The Brave Babes Battle Bus - Staying Springy In Their Quest For Sobriety.

[Mouseface]

Hello, I'm Mouse I have an shockingly abusive relationship with alcohol, mainly vodka.

This Bus is full of drinkers, non-drinkers, thinkers and Babes, all trying to find their way to a happy, sober life.

Some are there, some are almost there and some are not. It really doesn't matter, we're all in this together.

Why not find a seat? Everyone is welcome, drinking or drunk, come and say hello.

HERE is the previous thread, with a link to all of the other wonderful journeys so far............

cas I agree with venus that any change is worth trying. When I drink wine I fill the whole wine glass with ice and pour the wine over, so that it gradually gets watered down a bit. Or I will mix it with soda water. Also, try to get the odd soft drink in as well, in between your wine glasses because it will fill you up more and ultimately you will drink less.

venus that was one big old trigger wasn't it? If we don't anticipate them, they can be quite strong and shock us, I agree. You know what you did though? You saw the movie through to the end. You visualised buying, smuggling, hiding the wine, then secretively (although probably not a secretly as you think) drinking the wine in furtive solititude. You saw it right through to the hangover the next day and decided that that was not what you wanted. Brilliant! Well done .

Greyhound love the list

Island I was going to post pretty much what Jesus said. Are you really going to sacrifice your own sobriety just because your friend would rather share a bottle of wine? I am sure you have enjoyed each others company at other non-drinking times. Good idea to eat earlier and then you can linger over coffee instead. But most importantly, remember that is tomorrow so don't worry about it today x

Babes - can I ask you whether you had a 'rock bottom' moment? I think I've actually had a few (pun intended), too many to mention.

One of my worst was behaving appallingly at a wedding some years ago - I got abso-fecking-lutely wasted. Awful thing is that instead of having a black out, I woke up the next morning (feeling like I wanted to die) with total recall of my repulsive activities. These included unrestrained flirting (I was single at the time - who would have wanted to be with a vile creature like me???) with men both married and unmarried. I also insulted several people.

Then there was the time I went out drinking with some of my (adoptive so non related but still...) cousins and ended up shagging one of them.

I could go on...

island I understand the way you are thinking about your night out, but it's not your responsibility to enable someone else getting their 'fix' of alcohol. Your responsibility is to look after YOU (and to drive everyone around safely ). Seriously though, if your friend wants a glass of wine - she can order that. Ditto 2 glasses, or half a bottle (they do make them in that size), or 4 glasses. Or she can order a whole bottle and leave some. Do you know you don't get shot by the restaurant for leaving food on your plate or for leaving wine in the bottle......

mia I don't want to rain on your parade (too much) but ime that alcohol thing is a tricky little fucker. In bygone times I have done exactly the same as you - a strong commitment and a period of abstinence; an absolute conviction that I hated the taste/smell of wine; a mature approach which involved a couple of glasses of good wine to accompany good food. It kind of went more like this:
day 1-10: - 10 days abstinence
day 11: - half a glass, leave the rest (ooh see me, I am in control)
day 12: - 2 glasses
day 13: - 2 big glasses
day 14: - oh, Sunday lunch, well OK, just a couple..
day 14 and a half: 3 glasses (well it's the last drink before the 'week')
day 15: shitty day at work - whole bottle
day 16 and onwards: whoops
Of course, you are not me. And maybe your weekend will be different. But the first question I'd ask you (as part of your experiment) is 'what about sunday?' is it a drinking day because it is the weekend, or is it a non-drinking day because you have to go to work tomorrow?

alias if I were your colleague and read those notes on the desk, I'd think that someonhad had left them for me, and that someone, somewhere was questioning my ability to exert sufficient willpower over drink/coffee/donuts/sexual-attraction-to-unsuitable-colleague. Maybe I'm very paranoid?

Also note to anyone who thinks I was wonderful and strong to resist those urges last night - well tbh if dp had been out, I don't think I'd have resisted. I stopped partly because I recognised the madness of my thinking, but also because I wasn't so sure that I could do it without being found out.

Here endeth the epistle...

Too many hangovers to list (although might be an eye opener to see them in writing) but the really depressing thing is, the amount consumed never really justifies the deep fried dog shite scenario next day!!

For some bizarre twist of logic I can tolerate far more wine at home than I can when out.

Hangover of my life a few months ago following a formal ball. Only had 3 glasses of wine but had my head down loo until midnight the next day and wanted to die Missed out on a lovely family gathering because of it.

