Fuck Him and his Barbour - dating chat 10

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New thread - you know what to do :)

also sponge - just an idea, following times excellent advice ( TIME, where are you, we miss you :) )
try something different.... else you will end up with the same as you have always got.
You havent been on that many dates ( dont shoot me) How about a more scattergun approach for say 3 months? Try dating any one, different kinds of people, day time dates only.... just to get out there, get meeting people, and maybe, who knows, you MIGHT be surprised?
( yes, yes, probably unlikely, but worth a shot, surely?)

I know it has to happen sometime, logic says it will. BUT then again logic said that a year ago, and 2 years ago, and so on, and it hasn't :( I have to not think about it most of the time because if I do, it gives me a panic attack thinking about my life drifting on in the same aimless way for another 3 or 5 years, or more. I was (self-indulgently ) reading some of my posts from the last couple of years and nothing has changed. Not one thing. The only single people I know in RL are ones who make no effort at all to meet anyone, never go on dates, don't socialise etc. For everyone else I know, getting out and about, doing the online thing inevitably results in a relationship, however brief.

I take the point about more of a scattergun approach but - and not trying just to make excuses - I can't bring myself to go on a date unless I find someone attractive, it's too depressing otherwise. That knocks out probably 75% of men. And of the rest, although I have never turned any down, they all disappear before a date takes place. This year from my online endeavours I've had 1 actual date, 5 planned dates where they disappeared, and another one who asked me ages ago but we've still not got round to meeting. I'll try for more dates I really will but with the lack of attractive men and high %age of vanishers it will be hard work :(

just to add I know nothing of buddhists but am sure he will make for an interesting date, so you should go :) and of course YKW will be chasing you now because you're not giving him much back. Men are too predictable!

Just catching up on all the news.

Great news MLM about the divorce petition.

Watch - sounds like the direst date ever. Doesn't even sound like a date - more like torture. What an absolute tightarse not to be buy you a drink. Urgh!!!! Buddhism can be really cool. I have a couple of buddhist friends and they are very grounded & into living life for now in the best way they can. Like all religions, if they are too into it, it can be off-putting.

Hatesponge - I have moments like yours on & off all the time. I'm 42 and on gloomy days I feel like I will never meet anyone I really, really like / fancy / want to be with again. However, thinking like that doesn't get me anywhere, so I try and fill my life with things I enjoy & look on finding a worthy adversary as a bonus!

Also, quick question. Internet dating - do you approach blokes? I always wait to be approached, but wonder if that is too passive? What do you all do?

Poor you, i have had one date, one asked me to go over to his for some "nsa fun" Nope not my style, i do NOT sleep around, never have! Where is that halo emoticon? I am due to go on a date just after i move and we are chatting daily. And he hasnt lost interest in my yet, which is some sort of miracle to be honest! Maybe i have got lucky. We have both texted things which look really bad on paper! But completely innocently meant (well almost i thinks)
Starting to find the old sexy me again!! And soo sooo sooooo gooood!
I am sorry not everyone else get so much luck as me. I had a good few messages from people! But chose one, and we are "exclusive". Which atm for me is very serious. Havent even been back on them sites since! Hoping we get on well and i can delete my profile! Counting the days until i move!

I'm pretty much with sponge at the mo, everything is a bit flat. Very growly at tv adverts showing happy couples and just having to do every sodding thing myself. Going to watch 'undatables' on C4 this week to wallow in my misery a bit more and then hoick up my bosom, drop my standards further and get on with it. blurrrgh.

watch Buddhist sounds interesting - I am (vicarioulsy) imagining he'll be fit as fuck - all that veggie/veganism and meditation. :) I wonder what impression the other one is trying to make with calling you 'pure dirt'...

oh sod off Ykw.

buddhism is big on kindness & compassion for all sentient beings, so assuming he's genuine about it he should be a good guy.
I dont think any abstinance fromsex is required?
You may get wilder sex from a satanist..but he'd prob be a bit of a head fuck :)

Post - hell yes, dont sit and wait, pick the ones you want! :)

Snape :( sorry its all a bit crap, hopefully the better weather and a bit of sun might change things? If not, wallow in in a bit, ( its allowed) and then like you say, get on with it. :)

he IS fit as fuck, i DO fancy him.
I just wonder qiute what he might make of me and my meat eating, rum swilling ways. lol. Ive made no secret of it though, and i think it should def be interesting in the least. I also highly suspect that i would get very wild sex from him......

sponge - i know, im just trying to help... i dont mean date all the ugly fuckers... just maybe try some that arent your usual type. I have a type, but i often fancy those that dont fit it, so if i stuck to my usual type only i would only of dated maybe 2 out of the 24 or whatever last year. We all have tons of vanishers, so dont take that personally either. And dont look too far ahead, if i do that id end up feelign shit too. And i dont know anyone near me who is single either, so i know what thats like too. Its always just me, on my own, or with dd and everyone else is a couple, but fuck them. Im awesome. And so are you.

watch we are awesome

I will give it a shot tonight. Think I deleted my last profile so may redo it from scratch, and try to be more open minded. I do tend to find I either get attractive or totally unattractive, and not much in between, but I will try and be a little more open minded, and send some messages myself too. If it fails, it fails!

not sure why the repetition of open minded...other than that I am the most close-minded person usually!

