I shouldn't be upset about this should I?

[PleaseLeaveGeorge]

But I am upset I know it's none of my business and nothing to do with me but I can't unhear what I heard iyswim.

I have been with dp for a couple of years now and always had a very adventurous sex life, usually quite experimental and he has pushed my boundaries although not overstepped them.

He always made it very clear all this stuff was new to him, that he was nervous, that it was special to us etc

But, I bumped into his ex today and we got chatting. She seems nice, I knew who she was but hadn't spoken to her before. We were talking about dp and his annoying habits and she said "well he was always a dirty bugger lol" I asked what she meant and it turns out that everything we had done for the first time he had ready done with her and I know she is telling the truth as it came from her with no input from me and she was spot on with the stuff we do.

It's not run of the mill stuff, it is based on a lot of trust and it seems he told us both how much it meant to him that we could do this together etc

I feel dirty!

I think the thing about him pretending to be doing all this stuff for the first time, is so he could avoid you seeing him as the kind of scumbag who likes urinating on his female partner's faces. Knowing that about your partner is going to make you think less of him.

I'd also say three cheers for the ex telling you this. If ex partners of abusive men could tell the new partner what they were like it would save a a lot of women a whole lot of heartache. Sadly the way things are set up at the moment it's supposed to be a catfight over the worthless man who nobody could want. His only way to maintain his value is to lie, as soon as the truth comes out there's nothing left.

Wishing you luck PleaseLeave. You deserve better than this.