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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

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Original poster

Just had the biggest fight with DH... he hit me, I hit him...

682 replies

namechangeforthis100 · 04/04/2012 00:57

I've spent the whole of yesterday at the hospital... quite a long time after a miscarriage it turns out (joy) I've got an infection. I'm in agony. I feel shit. All my friends are pregnant.. I'm just having a very shit time.

I decided to get stuff organised.. sort of nights out etc to keep us busy and tonight we went out with about 10 of our best friends for a meal (a lot are shift workers from our hey day hence the tuesday random night)...

I have been in quite a lot of pain and on painkillers... but was without and just slowly drinking wine this evening.. The night went great and we all agreed to meet again next week.

We got in the car (DH driving) and she started to go MAD. Apparently during a conversation I had dictated when he could go out and come back (with an old friend) and I hadn't! I know the conversation he's talking about. They were taking the piss saying I would and I was laughing... but I didn't say a word. And all the home he called me vile, drunk, a bitch etc.. (with our daughter in the back of the car who we just picked up from a sitter to bring home.)

We got in, put DD to bed and it escalated. He screamed at me, I proclaimed innocence, He pushed me, I tried to kick him. We ended up having a full out physical fight.

He left. I wrenched the keys out his hand and he stepped out the door.

I locked it.
Jesus christ.

What do I do now?? I'm already in pain. (now more. Have a perfect hand bruise on my chest.)

OP posts:
ike1 · 04/04/2012 22:38

Is it sensible to text someone 50x when they have left a handprint on your chest?

everlong · 04/04/2012 22:40

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Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ike1 · 04/04/2012 22:41

Whos berating?

everlong · 04/04/2012 22:42

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ike1 · 04/04/2012 22:44

I am merely asking a question certainly not berating...bloody hell everlong you are a pretty defensive individual...

threeleftfeet · 04/04/2012 22:44

OK I wasn't the problem, and neither is namechange, of course.

namechange I read that back and I really hope you don't feel I'm having a go at you!

I just really wish I could show you how to look after yourself better. Would my post have got through to me back then? Probably not!

I hope you keep posting and that it helps.

I wish you strength and happiness and all things good :)

everlong · 04/04/2012 22:45

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ike1 · 04/04/2012 22:46

Why not?

sunshineandbooks · 04/04/2012 22:47

I hope you don't think I was having a pop at you threeleftfeet I really wasn't and I'm really sorry if that's how it came across.

I think that was a lovely post you made. Full of insight, candour and empathy for namechange.

everlong · 04/04/2012 22:47

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ChippingInNeedsCoffee · 04/04/2012 22:47

I hope you have been able to talk to DH properly and sort some stuff out x

ike1 · 04/04/2012 22:50

Its as valid as any of your points, it is in response to another poster and highlights an action and asks others for their responses. I really think you need to now just look at your own comments and not worry too much about others.

threeleftfeet · 04/04/2012 22:50

Not at all sunshineandbooks! I read it back myself and though oh god, it sounds like I'm having a go!

Like I said I just wish i was more eloquent!
Thanks for your nice words :)

everlong · 04/04/2012 22:51

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Message withdrawn at poster's request.

threeleftfeet · 04/04/2012 22:51

everlong what's your problem exactly? We get your point.

But the OP has her own mind, she can take the advice she chooses too, or which strikes a chord with her.

If the people talking about abuse are way off then it won't ring a bell with her and she'll continue with her life regardless (and I sincerely hope this is the case!).

The thing about abuse though is that it does seem to follow a pattern. If this is what's happening (and it could be) then it would be useful to know about the abusers' "script" at the beginning so she can recognise what's going on.

ike1 · 04/04/2012 22:53

Sigh its all about competitive advising with you everlong..oh well...

everlong · 04/04/2012 22:53

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ike1 · 04/04/2012 22:56

thanks for pointing it out to us everlong anyway I dont think this is the place for a bunfight. Threeleft has written some pretty good posts. Night OP, hope you get rest and clarity x

everlong · 04/04/2012 22:56

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Nyac · 04/04/2012 22:57

Please call the police Namechange and report the assault.

You say there's no going back from that, but the point of no going back was when your husband pushed you so hard he left a hand print shaped bruise on your body. A line has been crossed and you're both in a new world now. It's a world where you have to show him by your actions that it is completely unacceptable to behave like this to you.

ike1 · 04/04/2012 22:59

you love that emoticon dont you everlong sweetie. Night to you too x

everlong · 04/04/2012 23:00

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Goawaybob · 04/04/2012 23:01

This thread has just made me feel :(

EggyFucker · 04/04/2012 23:03

I feel sad for the OP and her dc

everlong · 04/04/2012 23:03

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