I think my husbands cheating

[fizzyizzy]

Oh God. Hes just gone out to a clients house and I have been tidying his wardrobe. I wasn't snooping. I looked in his gym bag - its so like him to leave his dirty gym kit in there and I've found a phone. It's not his phone, I've never seen it before. There is no reason for him to have another phone. I'm worried that this is a secret phone. That he's having an affair. I can't believe im writing this. He is the a great husband and a brilliant father to our three month old little girl. We are happy and we hardly ever argue. We've been together 8 years we've been through so much together. But I have this niggling doubt. My hearts pounding. What do I do????

I am RAGING on your behalf fizzy how fucking dare he do this to you!!!

What makes these bastards think it is ok to do this to their wives and the mother of their babies???

What an utter fucking arsehole.

OP god bless you and your beautiful baby, so glad your mum will be taking care of you.

DH and the OW should hang their heads.

Take care of yourself and please don't be tempted at 4am when the thoughts are tumbling, to phone him or ow. Bide your time, have some mum tlc and read the wise words on here - and the other infidelity threads. Cwtchy's thread has some great advice too on dealing with this in the first few days.

Sorry should have said, cwtchys thread in relationships is called "am I fighting for my marriage or begging!" it has some sound advice. I know it's Easter but I would advise dealing with bank stuff ASAP.

So sorry you are going through this,your baby will help you keep strong,you have done nothing wrong,and now he is going to find out just what he's lost.xx

Hope OP hasn't posted again because she's safe with her mum. This is an awful story but you've done so well to take such decisive action and get out after having such an awful shock fizzy.

Fizzy the next few days are going to be very difficult and pass in a total haze, dont rush into doing anything hasty, take one day at a time.

Take any support from friends and family they will want to help in any way they can. Keep talking and even when you go over and over the same thing they wont care the will only want to help you. Good luck lovely thinking of you.

Yes, I know it's difficult to think straight but PLEASE first thing tomorrow, or tonight if it's at all possible with internet banking etc. - if you have joint accounts get them frozen.

Take anything that's precious, irreplaceable, with you, and all the finance stuff - sounds like you're on top of that.

Everything else can wait. You have all the time in the world to decide what you want to do about anything and everything else.

Take care x

Fizzy, I am so sorry. What a terrible shock. i hope that you are at your mum's now.

((hug))

Hi,
I'm at my mum's now. Just a quick note to say thank you again to all of you for being so lovely and for all the support you have given me. My EX has tried calling over and over so I switched my phone off. He sent a text to the other phone - HIS other phone saying 'I'm sorry'. How pathetic. I plan to avoid all contact with him over the weekend so I have some time to decide what I want to o. I don't know even if he wants to be with me or her but frankly I could not care less right now. I'm putting my little girl first. He can shove it for all I care. He has cheapened everything we had. I cannot forgive him for that.

Well done. I'm glad you have your mum's support now. Let us know how you get on. So sorry he's such a prick :(

Take care Fizzy you know where we are if you want to rant or get advice .. there are some fantastic people on here

I don't know how I would have coped without them (Thank you all of you

You are better off without him .. you sound lovely xx

Good plan to give yourself head space. Guard it.

Urgh, it's pathetic how predictably men who have been arseholes behave. The 'I'm sorry' text to his phone is just a lame admission of guilt if ever you needed one.

I'm really glad that you are going to focus on your own and your daughters well being for the time being. I know it sounds really silly but take the time to do the basics to look after yourself, get enough sleep and make sure you keep eating over the next couple of days. It will be hard, but don't hesitate to ask for the help and support you need from those close to you that care for you and of course here on MN.

Oops meant .. x

Thank you for coming back to let us know you are safe at your mums. Take as long as you need to think.

Well done, fizzy, for what it's worth I think that's EXACTLY the right thing to do at this point. He will be utterly devastated at the ruin he's created and looking, ironically, to lean on you to get through it. Leave him be and he'll begin to realise all he's lost whilst you remain untouched by his 'explanations' and accusations. Take some time to heal over the immediate wound and get strong. Only speak to him when you feel really really firm and ready.

Well done fizzy, you are so brave and you are doing the right thing. We are all her for you. [big fat virtual hug]

You are in shock just now fizzy running on adrenaline, pretty soon that will wear off and the tears will start. please do not weaken and contact him. Ask your mum not to allow him to come to her house-if he has the balls to do it- .
Take a few days, as much as you need to gather your thoughts, and get some advice. Get to a cash machine and get some money to keep you going until you can get some legal advice after Easter.

Remember YOU did not do this, he did this to himself. He is not really sorry, he is only sorry he has been caught.

Look after yourself and your DD. He does not deserve either of you.

Wow Fizzy!

I would be soooo devastated too but you are handling this with dignity.

Take care.

I am really sad to see the situation you are in but really heartened that you have the self esteem to act and say 'I'm worth more'. You are.

I am glad you are with your Mum. Don't forget to change passwords.

Glad to hear you are with your mum.

You ARE worth more. So is your little girl.

Never compromise on that.

Remember, above everything, that YOU choose your future.

Take your time. Don't be told what to do or how to react by anyone - especially him. You take all the time you need to process what's happened - there is no timescale. You don't have to decide what you want to do until you've taken the time you need to think through every eventuality.

Good luck

Well done Fizzy You have held your dignity, you do have hell to face but you have done so well so far!