Welcome to the Turning Tavern

[Gay40]

This is a thread for women who unexpectedly (or not) find themselves attracted to another woman.

I have just got home went back to hers for a cuppa or three

Had a great lunch, lots of laughing and messing about taking photos etc

I am utterly confused though, we were talking about tv shows and she said she really liked a certain actor and liked big butch manly men, so I was a bit but though oh well at least I didn't make a prat out of myself but then we had the following text exchange:

(I am not entirely comfortable copying her texts out but if she ever sees this it'll probably be the last thing she's worrying about!)

Thank you for a lovely day xx (me)

I am so glad u r my friend my life is a much richer place with u in it xx (her)

I feel the same, you are already my best friend and I'd be lost without you xx (me)

Bless u my boys said after just 1 wk xxxx is ur best friend. BFF lol xxx (her)

Lol they are such brilliant kids, I actually miss you all when I'm at home! You are a really special lady xxx

I no how u feel when u left ur charger here i really missed ur txts xx (her)

It was horrible not being able to text you, I got straight up in the morning and went and got a new charger just so I could text you xx (me)

Thats y i offered to bring it too u xx (her)

You are so lovely, it's so nice to have someone I can just be myself and be honest with. I know it's a cliche but I've never in my life met someone I've connected with they way I have with you xx (me)

U are also so lovely can not believe any1 can be as kind an thoughtful as u r. I have found it very easy to feel relaxed with u an my kids love you xx (her)

Your kids are amazing, because they have an amazing mom. You don't know how special you are. I've never met any one like you xx (me)

U make me sound like a star im just the same as u xx (her)

But you are far more gorgeous lol xx (me)

Noooo im not thats just silly ur r beautiful xx (her)

You are, it's not just the way you look it's your personality too. You light up the room. I have a bit of a crush on you lol xx (me)

Lol im just a bit of a gobby cow really xx (her)

So, do you see why I'm confused

I really like her.

oh God, sleep, you HAVE told her about you having a crush - I must say very softly with no pressure, well done for the courage. Your texts with all hte kisses and compliments do read like exchange between two budding lovers - but her talking about men hmmm, could she mean just visually like or fancy though? I know it wolud be too much to ask directly but the only way is to try and ask whether she'd get involved with a (butch!) man again..?

Oooh that is confusing :/ similar thing happened to me and I eventually had to just say "look I like you" and wait for the world to collapse in on me. Fortunately in my case it was mutual, but gosh it's a big step to take ...

Oh sleepless she hasn't made things any clearer has she?

Thinking rationally (not easy I know) if she said to you 'I fancy you like mad and wish we could get together', would you in your heart feel that was absolutely the right thing for you? and therefore be prepared to end your relationship with your DP? Because if you do declare soon - I mean, go for the hold your nose and jump, leave-her-in-no-doubt approach like juney - and that's her response, that's the choice you'll be facing.

In answer to Gays post, I've been a Domestic Goddess and Supernanny today.

Arf.

Actually I'd like to know precisely how many hats I had on today in my various roles:
Chef
Taxi driver
Referee
Nurse
Entertainer
Personal Dresser
Mender of little plastic shite
Crowd control expert
Teacher
Painter and Decorator (pre-lunch)

'mender of little plastic shite'

I had to physically break up a fight between 5yo dd and 3yo dd this afternoon. They were knocking seven bells out of each other over a jigsaw. I despair sometimes, I really do.

Juney, I bet that was scary. Very glad it went well, did you have an inkling before you told her?

I have never been this confused in my whole life.

I actually think I would leave dp for her.

Our lives, home and finances seem to be completely dominated by little plastic shite. Broken little plastic shite, new ranges of little plastic shite, where has the latest precious little piece of plastic shite been left, little plastic shite embedded in your foot.
It's hardly the lifestyle that Diva would have you believe.

Sleepless ...... sloooooooow

sleepless you can ignore this if you want but something is bothering me a bit so I might as well mention it now - if you did tell her how you feel and she says she doesn't reciprocate, do you think she would be discreet and keep it to herself?

