Fuck Him and his Barbour - dating chat 10

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New thread - you know what to do :)

I mean none starter

milk I have been waiting since Saturday for this guy to get in touch. Might text him today and see what's going on.

Have hope Milk he might just be playing it cool too! Good luck MLM

Hope you hear back from him single

Don't text him though. I mean, it's up to you clearly but I wouldn't. One text should be enough. I never have to be texted twice before I reply to people. I don't see why anyone else should. Unless of course it's a friend with an incredibly rubbish memory.

My guy won't get in touch though, I just know he won't. The universe seems to be on a single minded mission to make my mood as low, and sad as possible at the moment.

I think I've ran out of hope Parsley You just get to the point where you have had enough of being let down.

I know I should be positive, but today I just feel all out of hope

I know what you mean Milk I'm in the middle of horrid divorce, turns out person I was married to/with for 20 rs, and I thought loved me most in all the world actually didn't. He signed up for online dating while we were still apparently 'happy'. So I have the t.shirt. Will get some printed maybe! Can't even bring myself to think about online stuff...

Milk, stop thinking about blokes / men for a bit. Sometimes you have to take a step back. Don't let them get you down. It is their loss. You are still hte fab, amazing woman you were 3 days ago!
Give yourself a shake & think of some good things - probably not man related! If you can get out a lunchtime or some time today, treat yourself to a bunch of daffodils (they are only 99p most places & they look great for days) or a really lush bottle of bubble bath or shower gel.

MLM good luck! report back!

Milk I know it's really difficult, but shrug and move on!

How does one get the tits courage to start again?

Give yourself a bit of time Parsley. You'll know when you feel ready. My H left us in 2003 & I didn't start dating until 2005, after the divorce was through. The divorce was grim & took up so much of my emotional energy, there is no way I could have contemplated dating. Some people need to leap back in quickly, for others it takes longer. You will know.

Milk I sometimes mostly feel like this, as though the entire male population has collectively decided I'm not worth the effort. I do agree though with the tip about treating yourself, even if it is something for £1 or less, it will make you feel so much better. I indluged myself with new shoes and a new bag yesterday which are both rather lovely, even though slightly extravagant by my usual Prmark standard And you're honestly not the only one, which may not make you feel better but at least you have company :)

I'm oddly cheery at the moment (actually I had a good old cry over some music at the weekend so maybe not that cheery...) The weather helps me massively to feel happier, it seems hard to think anything bad will happen on a sunny day.

Mr Barbour is still around, sort of. I think we may be heading in a sort of FWB direction, but we'll see. Oh, and one of my best friends has asked me to be her bridesmaid, I've never ever been one before so very Sadly she is not getting married til summer 2014 so I will be 42 by then (as will 2 of the other 3 BMs).

Thanks for that Post...its too early for me I think

Thank you for the kind words ladies.

I know I should try and concentrate on other things, but it is so hard. It's killing me that it is my ex fiances birthday today. I miss him so much. I feel as if I've lost my whole future, and carrying on without him feels impossible sometimes

milk, when did it finish between you? I'm so sorry if you've said it before & I missed it, but I'm guessing this is the first birthday you've been through since it ended? That being the case it will be incredibly hard and painful.When my last serious relationship ended (we weren't engaged but I honestly thought we'd be together for the rest of our lives) all the anniversaries, xmas etc were horrendously upsetting. But the next year they were a little easier. And the one after that. It's been nearly 3.5 years now and I still miss him, still think of him, but I can do it now without it upsetting me, or certainly not as much as it used to. It is horribly trite, but time really is a great healer.

ok I havnt signed up to eharmony then. still chatting to a few on POF. one is really nice.. the others are ok. one bless him wont leave me alone.. he must forget he messages me and sends me the same intro message over and over!
this is soo hard. I met some one after Christmas (in real life not on a dating aite) that I really like but things are to complicated with him and he lives about 50 miles away. logistically it was a no go. but I realise now I felt quite strongly about him so in putting a downer on anyone else before we've even met in real life of you know what I mean!

hate Well it's complicated because I moved to London last July, but he was still coming down to visit me etc. Things weren't good between us, and I wasn't thinking straight. I stupidly believed that the space would help, and that he would end up moving down here as well.

