Time wasters need not apply, Soul Soothers come hither Dating Chat Part 11

[hatesponge]

Ta-da! Think this is the first one I've started.

I am still feeling somewhat feisty. Told my team off at work for being too noisy and was generally stroppy. Might have to go and start a row in AIBU or something!

So, dating, as you were etc

Not forgetting of course that I have a second date at the weekend!

Just want to know now when I will get to see him again. Cant wait. Hope we cab be lovers and friends. At least we should stay friends.

Well he Texted, so that's got to be good. I Texted back of course.

I've liked pof tho tbh notsure - although my first date went so swimmingly I'm not planning any others till he dumps me or throws me in the canal

How is your profile? I had to take advice from a rl friend as my first attempt was a bit shit. Also where are you geographically? If you live somewhere with a shortage of eligible men it doesn't matter what site you are on, or how busy it is, there will not be enough good 'uns to go round I guess!

You may have to
a) lower your standards, or,
b) move.

Neither of which would be a quick fix so back to the profie I would say. Also, send out messages yourself. See above re 15% (my own little survey - not strictly scientific) return rate on messages... also, ask time to have a look at your profile, she seems very wise on such matters.

MLM yay! Come join me in my gloaters corner... while it lasts

I am hoping it lasts a long long time not,that I expect too much but he certainly knows how to make ne want him.

mlm - just be careful, i know you really like him, and want more, but he has told you he doesnt and wants to be friends. Just dont get hurt, ok. Normally when a man tells you that ( or anything) he is telling you the truth. Its normally best to listen, dont get your hopes up and end up disapointed if it turns out he does actually want to be just friends.

snape - i second what time says, and really, its lovely what you have with pm. For all kinds of reasons maybe it hasnt gone any futher, but if he makes you happy and you gain so much out of it, then i cant see the harm really.

Time - yeah. Exactly what you have said. Things like it dont come along often, they really dont. Boundaries are difficult things though... they start off being there and then can slip easily.

misskl - all sounds fab

notsure - the dress thing - heck no. Fucking weird. Possibly some kind of easy access porn scenario he has played out in his head. dont do it. Id probably cancel to be honest.

I think I can handler it. And if nothing more happens, it will cos we have been texting this morning. well at least I know how it felt to kiss him and how i tingled. Wearing a dress next time he comes over. And yep we did more than kiss. ;-)

Hello, I should possibly join here have been on POF for a few months and erm... yes it is erm an experience

I have had a few dates, one who's pics make him look lovely but when we met he had lost lots of weight and several teeth and also lost the great job as absailer.....he is now a recovering heroin addict who contacts me now and again as he has moved closer to me eeekkk!!!

Then Kal the copper, who found my sons bike, then when I first joined POF he started saying things about my house, I was totally freaked out, thinking holy-moly how on earth can he tell that from my profile, then he confessed he was the policeman who had found my sons bike..(whew ~ relief), so we had a date but am thinking it was too soon and he took me to the cinema and right up to the back row, his hands were everywhere... I kept slapping them off me and put my hands inbewteen my legs and sat and watched the movie whilst counting the minutes until it ended, he then asked "where would you like to go now" it was 1am fgs so I whimpered "home please" then proceeded to lecture him all the way home on how "I did not need a man" . Yet 6 months later he still comes back?? but he doesn't drink or smoke and is way too polite for me.

Then there was James from Glasgow, who turned up totally pissed and still in his working clothes, we came back to mine for a cup of coffee and he announced "yeah I will just sleep on your couch tonight" erm... "no you will not ~ reaching for phone and calling taxi" he told me I should not be on the site, I was too nice EH??? The Taxi finally arrived and in he went for the snog all slavery and eugh!!

Then I left the site for a while

Re-joined, and spoke to erm...Rob for a while but he was very proud of the fact he had bedded over 100 females, erm.. yes very good, bye bye.

The there was a really nice guy whom I spoke with for a good week who then advised he also just wanted sex.

Why do they say they are looking to "date but noting serious" when they obviously are looking for "intimate encounters"

My last date was in February, with an American guy who travels back and forth from here to America, we were supposed to be meeting to "hang out", again he was very drunk Oh soooo full of himself, we sat in his flat for a while, listening to music and I let him ramble on about how successful he was for being 28... then when he went to the shops for more alcochol, I picked up bag and ran out of the building, into my car, then as I was driving away and very relieved, he started to call my phone and and again and again... I reached over to turn phone off and the car went with me, right into another car!! So spent the next 2 hours waiting for car to be towed...... Oh and also he told me where to park, it was "his space" (not) I also left with a parking ticket for a then written off car.

So for just now have changed profile to "friends" I have a HUGE profile ranting about how they should change their profile to "intimate encounters" and No I don't want to wear a strap ons and boss you around but yes you could come and do my ironing.... and no I don't want see you in suspenders and knee high boots, am also not into cross dressers and ball-busting (google it ~ I had to) although a good kick in the balls is beginning to sound very tempting!!

