feeling too crap for it to happen again tonight! I'm feeling the boing today because I didn't cave in to a crave yesterday afternoon and have just managed to sell an antique brooch to a jewellers for £600 which will help pay for our holiday to France. Am SO pleased because I'm always on such a tight budget and would have had to use my miniscule savings otherwise.