I'm just concerned about the possibility of it getting back to your DP. I'm wondering if you might be wise to hold off making any declaration to her until you've decided if you and your DP have a future together. If you feel that you are likely to separate at some point regardless of what happens between you and your WIQ then it's not so important. But if you're thinking that you're only likely to end your relationship with your DP in the near future if you get a positive response from WIQ you need to tread carefully. If he finds out he might decide that's that between you sooner rather than later.

Sorry to throw a gloomy note into the proceedings but as Gay might put it - just saying.

Evening all. Had a boring day at work today, just got DC down and scoffed a gigantic plate of pasta, feeling bit ill now but not ill enough to stop me scarfing some choc in a bit

Hmm, sleep sounds like still a confusing situation wrt how WIQ feels. No offense meant, but do you think your feelings for WIQ will prompt you to take some time to take a step back and re-evaluate your rlx with your DP at some point? I came right out with my feelings to my crush and whilst it was, well crushing, to be told she didn't feel the same and I had indeed misread the situation, I felt better that at least I was out of my misery. BTW not judging you - I actually developed feelings for my crush prior to separation from STBXH and had she felt the same, I'm not sure what would have happened.

World I'm thinking along similar lines to you. The lesbian couple I know, I don't know if I would feel able to ask about how I can get out and about and meet people, but not sure what else to do other than hope someone happens along It's a shame you're at the opposite end of the country to me, as whilst this thread is brilliant and I'm so glad I found it, I'd like at some point to connect with people in RL. Sigh.

My bete noir just now is stickers on the soles of my socks. Usually Peppa Pig ones.

Oh, cross posts with others along similar lines.

You are both right, I know I am just getting caught up in the new exciting stuff and getting carried away.

I think it would scare the life out of me if she actually said she liked me too

Gay I sympathise on the little plasti shite front... as they get older the little plastic shite just multiplies and gets blummin' smaller.

I don't know if the situation with Sleepless's WIQ is misread or not but I know that it cannot gallop along at this pace and be healthy and sustainable.

I kind of miss little plastic shite I have been teenager wrangling today.

That's what triggered my message of doom above Gay - she's known her WIQ such a short time, she doesn't know her well enough to know how she might react if sleepless tells her how she feels. And she's not giving anything away re whether she really might return those feelings.

my biggest concern for sleepless's partner is that she is being egged on to cheat on him by a bunch of women on t'internet

how lovely

why is ok just because it's a woman ? Cheating is cheating and if a bloke were being given "rahhh rahhh, you go dude!" cheerleading encouragement to do the dirty on an unsuspecting partner there would be a bloody outcry

some of you sound like a bunch of teenagers, get a grip, fgs

theturningtavern.freeforums.org/the-tavern-f3.html

Well, a post up above got me thinking and I've set us up a little forum if we want it. I've made it as private as I can, only people who have requested membership can join and general public can see it exists but shouldn't be able to read it (will check). If you think it's a bad idea I'm happy to let it go, but we do have a lot of messages and it would be quite nice to be able to start our own threads on different aspects without having to cram it all on here.

Come over and give it a go if you like.

Sleepless, you gave her the perfect opportunity to confess feelings for you and she didn't. I echo others' concern about how fast this is going and have a feeling of unease about it.

AF... the people on this thread have no loyalty to anyone else's partner. It's simply a place where they can hammer through the fog to try and work things out in their own head.
I don't believe anyone ever cheated on their partner because a few anonymous names on the internet said they should.
No doubt Sleepless and others are painfully aware of fidelity issues already, and reminding them of that without offering anything else other than criticism is hardly productive.

cheerleading infidelity is hardly productive either, I am surprised at you, Gay

so no-one has loyalty to other poster's partners ? That's an excuse now is it to champion this kind of dodgy behaviour ?

yuk

has one person at least suggested that before she cheats with another person, she exits her current relationship ? I don't see it. I saw Bunny speak up much earlier on in the thread, and I agree with her

why do the usual rules of Relationships not apply on this thread ?