Fuck Him and his Barbour - dating chat 10

[watchoutforthatsnail]

New thread - you know what to do :)

fwb means friends with benefits, ie hanging out and shagging, but no relationship.
Have you spoken to him about this?

MLM - wear whatever you feel good in, hes not going to make a decision based on your shoes.

milk - how are youi tpday? i know how you feel, ive only fancied a hanfdul in the 3 years ive been online dating, its a fucked when they dont call you back.

And yes, yesterday was dire. Was posting from my phone so you got the short version. I text him at 3.10 to say i was running 10 mins late, meeting him was 3.30 he text back to tell me he was already tehre!! when i got there, he was sat in the darkest corner of the pub, he didnt stand up, or move, or ask if i was ok, or how am i or anything. He had chosen to sit on a battered leather 1.5 person sofa, so i wasnt going to sit next to him, there was a large coffee table in the middle, then two upright chairs th eother side, so i had to sit on them, felt like a job interview. He was on the nice sofa and me on this hard chair ( just a wooden chair!!) after 10 mins he hadnt asked if i wanted a drink, so i said i was going to get one. and yeah, it was dire, 1 drink in 3.5 hours. It was a blazing hot day and we sat in that pub, me on the hard chair for the whole time, we could have sat outside, or had a walk down the river, got an ice cream... small, rural, riverside village, lots of people, all outside, haveing a fun, boats and stuff and i was stuck on the hard chair in the dark. He had no life in him, apparently doesnt really like people, only talked about sucba ( which he hasnt been doing long) gave me the technical names for everything, including latin names for fucking fish. Said he would dive with bullsharks, because that would be ok.... i told him about this bit in the paper the other day about a surfer being attacked by one in aus, and he told me he doesnt believe in the news....!!! and he could avoid a bullshark anyway. KNOB!!! just a knob. He didnt engage with me at all, on any level, at any joke i told ( even self depreciating ones, ) he just sighed and said ' ah, youll be ok' WTF!

Really, its soul destoying, im not looking for perfection, just someone reasonably normal, with a bit of life, and some dark hair ( and stubble) to talk with, and hang out with, and do stuff with. Im not even after fancy dinners, or being brought flowers or any thing serious, but i still cant seem to get anywhere.

oh and i think i have the best ' get out line ever'

i asked him what time time was, when i could stand it no longer. and then said this gem
' wow, really, hasnt that gone quickly, i think i should go though, because ive just remembered i havent fed my pets'

hahahahahahahahahaha

watch just wondering why you gave 3 and a half hours to this loser. Could you not have got away sooner? The writing was on the wall shoooorellly? Do you need one of us to ring with some kind of emergency in these situations?

Sorry about your shit date, watch. But please, when you do the next thread, can you call it 'I was stuck on the hard chair in the dark'

WATCH what it was was that he was so stunned with your beauty and confidence he didnt have a clue what to say, and felt if he stool up he would pass out, and thought you were well well well out of his league.

Onwards and upwards!

Between a cock and a hard place

Oh, I love that.
' between a cock and a hard place- dating chat 11'
Awesome!!!!!

:)

I tried to give him a chance, I really did. Which was why I stayed. I should have left straight away, I know this.

He didn't seem to react to me at all, so I don't know.. even Though I was looking hot yestetday and I know this for a fact because I caught about 10 men checking me out.

Anyways,
NEXT!!!!

Yes we spoke at length about it all watch. This is just who he is it seems, as described in my posts last night. He is great when we meet up and when we do speak on the phone. He is lovely

I guess just enjoy it for what it is Tea mind you it can be a bit painful if you feel you're more into it than the other person is.
With hindsight there are alot of times when I wish I could have brought things to a close earlier and ended on a sweeter note..but I only want to end it when I wake up to the fact that the other person is being a bit mean, and all the nice memories are overshadowed by feelings of pissed off-ness:(

I've just removed my profile from the site I was on, I have no appetite for it, the warmer weather is making me feel all relaxed and happy and the last thing I want to do is spoil it with yet another painful segment of small talk with some dumb bloke.

This summer I'm going to take up voodoo and astral travel instead

Tea, I am in a similar situation but without the travelling job. I have managed to relax about it all and enjoy it for what it is. Saying that I met the folks last night and he treated mine to a meal out. Mine being DD. But it's only casual dating . Your pilot sounds like he has a lot going on and I would let him deal with it all in his own way.

Milk, unfortunately when a hottie turns up your imagination works overtime thinking they must have a different woman every night. He might get back in touch yet. Don't contact him.

One word Watch, NEXT! Don't depair, you will meet someone who can give you what you want soon.

