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Original poster

Fuck Him and his Barbour - dating chat 10

999 replies

watchoutforthatsnail · 16/03/2012 10:00

New thread - you know what to do :)

OP posts:
Original poster
watchoutforthatsnail · 07/04/2012 21:28

Goldy, unfortunately I'm long enough.in the tooth to not hold out hope. If he was interested in seeeing me he would have asked ( probably on the actual.date.... If they.dint ask then chances they will ask drop to 50%). Someone interested.woyld ask, i knew this and.seny.a text to.confirm what i thought. Someone interested would have engaged a conversation.... He.didn't. And he isn't.too busy to have not spent most of today loggef into the dating site.

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adamschic · 07/04/2012 21:28

MLM, sounds like he is winning you over.

goldylock · 07/04/2012 21:31

I know, I know Pet. I feel/felt exactly the same. My situation only had the brakes put on it about a week ago so it is still a little raw for me too. I thought I had some connection with him, obviously he was only looking to keep the door/options open. The door needed a shove to be closed.
What happened between ye? Did you ask him where ye stood?

Original poster
watchoutforthatsnail · 07/04/2012 21:37

Adams :(

Sorry.you are.hurting.

But if it was one of us you would tell us we deserve better. As do.you. you know this because.you finished it.

You should be proud of yourself.

OP posts:
goldylock · 07/04/2012 21:41

Watch-what is considered long in the tooth? Am early 30s :). Ive had 3 long term relationships (2 started pre all this texting and internet dating crap-was ALOT easier). Am ready to start meeting guys, but its hard out there. Guys seem to have so many alteriour motives these days.

adamschic · 07/04/2012 21:44

We were having a great time but not connecting any further. He was keeping me dangling and I don't want this in my life. Told him I wasn't happy and hoped he would address it but didn't, so that was a deal breaker for me.

Hope you are OK.

goldylock · 07/04/2012 21:50

Good for you adams. Was it very recent? Maybe he will contact you again, maybe he wont, but at least you stood up for yourself. That will count for alot in the future.

Am ok-it stung for a bit. Sting is wearing off slowly....., because at the bottom of it all, I know I did the right thing for myself.

Original poster
watchoutforthatsnail · 07/04/2012 21:54
  1. But with about 60 internet dates under.my.belt... No including the ones that vanish or turn out to be dicks before you even meet... Or the ones that just chat for months and never ask.you outt

Ive done coffee dates, activity dates, drunk dates. Not having sex, having lots of sex. Casual dsting, more serious dating....

I know the signs when I'm.not going to be called.

Adams, you did the right thing. You really did. If he gave a Shit, even as a friend, he would have sorted it out.

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goldylock · 07/04/2012 21:58

Ok-you do know your stuff. Am totally naieve. Dont live in a big city so not much options. I met one guy online and nearly freaked out before meeting him. Was too shy. Maybe I will give it another go again when my wounds have healed :)

adamschic · 07/04/2012 22:07

[buhmm} I told him not to keep in touch cos I knew I would carry on enabling!

Watch, let them do the running, even before you meet. I was chatting to some nice ones on POF before I hooked up properly with EUM, reckon I was too chatty so nothing happened, they love the chase. Answer the next hottie with a few oneliners and see how it goes.

Original poster
watchoutforthatsnail · 07/04/2012 22:11

I don't live in a big.city Either. It's just a town.... And.I.work rurally too.

Yep, I.do know, in a way I wish I didn't..it was far nicer when I was new to it and hopeful/ excited/ naieve.

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Original poster
watchoutforthatsnail · 07/04/2012 22:16

Adams, one liners are about all I can muster enthusiasm for. LOL It's been that way for a while.

It's not the getting of dates that's my problem, It's the getting of a second one ( or having a good first date with someone interesting)

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PoppaRob · 07/04/2012 22:34

It's not just the women who are wondering if they're unloveable! After four years of crap I'm no closer to finding someone. My dear old almost 90 year old Mum even suggested I should give up and just hire a hooker if I need to "fill a need" as she quaintly put it!

adamschic · 07/04/2012 22:35

Yes, of course I should know that. Scratching my head now. Don't let them know they are on a promise and don't meet a budda.

I do know that the men you meet are carefully picked and lookers and why not, you are a young, very attractive woman. Don't get down, it will come right.

Goldy, forgot to say we only had the chat yesterday so very raw.

adamschic · 07/04/2012 22:38

Poppa! Noooo, you must have the male equivalent of the vibe, although I did live in Aus once and it seemed a right of passage to go with a pros.