If you want a help with the profile, give me a shout :)

Aim for day time, coffee dates, so its less effort as well. or walk in the park/ ice cream now the weather is better.

message men, dont sit back and wait, if they look half decent and can spell, message them. You can then filter them out based on replies. If you seem to click and it flows easy, get a date asap.

try to make it about ' dating' in general, rather than finding a relationship, if a relationship happens to find you, then great :) and if it doesnt, then at least you are out there meeting people.... which is giving more of a chance than being sat at home doing nothing about it :)

Will give it a try :) I suppose if I do daytime, then it slightly increases my availability - as I can just about leave the boys at home for a couple of hours on a Saturday without them killing each other, rather than having to limit myself to every other weekend when they're with the Ex.

;) thats great then

Im still stuck at every other weekend. Except dd is with her dad for 10 days over easter, so i intend to make the most and meet as many people as i can.

My reasoning is at somepoint, somone, surely will make it worth it, and in the meantime i might have some fun ( all being well) and get some funny stories if it doesnt.
Whatever, its still better than sitting at home on my own, or inviting myself along to be gooseberry again with some other couple.

Sounds like a plan :)

I have got a few other things lined up, work drinks this Friday, meeting up with friends over Easter, DS2's birthday party to organise (and my own which is creeping ever closer) so I should have less time in the next few weeks to stress and worry about the whole dating thing anyway (hopefully!)

Its always good to keep busy. And god knows i am busy atm, but someone has notcied that i have a "glow" in my cheeks and a giggle again! I ahvent told them about my date though yet, its only those on mumsnet who know! I am so looking forwards to it, and fortuantely i can put it down to being about to move!

A friend just got engaged, ironic we went to school together, she is getting married whilst i am getting divorced, and we grew up about ten minutes away from each other!

My friends a buddhist, totally pro-life and believes that stuff about people being born disabled because of sins in a past life - karma etc. Has put me right off him (I only found all this out two weeks ago).

as with all religion Buddhism can be interpreted in such a way that it supports pre-existing beliefs & values..
by pro life you presumably mean anti abortion?
(not that I want to open any cans of worms you understand!!)

Yes, sorry, should have said, very, very anti abortion, thinks women should have the child no matter the circumstances (rape/age/contraception failure etc etc). Think the karma/disability stuff was the reason a famous football manager got sacked?

Sorry, not really the thread for this, just wanted to say that some tenets can be problematic, although obviously depends on interpretation.

well he sounds like one to avoid
there was me being all idealistic..of course Buddhists can be barstewards too

All religions and cultures have their good and bad within them! I think you should judge the individual, not the religion/culture etc! But then again i am a firm believer in second chances and never judging a book by its cover!

Permission to join thread please!! seem to be going from one disaster to another:(

welcome..of course!
what seems to be the problem? :)

err, not that I'm any kind of expert..far from it
but I can at least commiserate with you

Just got the dreaded "friends" text message... "Rob you are a very dear friend and I don't want to lose that so let's just see how things pan out."

As Charlie Harper in 2 1/2 Men once said "I couldn't get laid if I painted my dick to look like money!" except I did get laid a bit so I can't really complain. One you miss out on is one you'll never catch up on and all that.

My profiles on PoF and Oasis are hidden at the moment, so I'm thinking of making new profiles with a slightly blurry photo taken at a distance and honest yet understated and disarming details (like a lot of women do) just to see if it gives a different result.

sorry about that poppa. Im not sure the whole blurry pic thing is the way to go though, im sure we have discussed that on here before. and im not sure that a lt of women do that at all, ive certainly never seen it.

bitofastate, sorry about your friend upsetting you so much with their beliefes. Obviously we all dont belive the same thing, and there are many people who are pro life who are not buddists, and probably lots of buddists who belive in abortion as well. Its not the religion that dictates so much as the person ( i did once know a ( part time) buddist who ate meat!!!!!so im not going to take any action right now, on what is a drink and cinema date.

poppa :( that said - fun while it lasted - onwards! upwards!

watch This is really interesting - I just couldn't 'date' someone who had voted tory.. I just couldn't, it just shreiks 'incompatability!!!' at me. Matt Smith would plummet in my estimation if he supported David Cameron! No sugar for smith! You're not getting it timelord! :)

deman03 hello! what's up? :)