So am at the moment just chatting to men, too many men to be honest, so may have to make up a spread sheet with pros-cons and may attempt another date soon (after next week when I get my hair done) as have been chatting to a few (seemingly) very nice guys 2 who I find myself attracted to and 4 who I have lots in common with but no attraction there??? Oh and one I fancy the pants off but can tell he is a moody one.....

My Headline reads "If you are looking for a quick f@@k please move on"

So of course, I now get "how about a nice slow F@@k!" !Argh!! ~ blocked Then we have the young ones looking to have an experience with an older woman, jog on please, Or "how about I butter your muffin"?? erm... "how about I block you ~ blocked" or "hey sexxxyyyyyy u up 4 sum fun" ~ "why are you a clown???" ~ blocked. Then "hey sexxyy u got cam", erm... yes but am not into sitting here whilst you have a w@@k over me thanks

Then there was Valdek from Poland who called my a lying bitch as I said I would be on POF at 8.15pm and he had to wait until 9.20pm. tut tutt

Then David who was all up for meeting then decided he didn't want a meet as he was "not ready"... okay bye bye then.

Then James will come back on "so when you coming to mine"???I reply, "look how would you feel if I turned up on a date with you with greasy hair no-make up and big steel capped boots on", "so why did you kiss me" he asks ~ "to get you out of my house" ~ lesson learned no coming to the house ever again"

Oh and "buffbod" who is the same height as me but would like me to wear heels, but then I shall be taller than you "well ALL THE NICE girls I have met have worn them" okay, so "why are you still here then" - "because I need more attention", I told him I was giving up internet dating and heading to Tesco to find a man, he replied "well every little helps" Oh FGS ~ blocked!!

Or the HUGE Asian man...."I like u" "give me u cell" eeek even looking at his pic frightens me.... he is bouncer from Glasgow who is apparently un-indated with offers.....then he comes onto chat "why u block me", "i like u and no-one else" "give me u cell", erm.... no but I have changed my sim card 3 times now so no I will not give you my number and you scare the shit out of me tbh!!

Or Arvin the Indian "I am very ugly no-one will speak to me" awww shame so I speak to him...then I dont answer him withiin 5 secs "are you slept"..... no and it is" are you sleeping" or "are you asleep" NOT "are you slept" now he is telling me he is only looking for friend but then comes out with "I am not good at sex I come too quickly" .... Oh right "Perhaps you should buy The Sun and read Dear Derdrie, she has some great leaflets she can send you" but "Oh no I cannot tell anyone else this" "FGS, she isn't a real person (or is she.??), just go buy the Newspaper" then he comes back "I have been dirty ~ I watched porn and think that because I watched so much of it when younger I now come too quickly " okay too much information now..... just bloody go and buy the Newspaper.

I could go on but will leave it there for just now ..... I hope you are having more success than me, I also joined cheeky dates and have several messages but cannot read them until I pay £10 and to be honest am kind-of reluctant to pay this amount if it going to be the same as Plenty of pish sorry I mean Fish!

Well I've got a face like a sack of spuds this morning aaaargh and I'm seeing mr lovely again tonight eeek!
I've told him I am afflicted and he has responded in his usual lovely way so we shall see (Think 5 or 6 coldsores on top lip brought on by too much kissing at the weekend and thats how bad it is.)

MLM I feel & share your happiness - I think this thread is bringing good luck!

notsure yeah, has he mentioned stockings under the dress? weirdo. I'd go in combat trousers and big stompy boots. Or wear a dress with a chastity belt underneath (spanx should do the trick, get your big bridget Jones Knickers out)

MLM I kind of echo what watch is saying here - with all the will in the world, you are a bit new to this, you are still a bit vulnerabble from last relationship, i think.. He might be the absolute be all and end all, you might be married for 40 years and have 12 grandchildren and kisses are great! but please just be careful. I'm not saying all men are bastards, he might well be a good 'un, but do try and keep your feet (as Jessie J says) on solid ground.

Well, PM makes me happy and sad in equal part sometimes (on balance, happier..) The boundaries are a bugger, arent they? I'm a (relatively) normal 40-something year old woman. i have needs The harm is there I think, in being that close, that when someone else comes along for either of us dealing with the fall-out. time is right, it will take someone very, very special to make me want to be with them more than hanging out with PM - and the new person might be jealous or exteremley perceptive and realise I have this annoying unrequited thing. I was prone to horrible fits of jealous when he was dating last year..Nightmare (yes, I know, over-thinking and projecting (worst) possible scenarios) and where is this mythical man? certainly not on OKC (wearing a nappy...)

sigh, well. at least he isn't persuing dating at the moment & I'm doing it half-heartedly. every silver lining has it's cloud as they say.

ho-hum. to happier things! :)

Welcome tambasher your post has just cheered me up no end! Plenty Of Pish - I love it! my dd's dad is a useless idiot formerly of Clydebank as I was always a sucker for a rough Glasgow accent not the best criteria for forming meaningful relationships though.

