shit just found a 'secret' phone in dh's car.

[mebythesea]

I cant believe it. Ive been reading/ lurking on the recent secret phone finding threads and now ive found one in dh's car. Fuck. Trying not to panic.

I went to my yoga class in his car as he wanted to use mine to take kids out in as it had all the carseats in.

So i was looking for a pen in glove box and found this cheap looking little newish phone. Never seen it before. Cant think why he would have it. He has a blackberry which he uses for work etc emailing. Is very open with it ie i use it when mine dead etc.

The phone battery is dead so can turn it on.

Ive taken it. Put sim in mine but didt seem to make any difference, all my stuff was still there, couldnt work out how to see what was stored on the sim.

Any ideas as to how to get info off it very welcome.

Am hoping theres an innocent explanation.
We've been getting on better than ever recently, felt like we've been getting a bit of the old spark back after a tough few months.... Oh god

Oh bugger.
What make is it? You may find a suitable charger somewhere?

Have you tried plugging it into any assorted battery chargers you may have lying round? It shouldn't take too long to charge it to a point where you can access the info on it.

Cant find a charger that fits. Will go on a bit of a rummage in the shed tomorrow for one that might.
Im feeling so gutted. Kindof expecting the worst now. Cant think when he'd have the time... Maybe its a sexting thing. Yuck. Am hoping its one of our employees phones, but not sure how or wy he'd have it.

He probably has charger for it in the car too!!! Hopefully it's not what you think - but i would be thinking the exact same thing if i were in your position!!

Check whats on it firstly though, you dont want to start accusing him of anything without proof.

Good Luck

I think if he were having an affair or had some sordid obsession thing going on he wouldn't let the phone run out of charge, surely? They might be a perfectly innocent explanation here. You just need a covert way of finding out.

I hope it's not what you think. Expect the worst; hope for the best.

Have you tried asking him about the random phone he has in the glove box? He may have found it somewhere (does it look like the sort of phone a grown man would buy?>)

There's been a fair amount of wise advice about this sort of situation on the threads you mentioned.
I know it's going to be hard not to speak out straight away, but you need to sleep on this (if you can...) and get some real hard yes/no information before you start talking, because if you're anything like me, once the conversation starts you won't be able to stop it, and things can be said in anger that can never be forgotten.
You can usually get generic chargers for phones from those high street phone shops, the last one I bought was about £7.

Its a samsung. My htc charger doesnt work in it... Will keep looking. I did have a rootle about in the car but no charger. I did find a random nokia cahrger though? The plot thickens...odd

I wouldn't worry about finding random chargers, we've got about 30 odd scattered around house, 'man-drawers' and under seats of dps van etc.
The generic charger I bought was for a Samsung - my own - that had come with no car charger, so shouldn't be a problem - I got it in a Vodaphone shop.

It really is best to say nothing to him until you're able to access the phone and its contents. It's possible he leaves the charger for this at work, as he can hardly plug it in in the kitchen can he?

If he's up to no good, if you ask him about it he will say he found it, it's his mate's, someone left it in his car......

If it is an affair phone, then he will notice it's missing as soon as he gets in the car or first tries to charge it, so work quickly and realise that when you next see him after that, he will have spent that time cooking up a story because he will know you've found it.

Yep im not going to jump in accusing him. I will get a charger in the morning if needs be and check it out propperly before i ask him.
He does have a bit of a porn habit, mostly fairly tame stuff , girls with big bristols, but i wouldnt put it past him to get abit carried away. .. He has form unfortunatly. All be it a few yrs ago.

OK mebythesea, keep us posted. And unMNetty hugs btw!

Aha!! This could be a possible explanation.

Oh dear,

Men! I found an old phone charging behind a chest of drawers. And a voucher for a topup when we both had contract phones. He denied everything. He kept his contract phone on silent and lost it when I questioned him as he never left it charging when I was about. I kicked him out and then when the bill disappeared I phoned the company (as contract was in my name) discovered hundreds of texts to another girl every day and night. He has never admitted anything tho. Why do men do this?

Oh that was my exh btw.

another one ?

Quite a collection of secret phone users building up on MN

OP, I suggest you keep hold of this phone. Don't tell him you have it, let him think he lost it. Then buy a second hand charger from Ebay for a few pence and away you go.

bloody hell, what is it with these men.

I hope theres an innocent explanation OP :(

Hi thanks for your advice. I bought a charger on ebay, should come tomorrow so we'll see. I'll keep you posted. He went to work earlier then came back and did a bit of a hunt about... Think he might be looking for it. Im keeping my cool though as either way i dont want to lay all my cards on the table.
By the way his past form is general sneakyness re porn and a one off phone line session and that was over 7 yrs ago.
There have been trust issues, he has a sneaky personality and hides stuff he thinks i'll dissaprove of such as smoking, how much he has drunk and a long time ago coke... So i always have a bit of a paranoia about what he is up to just cos he is a bit secretive. Btw he is teetotal and a non smoker now thank god.... Sorry bit of a rambel..

Hope it's not what you're thinking.

I missed ladybeagleyes post. Was it troll hunting? Yawn.

Ask him about it. IF you don't trust him, you don't trust him and they're little point in trying to have a good life with someone you don't trust.

of course playing games is an alternative.

Pan, do you seriously consider that if this man is Up to No Good he will say "you have me bang to rights, Guvnor" and confess all ?

Or is he more likely, especially with previous form, going to deny until confronted with concrete evidence (and probably will still lie even then..)

If nothing incriminating on the phone, then all is well.

Except OP doesn't trut him anyway, but until she found the phone she seemed content with that (inexplicably)