I think my husbands cheating

[fizzyizzy]

Oh God. Hes just gone out to a clients house and I have been tidying his wardrobe. I wasn't snooping. I looked in his gym bag - its so like him to leave his dirty gym kit in there and I've found a phone. It's not his phone, I've never seen it before. There is no reason for him to have another phone. I'm worried that this is a secret phone. That he's having an affair. I can't believe im writing this. He is the a great husband and a brilliant father to our three month old little girl. We are happy and we hardly ever argue. We've been together 8 years we've been through so much together. But I have this niggling doubt. My hearts pounding. What do I do????

Fizzy hope you are ok,, was following this last night :(

Chipping

Yes I think you and abitwobbly are right about the cheat doing the work to put things right (well somewhere near right)

My best friend's dh cheated twice and she stayed with him. He's a manipulative twat and both times she ended up blaming herself.

She said to me at Christmas that something died in her the second time. It won't ever be the same.

Just wanted to add fizzy that I've been thinking of you and hope you are ok.

hope youre coping x

Thinking of you love xx

How are you today?

I hope you're getting through all this Fizzy. x

Heh heh re stratters. Ah but they do!

It doesn't matter if the OP never comes back. The advice given is true and good. It may help somebody else who is too afraid to post or is not in the position to post.
It doesn't matter if the OP lives under a bridge. The advice still stands. I wish I'd had MN when it happened to me. The advice is good (not just for the OP). Long live MN. Thanks to all MNetters who help others even though they don't know it.

Ooooh harsh Sarah!!

Hi OP, hope you have a peaceful Easter with you lovely mum and baby.
Reading your thread brought me back to 8 years ago when my EX cheated on me. I was in another country, I had moved there just to be with him as his professional life 'obviously' was more important than mine. He cheated on me with someone who was pretending to be my friend...I found out by reading their exchanging of txt messages on his own only phone and reading his emails as I guessed his password easily. I am not sure for how long it was going on but I found out when I went on a one week vacation to meet my mother and sister (he didn't come to stay alone with her), he did not answer his mobile phone or home phone for the whole time nor replied to my emails..I came back and when I first saw him he said he wanted a divorce...he thought I wouldn't realise he was having an affair but when he went to sleep I started snooping...I learned that as soon as he left me at the airport he went to meet OW to do food shopping so they could lock themselves in our house and have romantic meals for the whole time I went away...she even dowloaded some working staff in our family computer...when I confronted him (he never knew I read his emails and txts, I just starting asking about stuff on computer and lots of candles in the house hut I was very confident he had no choice) he said he was interested in her and they had only one dinner together at home and with other people too (lie) because he was lonely I was away....and they had only a little kiss because they have had a drink...he never apologised....but always wanted me to believe I was crazy...I agreed with the divorce straight away and because he was so controlling he couldn't believe I wasn't begging him to stay with me so he convinced me I needed another chance, said we were gonna be ok and he could try and love me again and he made sex with me...just for him the next day to say he changed his mind and wanted me out of his life before New Year. He broke me there I nearly killed myself. He bought me a ticket back home and I spent Xmas eve and half of Xmas day travelling back home. He was in control of the finances so he gave me whatever he wanted to give me and made me pay half of the legal fees for the divorce too. I kept on checking his emails just to find out how he was cheating on the OW but got married to her regardeless. Only when he changed his password and I didn't have access to his emails anymore I could move on emotionaly but sometimes I am still bitter and do think what was SO wrong with me, what did I do wrong, will I ever see him again? I crave for him to say sorry even now I am married again and have a 5 year old DD. Please stay strong and don't let him destroy you. Sorry for the hijicking.

Oh cphps that's so sad! I feel terrible for you - I hope you don't let that awful man ruin the rest of your life. Are you happy with DH & DS now?

Here here Leverette!

I would answer that if posters are getting emotionally involved with something which, to me, looks to be entirely fabricated, then it is time to call troll. It maybe 'if' it is genuine, but there is no doubt about the emotional involvement. And plenty of posters have been sucked in, and very hurt, in the past.

Don't be ridiculous. That's the lamest excuse for playing troll hunter going. No one is 'emotionally involved'.

Are you a moderator?

Who gave you this divine right to cast your judgement?

Re-read the initial OP. It is so pat, so beautifully written considering the 'stress' the OP must have been under

Who is the measure of how people react under stress or shock?

I hope you are doing ok today, fizzy.

Others - Out of respect for fizzy, can we please stop talking about that topic? Just leave it so she can come back and get the support she needs if she chooses. Resist the desire to have the last word and defend your 'stance' because that is not what this thread is about.