nothing can drag you down when you're not holding on...

[chocoraisin]

Hello :)

I've decided that blog or no blog, I can't imagine not having all of you fabulous people to turn to in the next couple of months while I count down to baby arriving. So I've jumped ship from the old thread and decided to set up camp here.

would anyone like a ?

(((HUGS))) hey Dharma!! You are forgiven for having a RL as well as a MN life lol.

right, no news to report, big plan for the day is to Tesco shop. Rock and roll!

Having a bit of a flap though, as I've just been let down by the venue for DS's birthday party, and now have to find somewhere else to hold it as well as let everyone know who's been invited (grrrr ) which is definitely not what I want to be doing while imminently anticipating baby. So much for being organised!! No way do I want to do the party at mum and dad's house, as it would be far too crazy with 15 or so children and 20+ adults around. :( gah, am really cross!! Bloody, bloody hell!

oh buggeration...you could do without that.
I hope you find an alternative venue quickly.

Hi Chocs - can I dare to suggest

Yeah he's only 2 honey. He won't even remember it!

That was my immediate thought- cancel it, you have an excuse! - but then I thought, wind yer neck in, Currants, what do you know?
But do cancel it! We are having a friend to play in the garden. Four adults, two 2 year olds, the snacks will be of a slightly higher quality and I will get a cake at the supermarket. He doesn't know! Halleujah, he doesn't yet have any idea what a birthday is! Mind you we are super meanies, but honestly. . . He would be overwhelmed and not yet really enjoy it. Your DS is probably much more mature but it does sound like so much bloody work. Why not have a special tea with Grandparents and maybe a particular friend, and cake?

Hi Choco, see how brave I'm getting - 2 posts!
If your DS is anything like my DD was, helium balloons were enough to make any day a party day!
Explain to the parents what's happened and that you'll rearrange for another date once Bean has arrived (a fantastic idea Slam!) and have a whole chocolate cake to yourself along with one for everyone else to share :)

lol you are all very sensible. I am listening I promise :) the thing is... If it were only DS's bday I would completely agree and do a family thing at home. However the plan was a bit of a catch all - DS isn't two til the end of July, so the do was partly a way of avoiding having heaps of people turn up to see the baby (who should be 3 weeks by then) at the house, by saying come along to this and meet him then! It's also a token gesture to my 30th bday which is in a fortnight. I can't bear the thought of lots of 'helpful' people trying to jolly me along and celebrate that, as well as the endless trickle of visitors I had when DS was born.

I was kind of hoping that ear marking a 3 hour window on one particular day to 'celebrate' everything would get it all taken care of and I could pretty much just hide while my sisters and parents deal with the actual party (and being great hosts/bloody cheerful about everything) for me. I'm not going to spend a fortune or go mad trying to have a fantastic bash now though thats for sure. The venue that cancelled was a bit too good to be true - a local pre-school that only wanted a few quid for us to use all their equipment, kitchen etc. I should have remembered that when things seem too good to be true they usually are!! Never mind, it's not the end of the world.

Boy have I woken up in a foul mood today though, I have to admit. No reason whatsoever. I really hope a nice hot shower will wash the gremlins away a bit and I'll cheer up... definitely feeling the hormonal changes right now!! I wouldn't want to piss me off today that's for sure!!

You have every reason to be in a foul mood honey! Heavily pregnant, extwunt & ow, hassles re birthday party, it's amazing you're as cheerful & positive as you usually are!

You are absolutely off of your rocker Choco

The people who come to the party won´t think that means that they shouldnt come to see the baby - you will just see them twice!!!

