The Brave Babes Battle Bus - Staying Springy In Their Quest For Sobriety.

[Mouseface]

Hello, I'm Mouse I have an shockingly abusive relationship with alcohol, mainly vodka.

This Bus is full of drinkers, non-drinkers, thinkers and Babes, all trying to find their way to a happy, sober life.

Some are there, some are almost there and some are not. It really doesn't matter, we're all in this together.

Why not find a seat? Everyone is welcome, drinking or drunk, come and say hello.

HERE is the previous thread, with a link to all of the other wonderful journeys so far............

soma being with a partner ain't all it's cracked up to be. I would love to be single again!

Mia Take care my matey, proud has done the rug, how about some tea from Claridges! I've been saving it since January!!

where is this bus going? How about a drive to Arundel, look around the castle, and then a long walk along the river?

Silver I truly hope all is well with your Dm, and how are you?

Isinde your little kisses don't do it for me!! Speak to me .

Where is the Mouse in the house? xxxx

I have driven half way around the world (slight exaggeration) for Dc2 tonight, and am feeling a bit miffy, Dh didn't phone when I wasn't home when he got in, and I am never out when he get's home!. Said "if you had been longer I would have worried", but managed to put his dinner on, and pour a beer!!

I have listened to his very hard day ( and it was), but, am still very fucked off cross.

I hope you are all having a better evening, I'm going up for a bath, so may be able to put it into perspective then!!

Thanks chasing

Thanks thurso

sunny so sorry to hear about your DMIL. How's she taken it?

thurso I have driven around the other half! 4 hours and probably only covered about 10 miles bloody London traffic my clutch leg is wobbly.

I spent the afternoon with an old friend. It was lovely, like a draft of cool water I felt so relaxed and energised . I haven't seen her for 4 years (I isolated a lot when drinking).

In and out all evening and just gave DD2 13 a package that had arrived. She looked very shifty, so we opened it together- IV Catheters for belly button piercing and pretend !!!

And breathe.

Mia, well done for staying on the bus. Hope you sleep well tonight. Thanks Faire, I've sobered up and am off to bed now.

I know that I can't make any promises to myself about stopping. It's as if every time I pick up a drink I think the outcome will be different; maybe this time I won't feel so shitty afterwards about having drunk. But of course I do. Even though it might be only one or two bottles a week, it still wreaks havoc and my peace of mind is destroyed. It's not really about how much I drink anymore but why I drink the way I do - impulsively and alone. Sorry for the self-pity earlier and for understanding. x

Aah Isinde only meant that if you wanted to talk? . I appreciate your kisses anytime!

The wild and wetlands trust isn't wasn't it used to be , sadly. Nor is The Black Rabbit, all become a bit touristy, but the walks along the river are still stupendous. Offer still open for a before the wedding mini-break

Soma take care tonight, new day tomorrow!

isn't wasn't isn't what, I meant!

Arundel: I'm all for a walk along the river, but are we expected to go and see a Tomb? I don't fancy that much, bit gloomy. I like castles though.

Actually I didn't know Arundel was a real place, I thought it was just a poem. I have learned a lot on here, about jugs and spikes and Arundel.

Soma I separated from my husband on New Years Eve .. (my previous nickname of Liarswife should tell you all you need to know on that one) .. I have no interest in dating I am quite enjoying being single on the 3 nights a week he has DD - I go to the gym, joined the work's running club, go out with friends and tonight I went to the cinema myself and saw Battleship and had tortilla chips, dips and fiery ginger beer for my tea in there .. had a wee party to myself .. it was fantastic

Mia at least you know that you haven't forced your DP into something he didn't really want. Hope your relationship can go from strength to strength after this

Day 10 tomorrow :)

i always used to see arundel in the distance but never went there so can i come too please? i bagsy seeing some fairy rings too.

was a good girl and moved my 'lazy arse' as told and went to my meeting - very glad i did. honestly i can't recommend aa enough. it makes me bizarrely happy and lighter just to sit in a room full of honest people and feel safe to be an honest person too - it's all very real and that is such a relief. hard to explain without going on and on and don't want to start sounding like one of those aa zealots

mia i'm passing you my tub of pralines and cream hagen daas - your need is greater than mine. i have now started eating alcoholically everyone says so fucking what just eat and worry about that later so long as your not drinking it's fine. i've considered the fact that the money i save on alcohol might end up being spent on alterations to the house - eg. widening the doorways, reinforcing the stairs etc ooh and a little mini freezer by the sofa for the ice-cream. actually forget that because i think i'm spending more on chocolate and ice cream than i was on booze!