I honestly don't think my body can tolerate booze, yet I keep at it

I've had loads grey but most of them didn't stop me drinking, they just made me hate myself more. This was the absolute worst though.

Shortly before I got pregnant with DD, I took xDP to see some friends of mine around 50 miles away. I didn't intend to drink, as I was driving. As I was in a weird emotional state for various reasons, I ended up getting fucking hammered. I then insisted on driving home (even though DP would have been much safer to drive), and could barely focus on the car in front. I've driven over the limit on other occasions, but nothing ever like that, not to be so drunk I could hardly see - I am mortified with shame and self-loathing to even remember how dangerous it was (in fact I'd blotted it out of my memory until you asked that question). The memory disgusts me. How I didn't have an accident on the motorway at 80mph is a fucking miracle.

When he realised how drunk I was (I had taken my glass into the kitchen and downed all the dregs and half glasses left on the table) he called me a stupid selfish cunt, made me stop the car on the hard shoulder so he could drive, and unceremoniously dumped me. I was so shocked by what I'd done that I read Beechy Colclough book my alcoholic uncle had given me (probably so that he could get rid of it ) cover to cover the next day and stopped drinking. xDP and I reconciled and two weeks later I got pregnant with DD - unplanned and accidental. I always wondered if my body thought 'hmm, no drinking huh, what shall we do instead?'

I used to drink spirits back then. Thankfully I've never gone back to spirits and drink them only rarely.

venus I just read your post above. Yes I've got a nasty feeling that my scenario might play out in a very similar way to yours. But I don't know until I try iyswim. I know from periods of cutting down before that it soon creeps back up again. I feel like this 10 days has given me a shed-load of realisations, and I'm interested to see if I can put that into practice or whether I'll slip back. If I slip, then I have confidence in myself to stop again that I simply didn't have before.

Good evening everyone. I'm safe now, for the evening. I managed to overcome a huge craving at around 3pm and avoid stopping off to buy a bottle on the way home. It wasn't easy but I did it and I can do it again. All desire for a drink has gone now as I've eaten a wholesome meal and that always works for me. I'm so grateful my evening will be calm and I'll go to bed sober and wake up without a hangover.

I'm another one who's never got the drinking fine wine with a meal thing. The emptier my stomach is when the wine hits the better and the more I drink the less of an appetite I have. I doubt I'll ever be able to drink in that civilised French way - after all alcohol is only there to get you drunk and who wants food to get in the way?

joey the boing is an elusive thing. you have to be off the booze for a few days and strange things happen. you wake up without a headache. your eyes are brighter, you have more energy, you feel positive and proud...THAT is the boing. It's not something I'm very well aquainted with but I hope to be...

dementedma hmm I don't recognise the boing because I don't usually get a hangover, and although I've been sober the last couple of nights I still haven't slept well.

I spose one of the things I'm hoping for is a reduction in reflux - wine makes that worse. If I could get through a week without having to take an antacid, that would be a sign.

Ok people, I have to admit I am a bit scared, tonight is my last night as an alcohol addict. DH is totally into it and I worry that I am going to fail.

blanket HELP!

Good Evening All.

After reading the posts on here Yesterday, I have bought NO Alcohol today I have been in 3 shops and just didnt :)

This is the first day/night without Alcohol in probably 3 months maybe

Thanks Everyone for sharing your experiences, it has kind of made me give myself a bit of a kick up the bum :)

Ginger - you got it. You get it. Its ok.

Drink your final drink and move on. It is completely and utterly fine.

Ive had a couple of (literally 2) wobbles and I immediately remember the indicator thing. And my memory is rubbish (proably due to too much booze)!

Do you remember that bit in the book? It helps that we have just changed our car and the indicators are now indeed on the other side and I do keep turning the winscreen wipers on instead of indicating.

I LOVE not drinking. I love it. Im fit, healthy, better off and well. I LOVE NOT BEING HUNGOVER AND FEELING LIKE A SLAVE TO BOOZE.

I honestly dont know whats happening. It is properly weird. But I am bloody fine not drinking.

I have had a bar of chocolate each night for the past 4 days [humm] but its been a week since Ive drunk and Im pretty chuffed.

Drink your last drink. And get on with it..... You have DH support and us BB.

You are missing nothing. Its a fecking legalised version of herion. We are being brainwashed into thinking its essential and necessary and ok to drink.

