DS and DD really don't like each other and can't/won't get on.

[IDontWantToBeFatAnymore]

They have said they hate each other and wish they were not here. . I don't know what to do. They are 11 and eight.

Dont do anything. It is really very normal, and they will eventually grow out of it.

Horrible but normal. Keep them apart as much as poss- lots of playdates and one to one time with you and dh. Don't compare them, ever. It'll pass.

Ds1 and dd the same, he really doesnt like her.

Normal, they will ome out the other side of it

Oh bugger. How long does it last? It has been going on for months. We are hoping that in September when they are at different schools they will get on better.

could have written that post 10 years ago. I used to despair of my DD1 and DS getting on. It occasionally resorted to physical fights. I put it down to hormones and competitiveness.
Now they are very close, DD lives away and they text each other constantly. Of course there is still the odd bout of sibling rivalry but that l consider normal.

I did nothing major except referee and support them both, so l have no advice on what to so but l thought l would post to say it will get better...

I would let a lot of it go but it is constant. DH has taken them swimming with their younger brother (I am poorly in bed) and I am worried for him though they love going so hopefully..

DD has a scar courtesy of DS1 .

It is difficult too when one said one did that but they deny it. If I leave it as I can't prove it then the alledged injured party sulks and the potential hitter, etc gets away with it. Or I end up telling off an innocent child and a liar gets away with it .

Well I don't want to be a harbinger of doom however...

I loath, hate and despise my half sister. I am now 43 lol. I will be civil towards her for my mum apart from that I want nothing ever in life to do with her.

She is not a full sister though so that may make a difference.

We have had this for years I am afraid, it just has to be managed.

At times when they are on their own, and there is nobody else/nothing else for them to do/talk to, they get on reasonably well. The way they talk to each other is very upsetting, and quite frankly horrible to listen to.

I point out that they wouldn't talk to their friends in that way, and they don't have to like each other, but they need to live together so they need to get on. This produces a temporary period of getting on, which gradually deteriorates back into the slanging match. They have reached a point at age 13 and 14 of tolerating/ignoring each other now.

When one of them was in a RTA last year, the other one (who allegedly hated her) was visibly upset, and was probably the most concerned out of all the children.

I also need to change how I talk to them. DH said so yesterday but I know he is right.

I love my little sister dearly. I don't always like her, was what I used to say.

We lived in a small house, she wanted to play I wanted to read. We ended up fighting

Separate friends and activities, would have helped. But small estate in a small town so this didn't happen.

As I've said on another thread she had to follow her academic in your face sister to school, Guides etc and she suffered for it.

Gradually as we got older we got better and by 18/16 went in holiday together after our exams very happily.

As adults we rub along pretty well even if we feel free to take offence at silly things inna way we wouldn't with friends.

DMum still occasionally keeps the peace and we are both over 40

Strangely my two are very very different, but mostly do much less fighting.

I think this is because very bright DD2 never feels she's playing catchup to her equally bright, but dyslexic big sister.

Infact we've had a rule of no point scoring since she was 5 because she'd correct het 8 year old sisters work.

Also we live in the middle of no where, if they want company they have to get on at home. Outside home they have different interests and friends which helps a lot.

Although they go to the same schools they have very different interests there too.

DD id much brighter and ds has been upset by her showing off. We have spoken to both of them about it.

If I sent them all to their rooms the innocent ones would shout at me about how infair it is, or scream "what have I do??"

Totally normal, don't worry about it. My sister hated me for years (and I was scared of her), and then we grew up.

It takes two to argue/ fight, regardless of who started it.

I do feel they gang up against me sometimes . Sometimes they are all sent to their rooms as they can't play together and after about 5 minutes they are asking to play together .

DD usually shouts at me that I never do anything when she tells me what has happened or why did I tell them to tell me if I am not going to do anything? Answer for everything that child.

Unfortunately I know they will really hurt each other as they have before. I will learn my lines for next time..

Thank you .

Oh good God I hated my brother with a passion growing up and he hated me.

We fought like cat and dog, constantly trying to get each other in trouble and the physical fights, well I'm suprised we didn't kill each other.

I think it's the age difference (4 years) as I got on fine with my other 4 brothers and sister as did he.

We have a great relationship now. Don't worry about it

DD comes in crying "ds1 kicked me on the head, said I was laughing that he had no crisps."
DS2 - she didn't laugh.
DD - daddy didn't care ds1 tried to drown my in the swimming pool. He just rolled his eyes.
Me - maybe he is fed up of all the fighting like I am.
Me to ds1 - Don't kick your sister in the head.
Ds1 - shouts - I didn't. She would be dead if I had.

[screams]

DS1 has been vile most of the day. I have coped really badly (trip to A & E for injured DS2 not helped) and shouted. He basically can't stand her and says his sister is the problem. I have told him to just stay away from her. He wishes he was an only child or just had his brother.