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Ugly Foof

95 replies

bumbums · 14/03/2012 13:54

Looking at my foof with a mirror Blush and its bloomin ugly. I don't blame my dh for not liking giving o.s. I think it looked slightly better before having my DCs??
What's your view on O.S.? I remember enjoying it with partners before my dh. He's a bit prudy though. Sad.

OP posts:
izzyizin · 14/03/2012 13:59

Wtf is a 'foof'. Have you got your foot in your mouth in the mirror?

My view on Axl Rose is that he's getting a tad bloated and I'm not entirely sure that, should occasion arise, I'd want him anywhere near my front bottom.

bumbums · 14/03/2012 14:03

Ok maybe I was trying not to be too explicit and in doing so hid my point entirely!!
I'm taking about fannies! Labias, vulvas etc

And oral sex.

OP posts:
izzyizin · 14/03/2012 14:11

Oh, you mean your fanjo.

At least I got the axl rose right.

There are certain cosmetics that can improve appearances and a spot of trimming by way nip/tuck can be considered as a last resort.

However, it seems your problem lies with your prudy dh who may not have developed a taste for oral sex.

What's his favourite flavour - chocolate, cream, tomato sauce? Think about what's in your fridge and give him and yourself a treat.

MissVerinder · 14/03/2012 14:12

Have you asked DH why he actually doesn't like it? Maybe it's becuase it makes his jaw ache, and has nothing to do with your "Foof."

DorcasS · 14/03/2012 14:24

I liked Axl Rose but there is no denying he's "lost it".

IvanaHumpalot · 14/03/2012 14:27

I doubt very much that you have an ugly foof, either before or after DC. I think because our foofs are tucked away and rarely on show, it's always a surprise re how they look for our partners. Porn foofs are over preened, plucked, bleached and not to be compared with. Perhaps all your foof needs is a spring trim.

Ask DH what it is about 'giving' that he doesn't like - uncomfy position/jaw ache, taste(!), hair etc... All things can be overcome and if not I would develop some phobias of your own...;). All things come to those that wait.

ChickensHaveNoLips · 14/03/2012 14:29

Can you have an ugly fanny? Don't they all look like the 'Alien' chest burster?

HepHep · 14/03/2012 14:31

Firstly, they do change when you have kids. Mine looks a lot different now, and to be honest I preferred it aesthetically before childbirth vs after. Still, I've learned to love it in its new incarnation Grin

Also, have you heard of the Great Wall of Vagina? This bloke took loads of casts of different women's vaginas, to help them see how much variation was normal in a hope it would lead to greater acceptance. You can buy a book of photographs of the casts, which I have seen, and let me tell you, there is no such thing as an ugly one. There are all wildly, varying and fascinatingly different. That's the beauty of the fanjo!

So long as you keep things clean and reasonably trim down there, I don't see how he can mind. My guess is that he's just never going to be very enthusiastic about giving oral, perhaps he's a bit afraid of it - and he was probably like that with previous partners too. It's not personal! He just doesn't sound much cop in the bedroom. Perhaps he's worried he's no good and doesn't want to try. Perhaps he's squeamish about a womans natural taste - do you go down on him?

For Gods sake don't go and order yourself a porn start fanny from some cosmetic surgeon, I'm sure it's fine as it it. I think it's your man with the issue, not you.

first1 · 14/03/2012 14:38

Ha 'foof' that's a new word I'll be stealing Grin
Hmm perhaps try a different style of waxing, go the whole hog Hollywood if hair puts him off. I have it done monthly - not solely for my man, for my personal preference - and yes it fracking hurts to begin with. Or have a 'hose pipe ban' on him too. Give him a taste of his own medicine and begrudge him some desires for a while!

first1 · 14/03/2012 14:40

Hephep - just looked at that link. I had no idea labia majora could be that ahem, big and flappy Confused

MyNameIsntFUCKINGWarren · 14/03/2012 14:41

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

valiumredhead · 14/03/2012 17:29

Three is no such thing as an ugly 'foof.'

coffeeinbed · 14/03/2012 18:53

It wasn't a magnifying mirror, now was it?
Grin

DinahMoHum · 14/03/2012 19:06

if he doesnt like giving OS, its not going to be because youve got an ugly foofoo.

does he never like doing it, even if youre clean and groomed?

Busybusybust · 14/03/2012 19:07

Oh, dearie me. Has he actually complained? So you still have a clitoris? So what's the problem?

And actually Biscuit

RightUpMyRue · 14/03/2012 19:16

Buy him this book.

Not read it cos DP is a marvel round a foof and doesn't need to but have heard good things. Good amazon reviews too.

As for it being ugly, I doubt it and well, he married you, he married your foof.

Al0uise · 14/03/2012 19:24

That wall thing made me a bit queasy, I'd be a terrible lesbian.

teenyweenytadpole · 14/03/2012 19:27

I love that wall, I think it's cool.

I've seen many a foof in my time (in the course of my work) and can assure you they come in all shapes and sizes. I am sure yours is perfectly lovely.

As for your DH not being keen on oral well I guess it's not everyone's cup of tea but it's a shame for you to miss out - have you talked to him about it? How handy is he with his fingers? Using a vibrator? Is he generally prudy or is it just this that bothers him?

blossom123 · 15/03/2012 10:04

Hey bumbums go on the embarrasing bodies web site and there are pictures of foofs and you will see they come in all shapes and sizes. We are all different. Has you dp actually said he does not like OS?

first1 · 15/03/2012 10:16

Hey we've all got different faces haven't we? Same goes for our fannies.

MsOnatopp · 15/03/2012 10:21

I genuinely have the biggest, droopiest, flappiest 'foof'. Meh. It seems to do the job nicely :o and as I have no intention on being a porn star or flashing it to many people I really couldn't care.

malinkey · 15/03/2012 10:28

Am I the only one who doesn't understand the axl rose comment? Confused

MsOnatopp · 15/03/2012 10:42

No malinkey, I don't either...

Giyadas · 15/03/2012 10:46

it's an anagram innit?

malinkey · 15/03/2012 10:48

Oh

Thank you

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