Yet is soooo hideously addictive and people like you and me dont/cant stop at ONE glass.

Phew.... Im sorry - Im getting a bit evangelical here arent I.

Sorry babes. Ignore rant. I just want you all to feel and be well tomorrow.

Big hugs.
x

Well done Angel

Well done Blanket

Mia I get what you mean about trying it out. I did the same. I was able to go back to not drinking the next day. Not at first, though. I had to keep trying but now it's easy most of the time. Haven't had a craving or been thinking about booze (except when I'm here of course) for a long time. I hope this works for you too but, if not, well at least you'll know.

Also, what has happened for me is that I have lost my fear of not being able to drink. If it all goes wrong for me and I find moderating is not going to work after all, then I just won't drink. I'm not scared of life without booze. I've been off it long enough to know that life goes on pretty much ok for me. I prefer not drinking most of the time anyway. I certainly prefer the Boing

Thank you blanket, I know I should approach this with joy but can I be apprehensive too?

Faire I bow down before you; you are the drinker I aspire to be!

Seriously, that's how I want my relationship with wine to be; a nice extra but not something that dominates my thoughts. At the moment that's how I'm feeling, but I'm aware that it's very very early days, and it only a week ago that I was on here battling the witching hour. I do feel like I've undergone some significant changes and realisations about myself in these ten days, but on the other hand I know me, and how dramatically my mood and state of mind can change. When I feel down I can't remember or imagine feeling better, and when I'm better, I think I'll never be down again. I'm just going to be vigilant and take it day by day.

Well tonight the 4.30pm toastie worked its magic. I'd mentally 'allowed' myself a glass of white whilst cooking dinner, but actually I didn't want it, so I didn't pour it - the only white wine I poured tonight was into the pasta sauce. I poured a glass of red just before we ate, and DP poured me another one which I'm still nursing now with tiny sips. Red wine I like to have with food, whereas the white wine is what I want to chuck back on an empty stomach. I learned my drinking habits from my dad, who would drink whisky for the duration of his 'session' (lunchtime or evening) then eat at the end and go straight to bed. I used to be the same, and I still don't really get that 'eat first and then go out drinking' thing - it doesn't have the same effect after food.

But it's that drinking that I don't want to do any more. I want to have a glass with dinner for the taste and a gentle buzz, not to get really pissed. If I'm in a frame of mind where I want to numb myself (like last night) I want to be able to resist that impulse and do something more nourishing.

I remember years ago my then DP saying that he only fancied a drink when he was in a good mood. I couldn't understand that at all; I thought 'what the fuck's the point of that - it's when you're feeling crap that you need a drink!'

Of course you can be aprehensive ginger - all big changes are a bit scary even when they're good ones. It's great that your DH is on board too, and you've got bags of support here. Think of what you'll be gaining!

Well despite planning not to drink tonight i had an impromptu night with two friends and had 3 small glasses of wine interspersed with 3 large ginger beers .. have come home and haven't had the need to drink more.

not being complacent but definatly better than before

Ginger it's ok to be apprehensive when you are about to change your life.
angel you can do this, you can.
kirsty well done you.

so much that is positive on this bus. You guys rock.

Was messing around with DS tonight, tucking him in bed. he is 10 now and at the stage where he doesn't really want to show that he does want hugs and kisses but they are not cool etc. he pushes me away, so my trick is to tuck the duvet up under his chin, pin his arms and then, when he can't move cover his face in kisses while he grimaces and squirms and giggles. After smothering him in exaggerated kisses tonight i said "you know, dementedboy, there are lots of little boys out there who don't have a mummy to kiss them goodnight" and he looked really thoughtful for a minute and said, " I know. That must be horrible".
Don't know why I posted that really, it just made me realise one of my blessings I suppose.

I've just given DP the third of a glass I had left!

Off for a bath and bed. Night Brave Babes.

i've been hunting high and low insinde. not even a dropping to be seen.

night all.

Just checking in, haven't had chance to read posts, v sorry. All ok here, just v tired with work and DD. I just keep telling myself it would be much worse if I was drinking xx

Morning All

Tired but hangover free this morning.

Watched 'The Help' with friends last night - good watch but not a patch on book I thought.

Anyway drank flavoured water & scoffed popcorn all night. Twas great!

faire you sound really sorted with you drinking.

Tell me, how much were you drinking before you called a halt?