I think my husbands cheating

[fizzyizzy]

Oh God. Hes just gone out to a clients house and I have been tidying his wardrobe. I wasn't snooping. I looked in his gym bag - its so like him to leave his dirty gym kit in there and I've found a phone. It's not his phone, I've never seen it before. There is no reason for him to have another phone. I'm worried that this is a secret phone. That he's having an affair. I can't believe im writing this. He is the a great husband and a brilliant father to our three month old little girl. We are happy and we hardly ever argue. We've been together 8 years we've been through so much together. But I have this niggling doubt. My hearts pounding. What do I do????

I'd keep the phone, and if possible try to say nothing for the time being. see how he behaves. So sorry for you.

I thought what viggle said. I don't suppose there are texts saying "see you Thursday" or anything?

are you going to reply?

oh dear. i think you may have just blown your cover OP. he is likely with her right now, i agree. they will likely try to concoct a story now.

fact is though, the number you texted has received texts from this phone in the past. that she's answered "who is this?" proves that something is going on.

Most likely is that either they are together now and you have alerted him, which does make it harder, or they had stopped the affair and she had deleted his number (as ex-affair partners often do) so she isn't sure who it is.

How sure are you he is where he says he is?

I would expect him through the door in the next few minutes, drip-White and ready with a load of BS.

Well you could send another one now saying 'tell my H to get home and collect his bags I will tell my solicitor to get in contact'.

If there is any chance he is with her now (i.e you have no way of accurately verifying his whereabouts) then they are concocting a believable story so you are going to be on the backfoot.

Scour the house for more evidence. Gifts, cards, receipts, computer all of that.

He may call you 'innocently' to check how you are in a bit. Or he may return home unexpectedly early. Do not speak to him until you've worked out what to do. Do not answer the phone. You are the one who has to be in control of this, not him.

Think about the tone of the texts. Are they purely sexual? Or more affectionate? Is it likely to be a sexual affair or an escort or an ex he has got back with?

tell them u found phone in gym

He's just phoned me to say he's on his way back. He asked if I'm ok and I told him I'm ok just feeling under the weather. Still pondering on what I'm going to do. I think I'm just going to call the number. I can't take this anymore. I HAVE to know whats going on. Will just ring them from my phone and pretend its the wrong number if I bottle it.

oh dear, you've prob caught them out, but of course now they are on to you.
What should be your next move, i wish i could think straight for you.

He doesn't know you sent the text though and if you say nothing, he can't exactly ask, can he?

Have you googled the number, out of interest?

vander was right he has called and asked if you are ok. bloody bastard.

Would your husband usually phone you on the way back from a client?

dont phone, dont let on you know, though it is probably too late, root around when waiting for him to get home

He's probably with her. Sorry to say that. Another one of his evening meetings with clients. If he's with her he knows the phone is in his bag, so he knows you must have it. Only he uses the phone to text her number, and if she knows he hasn't got it, she's not expecting to get a text from him.

They'll both be panicking and working out what he'll say. I suspect he'll be home shortly. If I were you I'd take the phone and the baby and head for your mum's. I wouldn't even leave a note, let him wonder where you are and where the phone's gone.

Wow Vander spot on!

I'm trying desperately to think of an innocent explanation, but can't come up with one.

It's hard, but try and keep as much dignity as you can; you will feel much better for doing so later.

Sounds like he is there now with her then. You've blown your cover :( your husband will be shitting himself now. Knowing the phone was in his wardrobe he will know that only one person can have found it and be texting from it. And that's you.

He occasionally calls me on the way back from clients houses but it's not a common occurence no.

Don't show any more of your hand. Let him come in and play it cool. Very quickly he will want to get to his gym bag to see if the phone has gone. Wait until he is committed to rifling through the bag and then casually sa "what are you looking for?". See what he's got to say for himself.

Listen, fizzy, stop.
Listen to me. He is on his way back. Don't call the phone.
You need to speak to him in person. He was obviously with her and he is obviously terrified. She is going to be ready with some story and either won't answer or won't help you.

When you say you have to know what's going on, you realise that you do know what's going on don't you? Already now?

Honestly, I would hide the phone and be in bed when he gets in. You've said you're ill - it wouldn't be so weird. Give yourself some time to think.

Hmm I would shave quickly written the number down, and then edited it to your number and get him believing it's 'her' when he's texting.

No way out then.

Poor you

Defiantly text back that you've found the phone as if you are just a member of the public that'll put him off the scent and then keep hold of the phone.