Found Out My Husband is Sleeping With Escorts

[bagpus77]

[Message from MNHQ: This thread was started in 2012. It's a zombie thread. Just saying...]

Hi all,

I am a mother of two beautiful children ad the wife of a man I adore. We have been together always and last week I discovered he has been sleeping with escorts for at least half of our married life.

He denied it until there was no way out and so last night the man who I thought I could trust told me everything.

He was paying for sex each week with various different hookers or whatever it is they are called. He said he finds me dull in bed and that since the kids my need for sex is almost not there and he didn't want to bug me for sex.

I am devastated and just dont know what to do other than cry and feel so angry. I can't look at him anymore for betraying me and my trust.

I love him but don't like him much right now.

Oh good for you! Take the lying cheating scumbag for every penny you can, and don't look back. I bet your life comes along leaps and bounds without him, you sound like a very strong woman. Good luck!

Well done Bagpus - glad you have found your anger. It will keep you going & keep you strong.
Really pleased to hear that all the STD tests came back negative too. You have a clean bill of health & a chance to make a fresh start.

Just found this thread - how horrendous for you, bagpuss, I am so, so sorry

You have to be strong now and harden your heart a little, as he is going to be in full-on 'what have I done? I am so stupid!' victim mode. It is not your job to worry about him, now. You are not his mother.

Talk to good friends and family. You need support.

Hi.

I have been in your situation (both times whilst pregnant). I feel your tears, I feel your pain.

Only time will heal. Do not do anything rash, please. Let the dust settle and then see what YOU want to do about it.

Take care. It does get easier. I feel for you.

OP, glad to hear you are feeling stronger and have spoken to someone you trust in real life and are going for divorce. I'm not up on the legal side much, but get good advice on the financial side of things because I bet he is not that heartbroken that he won't remember to think of his own self first financially.

And yes, if you tell him he has to attend counselling for a whole year, BEFORE any chance of taking him back, watch and see him squirm. Men who repeatedly cheat won't want to wait that long, they want their cosy life with housework done, financial wellbeing etc back straight away.

By the way, the prostitutes your husband paid to have sex with aren't "filthy", they are very very likely to be getting traumatized over and over again every single day of their lives - not because they like it or like prada handbags, but because they have had bad lives and really don't think they are worth anything else, started as young runaways, or are in financial DIRE STRAITS, even mothers in financial dire straits, are desperate feeding an addiction, are controlled / pimped out, are experiencing domestic violence, the list goes on. You think any person would choose the things they go through at the hands of men like your husband, who at the very very least hold the misogynistic attitude that it's OK to buy a persons consent to sex and access to their body that they wouldn't otherwise be consenting to give?

It could happen to any of us, given the right (wrong) set of circumstances or chain of events in life.

Good Luck though OP x x x. You sound as if you have your head screwed on now having spoken out about it x

I found out my DH hired an 'escort' in January yesterday afternoon. He paid £50 for half an hour with her.

I feel like I've been hit with an 18 wheeler. She is dog rough as well!

How the bloodyhell do I tell him I know!

I can almost live with what he did to me but to do it to our DD who is 3 1/2 and idolises him I can't hack.

Jenny, it might be best to start your own thread, love x

Can Cheaters Change?
People can always change. Cheaters are no different. Whether or not a cheater can change is completely up to the individual.
Some people cope with down times in their relationships by seeking outside excitement. If cheating is a coping mechanism it will require therapy to address and overcome. It is just the way they cope with bad times in a relationship.

If somebody cheats on a partner it doesn?t necessarily mean that they will cheat again but they must want to change. They must address the reasons why they cheated.
A cheater who wants to change must do some real soul searching and take responsibility for the harm they have done. They must stop trying to rationalize their behavior and admit that it was wrong.

Can Cheaters Change?
People can always change. Cheaters are no different. Whether or not a cheater can change is completely up to the individual.
Some people cope with down times in their relationships by seeking outside excitement. If cheating is a coping mechanism it will require therapy to address and overcome. It is just the way they cope with bad times in a relationship.

If somebody cheats on a partner it doesn?t necessarily mean that they will cheat again but they must want to change. They must address the reasons why they cheated.
A cheater who wants to change must do some real soul searching and take responsibility for the harm they have done. They must stop trying to rationalize their behavior and admit that it was wrong.

Can Cheaters Change?
People can always change. Cheaters are no different. Whether or not a cheater can change is completely up to the individual.
Some people cope with down times in their relationships by seeking outside excitement. If cheating is a coping mechanism it will require therapy to address and overcome. It is just the way they cope with bad times in a relationship.