MyLittleMiracle · 07/04/2012 22:50

Why are there so many on dating sites looking for only 1 thing? Or say they want relationship but run a mile at the idea of actually coming face 2 face? Gah men for you. And my first date is winning me over i think. I got a message earlier saying he had been thinkin about me all day and put next meet up is Monday. Grin

Oh I wish we could all at leasy get dates like it. At least we wouldn't be feeling shit!

hatesponge · 07/04/2012 22:52

I think I'm either going to have to force myself to be a lot less fussy (not appealing) or get used to being single for the foreseeable future (not appealing either). Ugh.

Of course knowing my luck, I probably still won't get to a 2nd date however much I lower my standards...!

adamschic · 07/04/2012 22:57

MLM, I think you should give him a chance. Also I think you have all had nice connections but it doesn't always last, so we all need to be prepared for this.

Sponge, not sure what to suggest, don't delete your profile like I have. I might try match.com in a couple of months.

adamschic · 07/04/2012 22:59

'we have' not 'you have'

hatesponge · 07/04/2012 23:05

adams I think the problem is I find it all really boring. I know some people say they found online stuff quite fun (I've got a friend who found her DP online, thinks its wonderful and is always offering to look for someone for me - I have declined her offer!) but I never did, not even at the start. I find all the searching, and reading profiles, and emailing, and then texting such hard work. It's too much communication for me Blush

This weekend I've had 3 texts from men who might be interested in me though probably only for a shag and I haven't bothered to reply to any of them. If they'd asked me out I might have, but endless texts back and forth about nothing just bore me!

I think I am a lost cause Blush

PoppaRob · 07/04/2012 23:32

adams a mate's gf's sister stayed at out flat when I was in my early 20's. She and I became friendly and in conversation afterwards it turned out she had been working girl off and on, so I guess you could say I've had sex with a professional. I did pay for a couple of pizzas the next night so maybe... Wink

Original poster
watchoutforthatsnail · 08/04/2012 08:17

I dont onkly date lookers though... I tend to fancy unconventional looking men anyway..... And the less attractive ones, like Mr hard chair, or the guy I met.for coffee don't call me back either!!

I never mention sex, unless my profile is set to ie at that Time

But no buddists..LOL

I.don't think it will happen for me actually. I can't see.how..

Sponge, I totally get how you feel. O generally can't be arsed. One guy just keeps messaging me about maybe him being the one?? I'm looking.for ( blee) but hasn't actually asked me out.... I reply, he doesn't reply back... And.just repeats the next week.

Adams, hope you sre ok today

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MyLittleMiracle · 08/04/2012 11:06

I really hate that when they are like oh maybe I cam be xyz and then nothing. Just reminded me must text tomorrow's afternoon coffee to change day. Feel really rough this morning, sick, headachey and generally exhausted. no idea why though. I didn't even touch a drop if alcohol last night.

I will see if I can make tomorrow's coffee date for Wednesday instead. And report back.

Original poster
watchoutforthatsnail · 08/04/2012 15:44

god, i was./am having an absolutly rubbish day. I dont often get down days, but when i do they hit hard. Im fucking angry at my ex husband for stealing away what i thought i had. im angry my daughter isnt with m e and im meant to be ok with it - im not. All the fucking hphappy facebook famlies and their eater hunts. gah!
and dickhead men, dont forget dickhead men.

I realise to htem, on paper, im not a good catch. Im over 30, chubby, permantley skint with not much free time.
I lwant someone who likes me for me, who will race segways with me, rap with me in the supermarket, don their pac a a mac and dance in the rain with me, camp with me, eat cheese with me, talk shit with me.

Ive cancelled and then blocked the austraiian. Ive deleted any man on my fb who has ever come onto me ( a fair few) i dont want to be anyones second choice and if they have girlfriends and are coming onto me, they are not people i want to be friends with.

i have a date tomorrow and one for tuesday... i shall report back.

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Sunshinedelacruz · 08/04/2012 16:00

Watch. You are a great catch. You are entitled to bad days. Ugh. Facebook and the 'having a wonderful time with friends and families' statuses with obligatory photos can stick in the throat. I was crying on the phone earlier when a very good male friend said he doesn't want to see me until we are both better from a flu that has affected me for a week and him for a couple of days. The rejection was too much for me and I broke down and started sniffling on the phone. (to put it in perspective I've been proper ill with the joint pain, cough, vomiting so he is only being sensible). Thing is i may have infected him and he needs to run his business but I was inconsolable. FGS!

I don't even get that many dates. One in a blue moon. I'm 43, shaped like a cornet with hair like straw. I've dated on and off for years and rarely get a second date. It's grim.
If I had an appetite I'd hit the Easter eggs.