Ugly Foof

[bumbums]

Looking at my foof with a mirror and its bloomin ugly. I don't blame my dh for not liking giving o.s. I think it looked slightly better before having my DCs??
What's your view on O.S.? I remember enjoying it with partners before my dh. He's a bit prudy though. .

Btw OP, I'm sure you're foof is fine.
Where is the OP?

Wait, share the light with me cos I'm still stupid confused.

Axl Rose = Oral Sex.

Haha, look at that!! So it is Thanks.

I always thought Mr. Rose a bit Uriah Heap, not as in very eavy very unblemished, but asinine creepy. .ugh

As for oral sex

Fecking auto correct, I hate this bloody phone UMBLE

He's never put his face anywhere near the 'shop window'. Our sex life has never been red hot. But now in my 30s and I've decided its got to improve.

May well go for a hollywood wax and get the chocolate sauce out!

I think he doesn't know what to do down there. He hadn't had many partners before me and the ones he had all seemed to have been virgins prior to him.

Never look at your foof in the mirror from certain angles. Especially post childbirth. Especially if you've recently had a child.

Sounds like his previous partners have had extremely low expectations, then. Perhaps he likes them that way so he feels more secure. I can relate to that a teeny bit; if I am seeing a bloke I know is more experienced than me, I get a bit nervous and wonder if I'll be any good.

I've learned though that there is the 'don't know but can be trained' school of thought and the 'couldn't care less about your pleasure and so have never bothered to be better at it/try oral at all'. Just pray yours isn't the latter. And discuss sexual stuff outside the bedroom if possible or it can get a bit ego-bruising when you discuss it under the duvet while you're actually at it.

Human genitalia ARE all very ugly imo. If your bloke dosn't like giving then he's being a bit selfish. as long as you keep clean there is no excuse.

It sounds like his refusal to go down has affcted your confidence.

Urg, men who don't like doing that are alwaysusually shit in bed. I feel for you OP, and I'm sure your vagina is just lovely.

I don't mean that anything is wrong with yours; it came out a bit wrong;but there is definately something wrong with his refusal to go down.

William Bruce Rose Jr is the now looking somewhat the worse for wear lead singer of the band Guns n Roses who goes by the stage name Axl Rose and who chose this christian name and coupled it with is rl surname to give an anagram of oral sex.

Old Axl was dishy in his heyday but, as with most rock gods, I suspect he's a bit of a sleazebag and that any liking he has for oral sex stops at a blowjob and he doesn't get jaw ache from cunnilingus.

BTW, if a man complains of 'jaw ache' after going down on a woman he needs a trip to the dentist. Come on, people. He's not chomping for hours; he's engaged in showing how creative he can be with his tongue.

FWIW, I knew which part of her anatomy bumbums was referring to but it amused me to see whether she would be more explicit.

So you've opted for a hot brazilian, chocolate sauce, and a plastic sheet, bumbums? You sure know how to corrupt spoil a man

I brought this up in rl today. Funniest comment was "pre children mine was like a flute - now its like a fucking ripped out fireplace".

Despite the descriptions that flew thick & fast the general consensus was that a man that won't go down, doesn't get to stay. Especially if he's happy to accept a bj.

I never knew that about Axl Rose!

sorry no comment on OP's foof. I realised mine's put on a bit of weight like the rest of me recently (am 7 months pg). I've never had a fat foof before.

Killing myself laughing at this: "pre children mine was like a flute - now its like a fucking ripped out fireplace" Ain't that the truth. I'm divorced and I've just started dating a guy and my biggest fear is what he makes of mine.

AlOuise! I have just actually laughed out loud!

Apparently it's the last place you lose it too. According to Mimi Macguire from Shameless. She had a gastric band, lost loads of weight but still had a fat fanjo.

I just asked DP if had an attractive vagina. He said he doesn't have much else to base it on, so he can't really comment, and it doesn't remind him of anything from 'Starship Troopers' at all!

I've just had an education looking at the greatwallofvagina

Niz: that is so true.

fat fanj

Me too Tea! Some of those were HIDEOUS!