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Original poster

Starting Again, Moving Forward...Onwards and Upwards ! :)

999 replies

Startingagain88 · 27/03/2012 14:33

Following all your wonderful messages of love and support since my partner of 15yrs up and left for OW, my previous thread reached the 1000 post mark and so i'm starting this new thread with a more uplifting subject title!!

Its only three weeks in since EXDP left and so i know i have a long way to go...but slowly each day I'm feeling more positive and believing that my life can be wonderful without him!

Here's the link to my old thread -

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/1421736-In-shock-cant-quite-believe-it-Long-Sorry

OP posts:
Thermalsocks · 09/05/2012 12:23

Ye gods Starting!

Any chance you might have been wavering there must have well and truly evaporated now!!!

Absolute little bastard prick! AngryAngry

Original poster
startingagain88 · 09/05/2012 12:25

Thermal,

Isnt he?? I really cant believe how low he is willing to go....he is a different person, ill be expecting a letter from a solicitor soon....all he can see when he looks at me is pound signs. :(

OP posts:
oldwomaninashoe · 09/05/2012 12:32

Starting!!

I'm so glad that you realise that he sees you only as a ATM.
A lot of the MN'rs have advised getting another 'phone. If he couldn't harass you by text would he start to do it in person?

RoxyRobin · 09/05/2012 12:36

Mein Gott! Just how thick is he? Well at least you know he's incapable of hatching a cunning plan.

springydaffs · 09/05/2012 12:40

go starting, go starting

you RROOOOAAAARRRRR Starting! He broke your heart and stamped on it! get the bastard

He can't come running back to mummy now! Angry

Original poster
startingagain88 · 09/05/2012 12:43

Oldwoman..... yes i am a walking cash machine!! I dont think he would harass me in person... i would be straight on to the police if he did :)

RoxyRobin, Lol, so transparent isnt it???.....now i know that he is willing to do/say anything for money, ill be expecting that solictors letter re the house!

OP posts:
Original poster
startingagain88 · 09/05/2012 12:45

Springy.......

Im a Leo as well...........RRROOAAAARRRRR!!!!

I feel better for that :)

TOSSER TOSSER TOSSER!

Cant believe how low he would stoop for a crappy 2K...... pathetic!

OP posts:
Wrongbow · 09/05/2012 12:53

SCUM!

meredeux · 09/05/2012 13:11

Are you answering his texts though? Or just ignoring?

I hope you don't go back to him now, or even let him stay in your spare room as a lodger, but I can see why it would be tempting to make all the bad stuff stop happening. Its hard to see how you could ever be happy with him again in the medium to long term.

KirstyWirsty · 09/05/2012 13:21

hi Starting ... This thread (and your earlier one) is yur 'documentation' of what he has done to you the last couple of months

If you find yourself wavering at all please read back through the threads and take notes of all the nasty stuff he has done

Please change your number! I wish I could change mine and have zero contact but I can't because of DD - but you CAN!!!

(Have you changed the locks yet??)

xx

KirstyWirsty · 09/05/2012 13:23

PS- Even if you do get a solicitor's letter - you've had legal advice from Collaborate which assured you he hasn't a leg to stand on Grin.. and I'm sure he won't be spending money he hasn't got on a solicitor anyway!

xx

captainmummy · 09/05/2012 13:24

He's made his bed. He has to get on with his pathetic little life now, he has no right to ask you for anything, not money, not a home, not sympathy.

southlundon · 09/05/2012 13:24

Bloody hell - that's outrageous! What a stupid arse.

Original poster
startingagain88 · 09/05/2012 15:41

I am so angry at the moment, how dare he keep asking me for money after all he has done! Why doesn't he ask the OW? It's all lies anyway, he has been working these last two months, I haven't responded to his text and don't intend to!

Isn't it enough that he broke my heart and stamped all over it? He wants to fleece me again?

I am really starting to despise him now, the OW is welcome to him!

OP posts:
Original poster
startingagain88 · 09/05/2012 15:42

Kirsty, I changed the locks weeks ago!:)

OP posts:
midwife99 · 09/05/2012 15:43

Please IGNORE everything! Letters, texts everything - if he turns up call the police & say your ex is harassing you. How very dare he!!! Angry

cenicienta · 09/05/2012 16:13

Oh Starting you can do sooooooo much better! I think you're starting to see that now aren't you?

Over the next weeks and months you're going to start seeing the relationship through different eyes and you'll start feeling more and more relief at having escaped.

You sound like you're really detaching... well done!

KirstyWirsty · 09/05/2012 17:15

Well done on changing the locks!!! Hurrahh!! Grin

I wish I could do that too .. it's a wee thrill every night coming home wondering what has been taken (NOT!!)

You are doing so well Starting you have definitely turned a corner now xx

Xales · 09/05/2012 17:19

I doubt there has been any row or leaving of the OW.

I bet there was complete let's butter up Starting and then hit her for the money.

Xales · 09/05/2012 17:22

OR he tried to hit her up for money and she said take a running jump... Grin

only4tonight · 09/05/2012 18:44

You are so strong! I don't think I could hold the venom in and keep the dignified silence like you.

I can't believe he didn't even have the patience to try and sleep with you before trying to touch you up for money! He still doesn't know you know about the hol does he. Edjit!
I think xales scenario is likely.

Thermalsocks · 09/05/2012 19:00

Still speechless! Will keep typing tho!

Starting, I would feel like doing a bit of snooping but I'm sneaky like that!
You said that OW lived quite close. If you haven't already, can you drive round and find his van. If he's really left her he won't be on her drive! Is he at his mates or in the pub car park -- as he must have contributed thousands to their profits!

A man doesn't leave a woman unless he has a replacement bed lined up so chances are she's kicked him out.
Or Xales theory is correct and its part of an ever more desperate plan to sweeten you up and get their hands on your money.

I doubt you'll get a solicitors letter. This is all designed in hopes that he doesn't have to pay for one as he knows he'll get nowhere.

Keep roaring!! Grin

only4tonight · 09/05/2012 19:09

Thermal I would be the same BUT looking at it from a distance. It shouldn't matter if he is still with ow or not. Starting doesn't want him so he shouldn't matter any more. His sorded little life is his look out now and the further he is away from starting the better!

Thermalsocks · 09/05/2012 19:25

True, but I would still like to know what he is up to, if only to try and work out his/their next move

cenicienta · 09/05/2012 20:33

Starting, I agree you don't need to know because you are doing a splendid job of moving on and any looking back might just set you back a few steps.

Better to repeat to yourself "I am not interested. My life now and my future to come are my only concern. My life is going to be so much better without him"

Didn't he tell you that even if they split up he wouldn't come back to you?

He really has treated you very badly, this last text asking for money was a very low trick. Hopefully that was the nail in the coffin for any thoughts of a future reconciliation for you.

You sound like such a lovely, decent person. Don't allow him to taint who you are.