If somebody cheats on a partner it doesn?t necessarily mean that they will cheat again but they must want to change. They must address the reasons why they cheated.
A cheater who wants to change must do some real soul searching and take responsibility for the harm they have done. They must stop trying to rationalize their behavior and admit that it was wrong.

Can Cheaters Change?
People can always change. Cheaters are no different. Whether or not a cheater can change is completely up to the individual.
Some people cope with down times in their relationships by seeking outside excitement. If cheating is a coping mechanism it will require therapy to address and overcome. It is just the way they cope with bad times in a relationship.

If somebody cheats on a partner it doesn?t necessarily mean that they will cheat again but they must want to change. They must address the reasons why they cheated.
A cheater who wants to change must do some real soul searching and take responsibility for the harm they have done. They must stop trying to rationalize their behavior and admit that it was wrong.

Can Cheaters Change?
People can always change. Cheaters are no different. Whether or not a cheater can change is completely up to the individual.
Some people cope with down times in their relationships by seeking outside excitement. If cheating is a coping mechanism it will require therapy to address and overcome. It is just the way they cope with bad times in a relationship.

If somebody cheats on a partner it doesn?t necessarily mean that they will cheat again but they must want to change. They must address the reasons why they cheated.
A cheater who wants to change must do some real soul searching and take responsibility for the harm they have done. They must stop trying to rationalize their behavior and admit that it was wrong.

Can Cheaters Change?
People can always change. Cheaters are no different. Whether or not a cheater can change is completely up to the individual.
Some people cope with down times in their relationships by seeking outside excitement. If cheating is a coping mechanism it will require therapy to address and overcome. It is just the way they cope with bad times in a relationship.

If somebody cheats on a partner it doesn?t necessarily mean that they will cheat again but they must want to change. They must address the reasons why they cheated.
A cheater who wants to change must do some real soul searching and take responsibility for the harm they have done. They must stop trying to rationalize their behavior and admit that it was wrong.

Can Cheaters Change?
People can always change. Cheaters are no different. Whether or not a cheater can change is completely up to the individual.
Some people cope with down times in their relationships by seeking outside excitement. If cheating is a coping mechanism it will require therapy to address and overcome. It is just the way they cope with bad times in a relationship.

If somebody cheats on a partner it doesn?t necessarily mean that they will cheat again but they must want to change. They must address the reasons why they cheated.
A cheater who wants to change must do some real soul searching and take responsibility for the harm they have done. They must stop trying to rationalize their behavior and admit that it was wrong.

Can Cheaters Change?
People can always change. Cheaters are no different. Whether or not a cheater can change is completely up to the individual.
Some people cope with down times in their relationships by seeking outside excitement. If cheating is a coping mechanism it will require therapy to address and overcome. It is just the way they cope with bad times in a relationship.

If somebody cheats on a partner it doesn?t necessarily mean that they will cheat again but they must want to change. They must address the reasons why they cheated.
A cheater who wants to change must do some real soul searching and take responsibility for the harm they have done. They must stop trying to rationalize their behavior and admit that it was wrong.

Hi Jpalmer
Looks like you're having multiple posting issues.
This is quite an old thread too - you may want to start a new one to discuss this.
Thanks
MNHQ

omg married men sleeping with prostitutes is common and is "paid rape" you are living with a man who is capable of raping and using violence on woman if he is a father to your children, he should have all is his rights taken away for risking your life with hiv, aids. Woman should be able to sue men who use prostitutes for putting innoncent woman at risk with aids and hiv most of the time protection is not used as prostitutes are claiming to be innocent virgins my husband slept with several prostitutes whilst on a short break, then was returning and putting me at risk. not decided what to do with him yet. have taken him back but dont think any relationship can truly survive after a man you trust betrays you for sex with a prostitute, men will cry and pretend to feel guilty they are sick individuals who need to be taught a valuable lesson in life. would any man like there daughter,sister or mum to be raped and paid?????

Sonia, chances are she is not living with him any longer.
This all happened several months ago.
Sorry you have experiences similar

SinicalSanta is spot on.

End it. For good. Build your self esteem. He probably did this before he met.you, who knows. You will realise eventually it was not your fault. Might take a long time,.might not. Don't take him back. His deeo diregard for your emotional, mebtal and sexual health means he doesn't care enough about you. Never will. Start realising. I feel your pain. He is weak. You are strong, I know that .

Zombie thread.

I'm sorry this is happening you must feel devastated. He sounds like a talker, so be careful not to let him charm you back. Focus on the facts - he has cheated on you multiple times with women he paid for sex. You were pregnant. He has disrespected you and your children.

This is an old thread