If you can get away with cancelling (perfect excuse re venue) I would as you´ll no doubt be making tea for squads just after you give birth ... have a wee thing for DS and his grandparents and I´m sure he´ll love it just as much

I admire your optimism, choco, but as Kirsty says, if people are determined to see the baby (and unless you're willing to do a stern "please wait until the party to see the baby" email) they'll just bloody well show up anyway! Mind you, if you think your sisters will do the work it does sound like a good plan to have them do it while you smile graciously and pass around the newborn. I am suspicious, though, it just sounds like mountains and mountains of work when you'll still be sore from the CS.... (but then I am a lazy caaah and I never did owt after DS was born, sat on my bum watching cartoons breastfeeding and gazing adoringly at DS MNing and LOVING it, I did! will absolutely do the same again for as long as I can this time!)

I just spent today putting away non-maternity clothing and sorting through what I have for the next 14 9 months. I bet you're looking forward to NOT wearing maternity gear for a bit, eh? :)

HA now there is optimism. I'll be in my stretchy jeans for another 3-4 months no doubt I don't plan to give away the maternity bundle just yet that's for sure!

You may all be right. I am probably mad :) however, I have on my side 2 formidable things: My parents are the gatekeepers to this house, not me, so can (and no doubt will) police the randoms from showing up - god bless em! Also, my two sisters who just LOVE to organise the world and his wife, not to mention a party. I am quite prepared to cancel at the last minute though, I don't feel particularly obliged to follow through on any plans. I figure I'd rather give myself the option to go ahead, as well as the option to cancel at this stage. I may surprise myself!

Why oh why do I keep getting irritatingly irregular BH contractions? it's not fair!! Every time I think something exciting is happening it turns out I'm just wishful thinking. Gah

STBXH has sent his second 'I'm so excited to meet baby soon' email today I have given up entirely on trying to make sense of him. Obviously the solicitors letter only worked for about 10 days, and despite clearly stating do not contact me until after the birth he has decided that means, contact me whenever you feel like it after some token radio silence. It did go to the 'ignore the nob' folder in my emails, but I stupidly read it anyway - note to self, must try harder to disengage. But honestly, what on earth does he have to be excited about? You might expect him to feel sad, disappointed in himself and the situation, not happy and excited about the imminent birth that he's going to miss anyway. I don't know - I sort of expected the birth to be a bit of a reality check for him. Seems not hey? It really is just completely bizarre.

ah but twat ex's have a distant relationship with reality dont they- thats exactly why they behave the way the do while married and after.
He's probably bigging himself up to OW and work colleagues about the support he is offering you and how excited he is (cos its all about him, yeah)

As for the 'ignore the nob' folder- you must do exactly what it says on the tin . Do not open it again until long after you have had bean, and you are back to feeling enough spare head space for him.

Yes twunt isn't this all just a jolly jape? Gorgeous ickle baby package will soon be here! FFS Get real mate! You'll be at arm's length for quite some time! Idiot!

choco, I can hack your email account and change the rule to 'delete this self-absorbed pile o'shite from my ex' if you like

(I can't do that, obviously, but would it help to actually send them to another email account rather than just a folder?)

lol @ tribpot

baby swung round and took up residence back to back last night. Freaking OWWWW is all I can say, PGP has notched up a level. That's it! I'm cracking on with eating enormous amounts of pineapple and wandering around on all fours

DS has had the most incredibly naughty day today too, just to push me to my limits. Making a break for it up a 45 degree incline and running full pelt towards an open canal was probably the highlight. Ever seen a pregnant lady with a crook pelvis run? Really, really fast? Yeah. That should shake the baby outa there... lol. Caught him about 10cm from the edge though, thank god. Toddlers!!

OMG that sounds terrifying! Well done for catching him when so heavily preggo!

I hope Bean is almost ready for a natural start..sounds very sore :( Hugs and love for your sore hips xx

Ouch! Feel sorry for you , my DD was back to back too with SPD so I totall understand the pain!

Have you got reins for DS? To save you having to run again, lol.

I tried eating pineapple too and reflexology, nothing worked though!

I do have reins, forgot them today but boy did I learn my lesson!! I'm going to have a nice warm bath and an early night asap. Thanks for the love :) I'm halfway through my second pineapple and still nothing lol - not sure how much more I can face! Oh well, gotta be outta there next week...

