Fuck Him and his Barbour - dating chat 10

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New thread - you know what to do :)

Hello Parsley

Hello, nice to see you, come join and enjoy! I was new here once too, and new to being single, now I am bored of it and need someone to make me smile and to share the bed with! (not necessarily mine)

What do you need a pep talk for Tea? Assumes Dr Freud pose...

I've just started dating a 45 year old about a month ago. I'm 33. He's a pilot and is away a lot. Even when he is in the Country he lives about 50 miles from me and has a busy life. He rarely replies to texts or e-mails but doesn't ring me much either. I am finding it quite a shock to the system tbh and when we first got friendly, afterwards I didn't hear from him for days after one text. I'm starting to think I need nerves of steel to continue dating him, as even ex boyfriends and my ExH were more communicative, however they were all younger. Having said that, when we do speak, it is really lovely and he seems completely unbothered about however long it has been since I last spoke to him. It's also lovely when we see each other. It is quite nerve racking at times though. I have a panic sometimes and think "what if he's gone off me, but is too polite to say", but then as I said when I see him everything is fine. I think he is so used to being away and being single that this is just who he is and it is still early days. He seems to think talking every 3-4 days only is fine

So I will have wobbles and come here to panic talk to you all I suspect LOL

Hi all.

Haven't been on thread for ages so apologies Hope everyone is well?

I went for a drink with a guy from OKC on Wednesday night. He was totally gorgeous! Looked like a prettier Jude Law, and had a sexy posh boys Jack Whitehall style voice. We went for a drink, and I had to cut it short after 3 hours as I needed to be up at 5am the next day.

He walked me home, and then said we should go to a really nice looking restaurant that's just opened round the corner from me one night. I said that would be nice, but I haven't heard from him since

I'm fully aware that he's probably already forgotten who I am, but goddamit I NEVER meet anyone I fancy when I online date. He is so handsome though he probably has a woman for every night of the week. I don't stand a chance. It's all a bit depressing really.

Milk no thoughts really, there is time yet... Tea, have you had a conversation about this with him, or are you running it past the wise women (and Poppa) of MN?

Ok Tea have re-read, and he thinks 3-4 days is fine, so presumably you had the talk...

Hi Parsley I know, you just don't know do you? Although I am going to the cinema tomorrow with the boy I am actually in love with so maybe I shouldn't be too greedy?

Tea It sound's to me like you both have totally different ideas about what the 'relationship' should be about. Has he told you he just want's to keep it casual? I don't blame you at all for feeling like you do. That 'Oh God when will I next hear from them?', feeling is so awful Perhaps you need to steel yourself, and have a talk about it with him?

Yes we spoke. This is all so new to me after being married for 7 years and dating for almost 3 pre marriage. So it's all a shock to the system tbh. I hated dating the first time round too.

He does have a lot on in the next 2 months with a pending court case with his ExW over contact and maintenance as it was never agreed fully originally, due to being a court in a foreign Country (not Europe) can't say more just in case. ExW keeps blocking access to his DCs

I think he is so lovely I want to support him at this time, but yes feel a bit argghhhh sometimes at the contact situation

:( milk, Sorry.

Well, there is 3 hours I won't get back. Frankly my guinea pigs have more personality.. he was patronising and boring. In a purple damask shirt with cufflinks, in a riverside Pub on the sunniest day ever. And he didn't even buy me a coke, or even offer. He was sat with his own when I got there, and after 10 mins it was clear he wasn't.going to get me one, so I went off to the bar on my own.
Awful

milk maybe he doesnt want to seem too keen or pushy, but tbh i would rather just know, she who is getting nervous butterflies at the thought of meeting this person i am chatting to. So just play it calm, and dont get butterflies at everyphone call that comes in! She says. Little Miss know quite a bit, but cant apply to herself!

Tea you may always come here to panic talk, scream, shout, cry, whatever you feel like. Right now i am more like squeal! LIFE IS GOOD!!

Tea maybe it's a matter of getting used to him, or impressing upon him that it's important TO YOU. Could you compromise with every other day. Would he? Milk, you have another date, and he's 'the one that you want' (resists urge to sing song lyrics). Maybe this will go Very Well Indeed...

Watch very tight-fisted....

I'll tell you where I met my partner if it helps. We both help on a divorce course. He is well known there and a good man. Ironic I know I really enjoy helping on the course and have helped since early 2011. He helps sporadically when his job permits, so I'd never met him until this January. He asked me on the initial date and I was filled with terror and didn't respond for days until a good friend convinced me to say yes. It did go swimmingly in the first 2 weeks and then with his work and this sudden court case things have changed a lot.

Watch He didn't even offer to buy you a drink? Argh, that's so dreadful I almost have to words!

So sorry it was shite sad

I don't think I'd want a second date in watch's situation.

Parsley I'm afraid It's not as exciting as it sounds. He has a girlfriend and they are in an open relationship. Her choice (and that's not a lie as one of his best mates goes out with my flatmate so I know all the gossip)

So we are 'just friends' sadly. It's all very depressing, but I refuse to be his shag on the side

Just a quick question, what heels to wear for my date, i have a total of two pairs of heels or my sketchers (too dirty to wear) So either white sandals, beautifully comfortable or my other, not quite so high heels, quite uncomfortable, but maybe cos they are new? Do i wear them in a bit and hope for the best or go with the sandals i love, even though they are stupidly unpractical and white?

Comfortable MLM, I remember the story now Milk.

MLM I think wear what you are happiest in. The more comfortable you are, the more confident you will come across as being.

Tea contact every 3-4 days sounds quite frequent to me, I mean that's what I'd expect from one of the cosier type of fwb arrangments.
Is it an exclusive arrangement?
if not you could consider having another bloke on the go to stop you minding too much about the lack of contact from the pilot bloke:)

Tea come back!

watch that really is bad, most of the men I met turned out to be unshaggable/fuckers/eejits/ but they all jumped up and bought me a drink/coffee as soon as I showed up
stupid man, he's supposed to try and impress you ffs

What does fwb mean?

We are exclusive yes. But I do think that dating other men would help. However I do not want anyone else.