In the meantime, i am feeling bubbling at the moment, mainly cos everything is going right for a change! And the sunny weather (please stay for a while, cos i have a date to wear sandals to) i feel on top of the world for the first time in ages! I think today i nearly got i.d'ed for an 18 film,but then he looked at the boobs, and decided not too! They have their uses, but breast feeding wasnt one of them (not my choice, no supply)

Need a pair of skin tight jeans. Mum said something about putting them on and getting in a cold bath or was it hot, anyone know? Then i would just have to literally wriggle into them?

bloody hell, Watch that date sounds awful. How dare he waste your sunny afternoon! I would have been more annoyed at being stuck inside than the dull conversation (though that alone would be bad enough)

I am very meh about the whole thing at present. I am 40 in a few weeks, I haven't had a relationship in 3.5 years. It's never going to happen unless I set my sights considerably lower than I do now. And I don't want to settle for some unattractive, lacking in personality, man. So a Miss Havisham like future beckons I guess. Not really what I foresaw when I split up with the Ex but then life's not fair is it? Funny because everyone I know has no idea why I'm single. Every man I meet thinks I'm too great NOT to be in a relationship. This time last year no-one thought I wouldn't have met anyone in a year's time. And yet I haven't...

I seem to get looks but never get asked out. Someone last week told me it was because i "was intimidating" to men! I mean sweet innocent little me! But internet dating is MUCH easier, mainly cos i can be nice and they arent looking at me thinking, well i want her number but she'll only say no and i'll look stupid in front of my mates/ her etc? So internet dating is a success to me!

sponge i dont think life has to be so black and white that being single makes you a miss havisham.
Many relationships take alot more than they give, especially for women..we must stop buying into these negative spinster stereotypes, you dont need a man to validate you.
You are valid just as you are! :)

I think we need to listen to these lyric,

I am not waiting for a man to save me, i am happy where i am or depend on a guy to validate me, i dont need to be anyones baby,

Single status my declaration of independence!

Yes, i was listening to that 5 minutes ago, and it did help make me feel better after spliting with the exH! But in the meantime, i am going to have fun dating and flirting, not that i would ever have done that or been a tease, you understand

Loves I know I am valid single. I've had enough practice, I've spent most of my life single. But it's not what I want. I grew up as part of a very big family - grandparents, parents, aunts, uncles, cousins. That whole thing is so important to me, but I have no family left now other than the DSs, I feel sad for them and myself that I'm all the family they have.

I've made most things I want in life happen. Apart from a successful relationship which is one thing I've never had. It has become some sort of Holy Grail. Unattainable and probably non-existent.

I've done everything myself. I gave birth to both children on my own, neither of their fathers were there. I went through my first pregnancy utterly alone, and I might as well have been for the second for all the use he was. I have never ever been able to rely on a man for anything, never has having one made my life easier in any way. Every single thing I have, everything I have done, I have achieved myself, on my own. I don't know anyone else who can say that.

It is still possible, I still hold out hope my mum will find herself someone to spend the rest of her days with, at 65 in may, cos she hasnt since dad died, over 22 years ago.

the issue of whether a successfull relationship is attainable depends on your criteria for success in a relationship, given that we are mostly complex, contradictory and flawed invarious ways i suspect you're right on the money with the holy grail thing!

I can honestly say i feel a successful relationship is where both parties get happiness out of it, and whether that lasts a life time or a few weeks is still a success and if they support each other through it all.

I have had one, in that case, aged 15.

oh my word. I messages him
and said I didn't want to meet up again ... that's so hard to say even in an email message! but it's done and hopefully I won't keep being inundated messages now. I feel quite sorry for him !

sorry for punctuation. am on phone!

I think it's largely a matter of finding the right euphemisms Tolly,avoiding both cruelty and ambiguity.
then cut him dead if he persists

sponge - it WILL happen. Ive been single exactly the same amount of time as you have, and again, same as you, had no clue i would be single this long, and have friends and family that arr baffled by it.
But it WILL happen, it is highly unlikely we will go the rest of our lives being on our own.
I know it wears you down sometimes, ( i think it does all of us) being the only ones doing everything, shoulding the whole responsibility, and sometimes just wanting a hug from someone other than a family member.
But it will happen, it has to.

ok, so i have a date with a buddist next tuesday. What do we think about this? I know hes quite into in because he runs a buddist shop ( for work) and several buddist camps a year and has changed his name to something i cannot pronounce. We are meeting in a dirty pub ( his choice, then i put my foot in it by saying that i vagely remembered it from last year, having spent the evening drinking jagermeister off the bar... and hes teetotal) and then going to see the artist. i DO fancy him looks wise, hes very witty but kind of understated with it, i have no idea about buddism, so can somone translate what this might mean in relation to dating/ sex/ etc.... and is he just going to find me insane?

Chatting to a few online, one who told me i came across as clever and classy, but looked like, and i quote ' pure dirt' ever such a complement... WTF!!! considering all my pics are ones i have on my fb, can anyone on my fb confirm this for me?

YKW is also contacting me like a mofo. texts, calls, emails etc.. mostly because im not being very comunatative with him right now i suspect....