Ouch I do sympathise! DD4 was breech, managed to get her to turn with moxibustion & bang, back to back from 34 weeks until the head crowned & she spiralled out! SPD like you wouldn't believe - its like walking on razor blades isn't it?! Ouch!!

My DD turned as she came out too!

It's horrible isn't it?? DS1 was B2B but got stuck on the way out, leading to our emergency delivery which is the reason for a c-sec this time round. Horribly painful experience. Ugh. Oh well, at least I know I'm having a section come what may - I won't be expected to 'see how it goes' thank goodness.

Hmmmm, thought of a research project for my MSc! The correlation between persistent occipital posterior presentations in labour & twunt fathers who run for the hills when required to grow up!

Wow choco I have just read your posts from start to finish. You are a seriously amazing lady. But then everyone here knows that.

I just wanted to say that I was in a similar position to you 8 years ago. My XH had actually managed to get both me and OW pregnant at the same time (what a guy!). And reading your posts is just so heart breaking and so inspiring too.

BUT my life now (and frankly that of my DS) is so much better than it would have been. With no financial support from him I now own my own house, have quadrupled my salary, and from my career to my family and friends, my life is so much richer. As for him, I had a call last year from someone claiming to be a psychiatrist (is that code for new MIL??) asking if he'd ever been controlling, selfish, abusive, depressed and moody narcissist. So, turns out, whether that person were bonafide or not, it really was 'him, not me'.

My XH gave me freedom. He knew he wasn't up to the job and he was right. Thank God he realised. As for divorce grounds, FWIW, I did him for unreasonable behaviour - a list the full side of A4. It must have killed him that I didn't hold the affair against him - it was absolutely everything else.

I'm sure you will have a journey ahead but you are already so much more positive in the early days than I ever was. If my life is as good as this, yours is going to be awesome, you already have a head start on me.

Hi choco - ooh, the idea of you legging it towards that canal made me wince with pain! We have a "Backpack" http://www.amazon.com/Brica-By-My-Side-Safety-Harness-Backpack/dp/B004LE8ZYO/ref=sr_1_9?ie=UTF8&qid=1340843954&sr=8-9&keywords=kid+backpack+harness ( these reins!) for DS and honestly if I don't get him in it while he's actually still sitting in his carseat, he's halfway across the carpark and about to lick a moving truck... my reflexes have improved since becoming a mother, but not THAT much! I'm afraid he goes in his pushchair much more than he'd like, just because a walk around the block becomes a series of death-defying dashes up people's drives, into people's gardens (yes, I know they have a swingset, NO, we are not going to 'wingwing' right now), and of course towards moving vehicles. I can't WAIT until he learns some impulse control, but I'm not expecting that to happen in the next, ooh, 3 years! :)

Wishing you lots of rest if at all possible/comfortable, and at least some cathartic swearing, if not! xxx

Hi choco - ooh, the idea of you legging it towards that canal made me wince with pain! We have a "Backpack" http://www.amazon.com/Brica-By-My-Side-Safety-Harness-Backpack/dp/B004LE8ZYO/ref=sr_1_9?ie=UTF8&qid=1340843954&sr=8-9&keywords=kid+backpack+harness these reins! for DS and honestly if I don't get him in it while he's actually still sitting in his carseat, he's halfway across the carpark and about to lick a moving truck... my reflexes have improved since becoming a mother, but not THAT much! I'm afraid he goes in his pushchair much more than he'd like, just because a walk around the block becomes a series of death-defying dashes up people's drives, into people's gardens (yes, I know they have a swingset, NO, we are not going to 'wingwing' right now), and of course towards moving vehicles. I can't WAIT until he learns some impulse control, but I'm not expecting that to happen in the next, ooh, 3 years! :)

Wishing you lots of rest if at all possible/comfortable, and at least some cathartic swearing, if not! xxx