joking aside i'm having to tell myself it really isn't the end of the world if i put a bit of weight on. i could turn it around by bringing on my disordered eating head very easily i'm sure but i don't want to do that - what is the point of dealing with the alcohol if i make myself anorexic instead iyswim. the world will not end if i get a bit chunky for a few months. must.remember.this.simple.fact.

right babbling here. going to watch silent witness on iplayer and indulge in the simple pleasure of lying on the sofa with a fluffy blanket much love and peace to all the lovely babes - enjoy what you're doing right now, be kind to yourselves x

soma i'm single too - you're not the only one

another good thing about aa is you get very good at hand shaking - by the time my interview comes i'm going to have such a confident, assertive, 'just right' handshake! so long as i don't automatically say, 'hello my name's saf and i'm an alcoholic'

I'm sure it's happened! saf

Thanks for all the lovely supportive messages x

saf I'm glad the meeting went well. Plenty of time to get the weight down when you're through this phase. I'm telling myself the same thing.

Can't sleep. Sad and angry, even though I know there's no grounds to be angry.

Morning everyone,

Isinde I hope the DT's slept through, and so did you and DP.

Mia You're bound to be sad and angry, and those feelings are always worse at 5am. I'm sending you hugs. xx

First day back at work for me today!

Have good days all.
xxx

Morning Thurso, indeed today is another day and I'm feeling OK after a night tossing and turning and thinking what a tosser I am . Glad the single life is suiting you so well Kirsty - yes it can be paradise after a crap relationship.

Saf, I know I'm in good company and will stop feeling sorry for myself immediately. AA is great isn't it (have been in and out the doors several times) and the feeling of inclusion is awesome.

Mia hope you're not feeling too down - talk to him and try not to let this put a wedge between you. My feeling is you can come back from this and make it work.

Have a great day everyone else and thanks for last night.

Mia take comfort that you are getting through this. It really sounds as if you are coping- keep posting, whatever you feel.

Rain welcome. You have built so much out of the worse start and you are full of empathy. Concentrate on healing you and littlerain, you deserve it.

Morning

teeny ween boing today - DD going through one of those bad dream phases, which meant getting up to her 3 times last night. Poor thing is always in such a state but can't articulate what the dream was about, and of course can't remember a single thing by morning !

So feeling a bit red eyed this morning, but at least not hungover

Mia how's you today? Hope everyone had a good evening.

ps love Arundel but was traumatised as school child by being forced to sit in freezing hide out for hours to spot random birds

Ps indi Dorothy???!!

Mia I am so sorry ((( ))) it sounds like such a difficult situation. However - and I do not mean this glibly or to diminish how you feel - a strong relationship where you can talk things through and consider each others feelings and hopes (as you are) is SO much more important than being married. But still I know its what you wanted.

saf so far this week I have consumed, most of a (biggish) coffee cake, all the leftover sweets from the party (a LOT), pizza, left over mini eggs, easter eggs ... honestly I could go on and on. I figure its what I need now. And its easier to shift weight that kick the booze (I assume).

All ok here, work is very busy which is good but I don't have time to think (good for not thinking about booze), DD got into her first choice of school (same as her BF - phew!), DH may have had some good news at work ... so all good in the Gee house to be honest. I have a bit of a lurking feeling that I can't shift. Not sure what it is but I burst into tears on the way home from the nursery run thinking about what song I wanted played at my funeral. I think its because the anniversary of the termination is looming (in about a month) and its creeping into my thoughts more and more. ho hum.

Strength to all. And for the love of Jeff, please take the 'bad' food from my house

big- don't give a monkeys if they're mnish or not -hugs msgee! anniversaries are hard aren't they? doesn't seem rational sometimes but everybody seems to find it, the time of year comes round and it all starts to come again - bereavements, bad experiences, all sorts. it will pass - as unhelpful as that sounds x

apparently there was a tradition in ireland that older folks still follow that in the year following a bereavement you're let off of sending christmas/birthday/whatever cards and gifts. based in that understanding of how hard the markers are in the year that follows. also avoids people who've lost their partners having to write cards without their name on good tradition i think - shows a society cares and gets that loss is a big thing and not something you have to instantly get over.