Time wasters need not apply, Soul Soothers come hither Dating Chat Part 11

[hatesponge]

Ta-da! Think this is the first one I've started.

I am still feeling somewhat feisty. Told my team off at work for being too noisy and was generally stroppy. Might have to go and start a row in AIBU or something!

So, dating, as you were etc

Not forgetting of course that I have a second date at the weekend!

The dating rules by MLM

1. Always in a public place
2. Always in a situation you are comfortable with
3. Never sleep with them on a first date
4. Make sure they can't follow you hone
5. Make sure someone knows where you are going and what time you are likely to br back.
6. Have fun, don't drink too much.
7. And finally live laugh learn love, and don't do anything I wouldn't

Just friends came over last night. It led to more than our usual chat, and then hug goodbye. Apparently he was expecting last night. I hope to see him again soon, in the meantime we text every day. Hoping we can be soo much more than friends.

chaos. I spose if he doesnt go fast enough, you could whip him.... .

He's a bit long in the nose for me Chaotic, and you can bet he won't have good teeth

But he would be good to ride. Lol

Thanks for the rules, this is the second date so could sleep with him, but don't think I will as I'm seeing fwb this weekend

Well hopefully it will go well with just friends, he must be a great guy as you seem like you really like him..

And imagine the size of his......personality! .

PM update, dinner at mine on saturday with him & our mutual friend, my ex flat mate. No rum. And so it continues...

Well, I didn't end up going to the Lovestruck night. My friend was too tired so we just went for a quiet drink instead.

I am feeling rather miserable tonight. My friend (sometimes with benefits) stayed over on Saturday night. Now I'm feeling the same bleakness I always do a few days after we sleep together. There's nothing more soul destroying than being in love with someone you can't have.

Milk, does he know that you feel more for him than vice versa?

If so it seems rather ungentlemanly of him to continue with the arrangement, he must be aware at some level that he has the upper hand and is hurting your feelings?

Milk, that's a shame you couldn't go.

I've got a bit of the bleakness too, born of the realisation that however well things went at the weekend with the Scot, despite it all seeming promising, and him saying (unprompted) he wanted to see me again, I'm almost certainly not going to hear from him.

So a bit :( all round really.

Sponge, I've found that men often say things before/during/after sex which they later appear to forget about, or not to have meant.
Perhaps it seemed appropriate at the time, I dunno

Unless I've known the bloke long enough to be sure that he tends to mean what he says I find it best disregard anything he says.

As they say 'talk is cheap'
(so is texting)
They are all liars until proven otherwise!

loves He already has a girlfriend. They are in an 'open' relationship. Her idea. She told him she would leave him if he didn't agree to it so he did. They have been together for nearly 7 years, and don't even live together! Yet he thinks that once she has 'Got it out of her system' she will want to settle down

No he doesn't know how I feel, and I would rather chew my own arms off than tell him! I know I shouldn't see him, but it's him doing all the asking and I'm not strong enough to say no. Not just for sex. We go to the cinema etc as friends. He even asked me to go clothes shopping with him at the weekend!

I try my hardest not to like him, but he's literally stolen my heart. It's pathetic! I feel like I've been waiting all my life to meet him. I actually think it might have been love at first sight, and I don't even believe in it! Ironic considering I'm never going to get to be with him eh?

hate I know just how you feel. Sometimes no amount of trying to think it's their loss, we are great, yadda, yadda, yadda, works does it? It's really hard to not feel sorry for yourself at times, and sometimes a bit of a wallow is all you want to do. It is tiring putting yourself out there all the time, and feeling you aren't getting what you deserve back.

But you may hear from your Scot yet. It's only Wednesday. Don't lose all hope just yet.

sponge All liars until proven otherwise is a good rule to live by. I don't believe a word any man tells me nowadays. They all just seem to lie as easily as they breathe.

I meant loves not sponge

Sorry

I dont think you are pathetic, but it sounds quite painful Milk, and rather a complex sort of triangle.
I've been at all points of various triangles so I'm not in any position to cast aspersions

In the past I have set a deadline, along the lines of 'if things are no better in x amount of months I'm going to end this'
Despite thinking I'd not have the strength to stick to it, I usually did keep to the bargain that I made with my future self :)

(I hope that makes sense)

Or having a couple other men on the go may help to dilute your feelings for the fwb?

loves maybe, but this wasn't just an offhand 'I'll call you' when you know really there isn't a snowballs chance in hell they actually will . I've had that before many times, I've done it myself even and it comes as no surprise. But I'd have bet money on him contacting me, I really would. And I'm not spinning it to suit myself, everything suggested he was keen until I didn't hear from him.

milk it is tiring, you're right. 3 years of it on & off is getting me down. But the answer is only stop dating, and then I have months of not getting within 3 feet of a man and feel even worse. I really would like just once to get to a 2nd date but it seems as unlikely as it ever was :(

sorry about your fwb. loving someone and knowing they love someone else is the worst feeling in the world.

It's really painful loves. Also just incredibly frustrating. WHY does he choose to be with a girl who thinks so little of him she demands to be allowed to shag other men? When he could be with me, and be adored every day of his life?

My flatmates boyfriend is a friend of his, and he says the girlfriend is really weird. He doesn't like her at all.

Trouble is I know he will never leave her, so I guess the only deadline I can really set if they EVER actually decide to get engaged/move in together. Ideally I should just cut contact now but I'm not strong enough.

I'm trying to have other men on the go believe me I have no desire to mope around dying of love for this guy. It just isn't going very well unfortunately.

Thank you for thinking I'm not pathetic btw. I spend so much time berating myself for my feelings that it's nice to have a bit of validation.

i still think talk is cheap sponge, no matter how sincere it sounds, if you dont know someone very well how can you have any certainty about the likelihood or not of them being a bullshitter?

I'm generally very good at reading people, at spotting bullshit. The work I do often involves people being economical with the truth, telling me what they think I want to hear etc. It is rare I have the wool pulled over my eyes, professionally or personally. I can usually see through it a mile off. Not on this occasion though, it would seem.

OMFG.

He text me. 11pm tonight so very but still

Will reply to him tomorrow.

Sometimes you can just never tell hate It's easy to get deceived, so don't give yourself a hard time about it.

The OKC guy I went out with a few weeks ago was talking all about a local restaurant we should go too soon. He sounded totally genuine, and then later on told me he didn't fancy me (or words to that effect)

Doesn't make it any more disappointing though. I'm so sorry you are feeling like shite at the moment

you sound very together sponge:)
I fuck things up ad nauseam when it comes to luurve

Woo Hoo. Go hate

We will ignore the 11pm thing for the time being, and just go instead.

It was a very short text. But better than nothing.

I logged onto POF tonight - first time since weekend - just to see if I had any messages worth replying to (hahaha). Wonder if seeing that spurred him into action?

Men's minds are a mystery! (or a vacuum...which of those words do I mean?!)

11pm is early (in my book..but I am an owl)
vacuum or mystery they are probably not worth paying much attention to!