Snapes I think he lurves you tbh. Why are some men such idiots at emotions fgs, so frustrating for you. In every sense of the word

just got this message on OKC, I thought I would share the pain. :)

"once upon a time a ms alexander became involved in the campaign to protect the native red squirrel from the invasive grey. one day she rescued one that had been savaged by all the other squirrels for hoarding his nuts and encouraging all the others that lived in fruitful nut producing trees not to share with all the other less fortunate squirrels over the years she found it evermore enticing the way his big bushy tail would brush against her more intimate lady areas the inevitable came to pass and one day naked she knelt doggy/squirrel style on her hands and knees tufty(for that was his name)climbed up the back of her thigh and impregnated her with his miniscule squirrel member she felt nothing and remained unresponsive tufty thrusted away like a sausage poking the blackwall tunnel bored but unwilling to appear rude ms a reached up to the shelf above for a book it slipped and the heavy tome fell and hit her on the head she began to moan suffer you bitch suffer roared tufty greatly encouraged as he squirted seed inside her in a unique and hopefully unrepeatable crossing of the squirrel /human species barrier a male offspring was producd from this disgusting bestial mating.......
they called him Danny"

he then has a go at me because he is a year older than my cut off yeah, that's the only thing that's not working in your favour here...

this is what I have to look forwards to, isn't it? dear. god.

tambasher you are my new favourite poster (yes, I am fickle like that!) welcome! :)

He's a keeper Snapes for sure

Tambasher I want to urge you to be much more careful!!
from your post it sounds as if you are putting yourself in situations where you are very vulnerable with men who are drunk/dodgy/predatory.

Also ranting in your profile is often not a good idea, it flags you up as someone who has had problems with dodgy types and can make you a magnet for further dodgy types

notsure I go along with what's been said, I'm a bit prickly about the clothes thing as I used to have an Ex who told me what to wear controlling shitbag so it rings alarm bells with me. (Mine however used to like me to wear long, floaty clothes, I think so other men wouldn't look at me )

Snape I think what you have with PM is great, the risk is that if anything 'more' ever happens you may lose an amazingly close friendship. I am not the best person to ask though, as the majority of my close friendships with men have always imploded for that reason. Agree though that any new man would have to be very special indeed to equal what you have with him :)

Not much to report, other than that I am now the mother of an 11 year old, it is Sponge Minor's birthday today

His father bought him a Blackberry and £200 worth of 'designer' clothes .

tambasher - that is a fab post. fantastic. pretty much sums up online dating ;)

snape - really - the mind boggles.

snape ye gods .

If he gets even one reply to that I would be astonished. Squirrel porn FFS?!

sponge - congrats on being a mother of an 11 year old. you dont possibly look old enough :)

and fuck the blackberry and ' desginer clothes' children cannot be brought, though men do tend to think they can. and good luck for the party and everything :)

did you ever hear anything from the barbour at all, or did he just totally vanish?
not going to ask about sats date ;)

i might have a date for the weekend. The builder who fucked up last week text me again how sorry he was and didnt want me to think hes a dick when hes not. We text a bit and i might, so long as hes not useless before the weekend, have a quick drink in the afternoon.

I know, if we end up together, great, if not, well we had some good times. At least he is still in contact. Don't worry I won't be falling in love until I know for sure. But I will enjoy the moment. I want more and surely now he knows it.

Morning all,

I haven't been on for a while, and wow, does this thread move fast! I have a LOT of catching up to do.

I feel that I should share this gem of a message that I got on OKC this morning though...

'I would do battle with a group of hippopotamus with nothing more than the contents of a McDonald's happy meal, jump into a pirahna infested river with two rhinoceros beetles gnawing my testicles, and dive to the depths of the ocean with nothing but Justin Bieber's farts as my air supply just to have a 1% chance to sit next to the guy who sat next to you on the bus on your way to work.'

On his profile it also states that his aim in life is to 'Make every woman within a 15 miles radius gush like Niagara Falls'

Oh, and my friend and I are going to a Lovestruck event near St Paul's tonight. You go to a bar full of (hopefully) hot eligible single men. If you want to be chatted up you have to ask for a red straw to drink through. It sounded like fun so thought we would give it a go. Wish me luck

Milk, that sounds like fun. :) (the lovestruck event, not gushing like niagara falls. that just sounds uncomfortable and potentially hazardous)

Watch thank you :) I do have a 13 (nearly 14) year old as well, definitely don't look old enough for that . I don't mind about the presents that's what I've come to expect from the Ex, he's getting a camera from me, a fraction of the cost but something he really wants :)

Hope the builder doesn't annoy you before Sat. all credit to him for coming back and apologising tho.

Nothing from any of my men, they have clearly all been sucked into some dating form of the Bermuda triangle localised around north Kent

Milk hope tonight goes well! I actually quite liked that msg, shame about the comment on his profile though, yuck!

Tambasher you have just confirmed all the reasons why I am definitely not ready for online dating!!!

I had a look on POF (after following some of the links posted on here) for Glasgow and the results gave me the SHUDDERS!!!

They arent all bad though. All that I have met have been nice and some have wanted a 2nd date, but right now I am VERY off limits. But I have been messed around too, and even got a message when I first started i messaged him back saying did I want to suck him, like err no. So I said I am not that type of girl, to get told he reckoned I was. No I am NOT.

The Scotsman I met on Sat is from Glasgow...