Time wasters need not apply, Soul Soothers come hither Dating Chat Part 11

[hatesponge]

Ta-da! Think this is the first one I've started.

I am still feeling somewhat feisty. Told my team off at work for being too noisy and was generally stroppy. Might have to go and start a row in AIBU or something!

So, dating, as you were etc

Not forgetting of course that I have a second date at the weekend!

Still no text. Well, that's that, I clearly won't be hearing from him now. I just don't understand men, on the basis of last night he could not have fancied me more. And now nothing :(

Hopefully by tomorrow the cloud of disappointment will have lifted.

Sponge I am so sorry!! Why are some men such shits?? Maybe he's doing the whole rules thing .. not phoning for a couple of days etc?

Even if that is the case do you want someone who does that?? Especially someone who is not going to be around for long ..

Doesn't make it any less crappy though! (((hugs))) (not sure why people say umumsnetty hugs??)

Unless he is still recovering from last night. Anyway men are jerks. God knows, got my 19 year old from Thursday night, oh I don't know. I want to, course, be is younger, fit and can keep up with me, which is difficult LOL, but Mr just friends I want long term. I don't want to ruin our chances either.

Sorry Sponge :-(

I'm officially handing in the towel guys, internet dating is just not for me. I have Mr Poorly begging for sympathy and diagnoses via text message, mr obsessive sending me constant identical messages (Hi xxx / Hi, hows you? xxx / Hi, did you get my last two messages? hows you? xxx ) FUCK OFF.
I have Mr GhostHunter who only replies to my messages when he's bored and now Mr Nurse who has just answered my "do you children live with you?" question by answering "no, I just have them term time and half of the holidays" so that's a yes then? surely??

Can't be arsed with it! Good luck everyone.

I suppose he thought you meant as in all the time.

My 19 year old wants to see me again, but not a relationship, so what you doing on a dating site? Mr just friends i think is the way to go.

chicken, it's crucial to identify and not engage with the wastes of space, otherwise internet dating gets old very quickly (as you've found)
in other words 'do not cast your pearls before swine' :)

chicken - as loves said. Plus if you keep engaging with the poorly one, he will keep talking to you, better to just ignore.. you have never met, you down owe him anything.

mlm - there are 100's of men possibly all of them that are on a dating site but that are not wanting a relationship.

sponge - yay for the fab date, boo for the lack of contact. and yes, its ridiclously shit and hurtful. I do hope he gets in contact, but like you im cynical and sadly know the longer it goes on and he hasnt, the l ess likely it is that you will hear from him. Things like tiredness or working dont cut int when you can send a text in 3 seconds..... fucking men!

Im back to feeling crappy again, not as bad as last weekend, but i do feel sad. Im not depressed, im just lonely. It seems to be a really awful thing to say that, but i am. And ive had a fun and busy weekend, but then its always me, on my own, every evening, week in, week out. And id quite like a cuddle and some human closeness. And people say to get out and have a full life, which i do. But i still come back and its just me. On my own. Again.

I didnt hear from mr 41 year old either. Few texts swapped the following day, and thats that. The other phone also didnt call me as he said, Text to say hes back late and would call me tomorrow, repeat the next day, sunday, heard nothing. Not chasing him. And yes, i know, its not me, its them, but for gods sake, i deserve some bloody luck at some point huh.

My friend has been seperated for less than a year. She randomly met a man 6 months ago and hes now met her children and is playing happy families... and i just dont get it.Like - how that even works? when i cant eve get a second date?

You just haven't met the right person watch

yes, yes i know. But fuck, im lonely. Its been so long since ive even just had a hug from a male that, well. just. its shit.
i am just heartily sick of being on my own, i really am. No amount of exciting activities, or fun things to do erase that fact.
It seems to be a bit taboo to say that, doesnt it. But it is true.

watch I really do feel for you. I suppose I am lucky with ny "musty friend" cos he always gives the best hugs, so I do get some male closeness and contact. And if it leads to note, fantastic, if not we can still hug.

Life is a bitch. I have in the last 5 and a bit months been incredibly lucky, but its been stressful and soul destroying. I like you, get lonely too, thing is this is the longest I have been single since 13, ten years of always having someone to hold me, and I miss it. I miss being.in my group of mainly boys, always having someone to hug. One day, Hopefully soon, you will find someone. Mr 19 year,old knows I have someone I could be more than friends with.

I'm sorry you are feeling low again watch, I hate to think of you feeling so sad. You do deserve the hugs, kisses and good company you crave, you really do and I hope that very soon you meet a man worthy of you.

I'm pretty boring really, I think. I don't have exciting activities, the most fun things I do are baking with DD, or girly days in town, again with DD. I go walking, I've started doing yoga and am going to start pilates but only on a dvd in front of the tele. I read, a lot, and I listen to music and sing my head off, badly. Almost everything I do I either do alone or with DD but, one thing I never feel is lonely. I love my own company. That's what puts me of having a relationship, I don't want someone in my space all the time, I wouldn't mind it occasionally but not all the time. I can see myself in a little one bed flat when I'm older, living happily alone with my cat and budgie.

I am at the other end of the scale to you watch I don't think having lot's of fun activities stops a person from feeling lonely, it's not the activities or the fun you are longing for, it's someone to share them with, to talk about afterwards with, to laugh about with. I get where you are coming from.

time - honesltly - 3 weeks ago i felt like you do, i dont know where this has come from really. Its just hit that im lonely and want to spend time with somone romatically. Not friends or family.
I held a bbq/party here saturday, had a housefull ( i was the only single person) When they went home the silence was deafening.
I went to a car boot with people yesterday, then a giant plant sale, then had lunch out. Came home, sat with dd and just felt lonely.