Then in December I went back home unannounced because I decided we needed to sort it once and for all. He wouldn't see me! refused point blank to entertain the idea, and I haven't seen him since. I never thought he would just cut contact like that. It's totally destroyed my world to be honest. I feel as if I'm living in a nightmare a lot of the time. He's clearly met someone else, who is probably showering him with gifts and attention today like I used to do

I really want to text him happy birthday, but keep reminding myself that I never got a text from him on my birthday and that I need to keep my dignity.

I'm so sorry you have been through something similar. It really is the most horrendous, painful feeling isn't it? I do hope what you say is true for me as well, and that eventually it will get easier. It helps to talk to people who understand how you feel. My friends in London are all in their mid twenties. They try to understand, but it's impossible for them to really grasp how terrifying it is to be 30+ and feel like you've let your best chance of a future slip through your fingers.

Very :( at your story Milk - please don't text him, it isn't a question of dignity - he has treated you with contempt, why would you waste your energy thinking of a man who has treated you so shabbily? it's a relief he isn't in your life, if you think of him at all, make it pus-filled and leperous.

I find London very different from where I used to live - The single-woman 'competition' here is far superior to my old home town, they all seem groomed and glossy ( I look like I've been dragged through a hedge backwards. in a paint factory...) stupid standards remain intact though. hey-ho.

Thank you for your kind words Snape I know I should try and be furious with him, but I just can't be. I love him, and I feel as if my life is pretty much over a lot of the time if I'm honest.

Yeah, London is full of stunning women. I don't stand a chance really. My flatmate has met an amazing guy (who is the friend of a guy I met and really liked, but who is unavailable-that's a different story though) She is stunning though, which always helps I find.

Anyway, I will stop hi jacking the thread now. Sorry people

Oh Milk & Snape, London is not full of stunning women - it is just full of people. I was in the Arndale Centre in Wandsworth the other week - and it definitely wasn't full of stunners! Come on you two. Look at ALL the couples you know & they aren't all made up of stunning people! Don't talk yourselves down and buy into this "only stunning people have relationships crap"!!!!!
Milk, delete his number from your phone - that way you can't possibly text him. I had to do this with my last "love". I knew that I would weaken, if I drank too much or was feeling very low & feeble, so I deleted everything. His mobile number, his landline, his address, his email - everything. Made me feel so much better, because I knew I had no way of contacting him! It was like I cut myself free.

post You are probably right about the women, but sometimes you can't help feeling that you are really up against it

I should delete his number I know. I just can't quite bring myself to do it as yet. I've got him saved under an abusive name to stop myself from texting/phoning.

He actually accidently (or so he said) rang my phone twice in the space of an hour a few weeks ago. I didn't answer as I hadn't heard it ring. Then he text me saying it was an accident, and 'wouldn't happen again', as if it's me who is the one who doesn't want to speak!

I didn't reply because I know he's still at a stage where it's all my fault, and I'm getting blamed for EVERYTHING. So he probably thinks I don't care anyway.

Hi Milk..sorry to hear you have had such a rough time. You will meet someone else however and you sound a lovely kind person so dont think its you. It takes two to make a relationship work. He is the arse to not even try and talk to you. Stay strong.

Thank you DENMAN. I'm not saying I didn't do a lot of things wrong in the relationship-I did! But the way he has just cut all contact so suddenly has absolutely floored me.

Anyway, I think I killed the thread so I will shut up about it now. Hoping MLM will be along soon to update us as to how her date/s went.

Just popped in on my phone and will update you all tomorrow but thought I would let you know I am home safe. X

the suspense!

:)

I'm still waitin for MLM to update!