DS and DD really don't like each other and can't/won't get on.

[IDontWantToBeFatAnymore]

They have said they hate each other and wish they were not here. . I don't know what to do. They are 11 and eight.

I do do something most of the time but I am also trying the ignore the bad stuff approach. It is such a minefield. I find I gain in confidence though if I handle something which doesn't end in anyone crying or shouting but I also sometimes go from 0-60 in no time so need a word with myself more often. I am really trying my best and learning from my many mistakes.

While, yes, this is normal, it needs to be tackled. My parents failed to tackle my younger sister bullying the older, smaller, fragile one and even now we are in our mid thorties, there is such bitterness between them that they wont even go to family events if the other is attending. My parents really did stand by and do very little and my mum says she will live with that guilt forever. And i have to live with warring sisters which is draining.

I am tackling it and making it clear it isn't acceptable.

It is a similar age difference to the one between me and my brother. We fought a lot, too, and I remember genuinely disliking him and finding his company irritating and frustrating.
One thing that made it worse was that I had virtually no privileges for being older. Everything had to be "fair" to him, which meant that he ended up being allowed most places I was and allowed to stay up as late as me. One particularly stinging incident was not being allowed to see a 15 film with my cousin, because he was there and it "wouldn't be fair on him".

I don't mind admitting that DD is not good with younger children. She gets impatient and just finds them very annoying, and although I'll jump on any overt nastiness, I can't help but sympathise with her. There's often a big jump in maturity, outlook and interests between 8 and pre-teen, and it is often hard for children on either side of the divide to get on.

Do you think that increasing privileges for the older one might help? It would obviously be fair, as the younger one would gain the privileges too on reaching the same age.

My dd and ds are 13 and 10.
They argue a lot and fight a little but the older they get, the better they get on.

They had a terrible few years together (behaviour wise) but i have definitely seen a huge improvement recently.

We do try and treat the children fairly - they are a tad obsessed with it but ds1 does get to go to bed later, sit in the front of daddy's car and watch 12 dvds. I am not happy about that as he is only just 11 but dh over rules me. All is fine so far this morning.

My dd's hate each other, thay have done since day 1 and it is so hard. They have to have a bedroom but can never be in it at the same time.

They are 14 and 8 yr old and in all honesty i dread getting up in the morning and having to deal with them

Totally normal, me and my brothers hated each other and were always fighting, I get on with one of them now and speak to the other occasionally.

If it is normal I guess it is me that has to change with how I deal with it and stay calm.

Normal??
No I don't agree. It's not because 2 children are siblings that it's normal for them to 'hate' each other.
They might never have the same intrests, the same pov etc.. but we should always strive that they get on together ie respect each other and their pov.

Saying that I agree that most of the time, it comes down to the parent changing the way they react and staying calm.

Of course I am trying to get them to get on together.

Oh I know. That was in response of wish