Im not depressed, i dont feel bad about myself, or worthless or anything like that. I just feel fed up of being on my own.

Im used to being on my own, normally more isolated than i am now ( germany, no car, family or friends, husband always away) but i never felt lonely. I just feel lonely.

I dont really know what i can do to solve the issue really either.

I don't know what you can do either watch, other than try not to focus on being lonely, but there again, how the heck do you do that? This is a hard one!

Idea! Do you want me to look at your profile and see if we can add to it/change it so it possibly attracts a 'different' kind of man? Shall we have a google and try some different sites? I might join you in that one cos POF is meh! Are you looking for something different now to what you were three weeks a go? Would you say you are looking for a life partner, a long term, proper, relationship rather than just fun? Are you now looking for The One?

I think if you feel you are doing something different to change your situation you might feel a little bit better, it sort of gives you a bit of hope, something to look forward to, that element of surprise.

Maybe the day will come that I feel just like you. Right now I still feel as if I'm in the 'honeymoon' period of being single, even though I've been single over two years. I still appreciate the freedom I have gained, but maybe I won't always feel like this. Maybe one day I might actually want a man in my space! Gulp!

Gosh leave the thread for a few days and all sorts happens! Sponge I had a date Saturday and sounds like yours was have you heard from yours yet? I hope so.

So thanks to you all for the advice re my walk along the canal situation! I followed the advice and text him on Friday to say that would prefer somewhere more public for an evening date. He was very lovely about it and we met in a pub instead. He then text and said it was his first ever internet date so he was nervous meeting me I thought that was a nice thing to tell me, and aah, swoon turns out he is very lovely!! The 'date' ended up being 25 hours long...

Chicken maybe a break for a while or a change in site is all you need? Is it pof you are on atm? I was on a rubbish site last year, (elitedating.co.uk) had issues like you've been having and I left it. It was a rl friend who persuaded me to try again and I'm now glad she did. Even if this one doesn't turn out to be the MR KL , it has restored my faith in interent dating iyswim? Different people meet their partners on different sites i've noticed, we are all different in rl and one site is not alwys going to be good for all of us.

Right am off to catch up with rest of thread now!

I have worked out what I want, and who I want it from, just hope he will at some point feel the same. I have wondered if he is taking it slowly. Cos he knows ny history, some of it, well almost all that I will tell, there is more, maybe one say I will let him read what I write in ny book.

I am still on dating sites though, just chatting, having a laugh. And I obviously am not that bad I can't find someone else. My.confidence is returning. I am me again, and loving it, any one I am with has to make being with them feel better than I feel most the time. It feels right in ny just friends arms. Iykwim?

time - you can do, ill pm you.

i dont belive in 'the one', loads of bollocks :) im not even looking for long term, short term would be fine. Im just looking for soething more than one date. To spend a little time together...

new free sites might be a good idea too.

failing that capt jack sparrow on my door step would work wonders :)

misskeith - glad it went well, hope he calls.

I get ya watch. Anyway, if you meet the right man for short term it's going to turn into long term anyway.

I will get googling for new free sites. That Captain Jack Sparrow is lovely to look at but his willy isn't much to talk about, you would be very disappointed after the willies you've had experience of so I think we will stick with the free sites for now.

yes, just had a look at muddy matches. total of 4 pages of men in the 29-39 age bracket - £18 for a month...lol, dont think so!!!

im in suffolk, there doesnt seem much in this area, if anyone finds something with more than 4 pages of men, do let me know :) or some gem on pof. or capt jack with an enhanced penis...

Time - am I correct in thinking it was you who put link to you pof profile - the unleashed IE one (made me laugh at the unleash) So, I looked at it and thought it was lovely btw, thought you come across as a woman who knows what she wants and articulated it well. I'd have even broken my 'no dates from H**' (your home town) self-imposed rule had three rubbish experiences with men from there and put it on list of unreasonable self imposed criteria if I'd been a man looking for a woman! I'm TheSinglePringle on there so you may have noticed I'd looked, thought should say on here!

watch I totally know how you feel. I've been like that myself and am aware that one night of shagging will not change this but am fucking ridiculously happy to have had it at least Its a weird one admitting being lonley i think. I have two kids a job and friends etc etc. But its not the same as having someone to share it all with, from the mundane & crap, to the fun nights out. I have sometimes just felt so single and alone, even surrounded by people. It is sad in a way, but it is also get-throughable i think. I have had low times and then others where I am misskl the sassy single who doesn't need a man. My advice is to let your rl friends & family know how you feel, thats how I've coped with being on my own it does help to unburden at times, if not, we are all here for you with stories &

oh yes, and he's called we are busy arranging date three so naughty stuff already done is not so shameful . First date on Sat ran into date two on Sunday with no gap in between.... am thinking the walk along the canal might be ok now!

MissKeithLemon yes, that is me And thank you for the compliments! I am certainly a woman who knows what she wants, just attract a lot of what I don't want! You sound to have hit the jackpot! Well done!

I've just snuck a look at your profile MrsKeith and it's great! .

I have given up on mine and still feel utterly disappointed. He was nervous about meeting me, he DID really like me. He gave me a lift home yesterday, offered, I didn't ask him or anything. He wasn't in a hurry to get me on my way - I only left then cos I had stuff to do. He said he was so pleased he had met me and that he wanted to see me again. I said I hoped so and he said no, definitely. And he'd said that the previous night too. There is nothing more I could have done, there is no way he could have appeared any more keen than he did. And still nothing. I can't pretend I'm not disappointed because I am.

Sorry that is very me me me :(

Watch, I get how you feel. I try not to think about it much because if I do I think it will overwhelm me.

Don't apologise Sponge, you are entitled to feel disappointed. He built you up to expect more, he should have been honest or kept his gob shut.