shit just found a 'secret' phone in dh's car.

[mebythesea]

I cant believe it. Ive been reading/ lurking on the recent secret phone finding threads and now ive found one in dh's car. Fuck. Trying not to panic.

I went to my yoga class in his car as he wanted to use mine to take kids out in as it had all the carseats in.

So i was looking for a pen in glove box and found this cheap looking little newish phone. Never seen it before. Cant think why he would have it. He has a blackberry which he uses for work etc emailing. Is very open with it ie i use it when mine dead etc.

The phone battery is dead so can turn it on.

Ive taken it. Put sim in mine but didt seem to make any difference, all my stuff was still there, couldnt work out how to see what was stored on the sim.

Any ideas as to how to get info off it very welcome.

Am hoping theres an innocent explanation.
We've been getting on better than ever recently, felt like we've been getting a bit of the old spark back after a tough few months.... Oh god

Maybe there is an element of denial with me and trusting dh... Mostly we rub along ok, laugh alot, have good frequent sex, talk about everything (nearly!), run two businesses together, mostly its ok, just a bit of a niggle re totally trustig his full manogomy. He's always had a v.high sex drive and at times there have been droughts due t children, bfing, stress etc but on the whole we're pretty close. Anyway im not confronting him tilll i kno whats on the phone. As if nothing then i'l look like a paranoid harpee, and if there is something then i'll have evidence. Then we'll have the "sooo whats this then" conversation.

Yep i ha that thought too lueji :(
I was just in the garden feeding the chickens and i just thought... Why hasnt he asked me where it is... Damn.
Had a little cry... Maybe im not as ok with our set up as i thought...

mebythesea

He may not even have realised that its missing.

On the bright side if he doesn't use it he wouldn't know.

but he has form for his secretive ways so he's unlikely to ask if youve seen his secret phone.....

fingers crossed for you meby

It could just be an old phone he never uses, love

Although your "but he has a high sex drive" and "there have been droughts" is starting to sound like you would blame yourself if you have discovered something untoward. Do not even go down that road, lady

If he looks again for something I'd sweetly ask if he has lost something and offer to help looking for it. :)

I hope when you get it working it's nothing.

yes i agree with asking if he has lost something??

He's gone to bed. He's been in a bit of a funny mood this afternoon. Bit grumpy. Or am i reading to much into it? Ive been a bit distant from him today so could be reacting to that.

I know some of you think im playing games, i am to some extent, but not to manipulate the situation. Just paranoid from reaading so many similar situations on mn recently... Im not normally a gameplayer, but just feel i should tread carefully here

Hope it's nothing. You're not playing games, the same thing happened to me nearly 7 weeks ago, I had a quick look and flipped at h, who took the phone off me and smashed it and all the info (none was in the sim card). With hindsight I'd do it all differently.

I truly hope it's innocent.

Hey lost how are you getting on? Read your thread. Hope your ok.
Im trying not to panic.

It's probably nothing... Where's the trust? Relax :)

mebythsea Is there anything in his line of work/ family life that he will have come across a phone or had need to have another phone?

I (for example) bought one for my mum months ago because she would go off for long walks on her own (with a history of "funny turns") - I could not get her to use the bloody thing so shoved it in a drawer and gave up. My husband found it and said 'who the hecks phone is this?' because he switches off when I'm talking from time to time you understand

I'm not trying to make excuses for him at all - just trying to rule out any possibility that this could be innocent before you get yourself too upset.

I'm doing okay thanks taking one day at a time at the minute, and I haven't killed him yet .

I'll really keep my fingers crossed for you. Stay calm (should listen to my own advice)

Does he normally go to bed earlier than you?

I think, if he is having some kind of extra marital the phone would be charged and he would have thouht about ir being in the car and shit himself when he realised you had taken the car.

I wonder if it is from an ended text relationship, how have things been previously?

The not knowing must be driving you nuts

What's the battery like on his normal phone? I've got a smart phone that I love, but it drains in like 5 or 6 hours, so I always keep a spare crappy phone (without a sim, I just swop it over if needed) in the car in case I get stranded and my main phone has died. Is that a possibility in this case?

My two cents; if he was cheating he would have the phone charged and on him, and he will certainly be picking up on your vibe and being grumpy with you is unsurprising. I hope it's innocent!

Fwiw my DH has several handsets, many are broken, I wouldn't know what was what, and when he cheated I found out via his main phone...some men just aren't that clever.

I agree that there could be an innocent explanation - we have several handsets knocking about that I've forgotten about. Phones are so throw away these days. If it wasn't charged, then could be okay.

I don't agree that it's game over either way because you don't trust him!

I 100% completely trust my dh (he has never once given me reason to distrust him in 17 years) but would still have a moment of if I found another phone or anything potentially dodgy.

I would snoop, snoop, snoop. Don't give a fuck if it's right or wrong or not addressing real issues etc etc. I would have to know. Take that phone and get it charged up!

ive got a few handsets here and there too. the bad mood etc could be coincidental

Hope it's all innocent x

There seems to be a lot of secret phones on my abet lately . I hope it's innocent

Have we got a lot of trolls on this thread or are people just being rude?

My OH has 2 or 3 handsets hanging around, all his old phones, 1 with texts from his Mum who has since passed way. Hope it's all innocent. Sometimes it's difficult to judge where coincidence ends and gut feelings start.

phone shops will charge a phone for you, I've used them when my battery has run out and I'm out.