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Original poster

Why do men find girl on girl so much of a turn on?......

312 replies

oreoaddict · 13/03/2012 17:59

Hi everyone

Was just wondering really because when me and dp first got together he said that he didn't get it. Now though, he finds it a real turn on and just wondered why.

Women don't usually find the idea of 2 men together a turn on...........I think anyway.

Any thoughts? Would be great to hear from a mans point of view.

OP posts:

AnyFucker · 14/03/2012 10:51

heh

SlightlyJaded · 14/03/2012 10:51

Quint i too am guilty of faux lesbionics for the menz in my yoof (dancing/snogging in clubs). I did it for e's though.

QuintessentialyHollow · 14/03/2012 10:51

Totally.

But, inside many a girl experimenting like this, there may live a real lesbian. Or bi. Who knows.

AnyFucker · 14/03/2012 10:53

oh, I'm not saying it should outlawed or summat

just that the women/girls who indulge in it should see the true impetus behind it (in many cases)

man-pleasing

SlightlyJaded · 14/03/2012 10:54

at lesbianators

who perform 'lesbionics*

DinahMoHum · 14/03/2012 10:54

i dont think that men are less interested in the real lesbians unfortunately. I think a lot of real lesbians get harrassed as if theyre also putting on some sort of show if they happen to show affection to their partner in public. Thats what I hate most about the faux lesbianism

QuintessentialyHollow · 14/03/2012 10:55

man-pleasing maybe yes, but for totally selfish reasons!

I don't think I ever even considered that we were acting out a "pornographical" fantasy.

QuintessentialyHollow · 14/03/2012 10:56

It is youth, you dont think about the big perspective, and consequences to society and others.

SlightlyJaded · 14/03/2012 11:00

Quint I am not so sure (speaking for me not you obviously). I think I knew that what I was doing was really 'for show'. It was fun and as I was e'd up I was pretty much up for 'snogging' full stop', but ultimately, the kick I got out of it was knowing that someone else was getting an even bigger kick out of it.

And guess what? That someone was a man.

I doubt very much that there were any genuine lesbians in the club getting hot and bothered about it.

But certainly I had an innocence about the bigger picture then.

And no regrets.

I totally agree that some girls do discover their sexuality that way.

That's why it's called experimenting, innit.

QuintessentialyHollow · 14/03/2012 11:05

For me, it was for "beer" (but snogging was nice).

PosiePumblechook · 14/03/2012 11:10

Because two lesbians in porn are doing it for men, real life lesbians are not so attractive to men are they?

SlightlyJaded · 14/03/2012 11:12

Chandon · 14/03/2012 11:23

I think the key is that real life lesbians are not that keen to please men, so if it is a "show" as such it is bound to be "faux Lesbianos for de menz" or whatever it was called upthread (made me laugh :))

an 18 year old girl putting a pic on FB of her snogging a girl, is doing this to show boys she is naughty and happy to whatever to please a man.

Not much to do with lesbianism though.

I sometimes wonder if women are "programmed" to please men, or something. It would explain a lot (women loathing their bodies if it doesn't look like a 13 year olds, women religiously removing all body hair, women bending over backwards or any which way to pleas men, women snogging other women for show, having surgery to insert fake tits etc etc etc...)

Original poster

oreoaddict · 14/03/2012 11:49

chandon good point. The body hair thing concerns me though. I understand legs etc, but not down below. That's just weird. Every man i've been with has asked me to do that as some kind of present to them and i've always bluntly refused!

Porn really does have a lot to answer for doesn't it. I'm not saying I haven't dabbled in the past and rather hyporcritcally, would probably do it again, but i've always put my foot down when it becomes out of control with my dp. Some could argue of course, that's it's out of control the first time you watch it

OP posts:

OnTheFreeway · 14/03/2012 11:51

Have been reading this with interest. I hadn't really given it much thought before, despite being a feminist. I'm not sure it's as simple as "performance for the menz", but my experience doesn't seem to mirror most of what's being said here. My sexuality is quite fluid and in my late teens I did rather a lot of snogging a girl in clubs. In one way it was a show, as it got us free drinks, and we knew that guys were getting off on it - but in our case it really was my girlfriend of 4 years. We were doing, in public, what we would have been doing in private anyway, because it got us a cheap night out . Rather muddled thinking, I know. I did ask close male friends why they liked the idea of girl-on-girl, and the answer always involved "there's TWO sets of tits, innit?" and variations thereof. A few sleazy types asked if they could join in (nope!) so I'd agree that men probably do see it as not being real sex unless there's a penis involved. So that aspect probably is a feminist issue.

However, these days, I'm quite a fan of guy-on-guy slash fiction - haven't seen many other fans of it on MN, but I read it rather than writing it. I find it a turn-on, and it isn't because I want to join in, or am somehow transposing myself into the story. It's the aesthetic of the male body, the notion of two erections, two ejaculations. I currently don't find women attractive, and M/F erotica involves more descriptions of the female body/sexual reactions than I want to read just now. For me at least, that aspect is entirely to do with sexuality rather than feminism.

AnyFucker · 14/03/2012 11:55

so your dp is always pushing you to do stuff, oreo ?

< decides not to take the thread down a dark pathway >

chandon, that's just it isn't it ?

like I said, most of us grow out of inserting our tongue down other girls throats for the boyz

Original poster

oreoaddict · 14/03/2012 11:56

I definitely agree that most men wouldn't really get anything out of watching "real lesbians" at it. Having said that, aren't we kind of assuming that "real lesbians" are always butch and masculine?.....Of course this isn't the case.

Oh and yes, i've done the snogging girl friends in clubs to get drinks and attention. God, that sounds awful doesn't it. There's no harm in being honest on here though!! Non of you know me

Actually, I asked dp last night if he still liked the idea of seeing me with another woman and he said maybe for a bit, but after a while jealousy would kick in. That got me thinking.

OP posts:

AnyFucker · 14/03/2012 11:58

oreo, by it would be "ok for a bit" he means until he got a few orgasms out of it, then he would revert to thinking "hey, she belongs to me"

SparkyMcSparrow · 14/03/2012 12:00

I think I may need to get me some of this Slash

I think that if you wouldn't do it in private, for your own pleasure, then you should not be doing it in public/in pictures/ in front of your bf etc.

Whatever I have done with another girl, I did because I got off on it. There was no audience and we both had a bit of harmless fun. I would possibly do it again with dh around, in which case I would be getting off on the fact that it would turn him on as well as what I was doing with the other person.

However if I was out for a night, skint and some bloke said "Kiss her and I'll buy you a drink" then I probably would have done I still may have got a kick though

OnTheFreeway · 14/03/2012 12:01

I'd love to watch my dh with a guy. Wouldn't want to join in or anything. But he's only interested if I can arrange for it to be Jake Shears, and that's pretty unlikely.

SparkyMcSparrow · 14/03/2012 12:02

by it would be "ok for a bit" he means until he got a few orgasms out of it, then he would revert to thinking "hey, she belongs to me" ... and that he doesn't want you to like it too much just in case you flip to the other side

OnTheFreeway · 14/03/2012 12:03

Think that does make a difference, Sparky - doing something that you would be doing anyway. We did like the audience (and the drinks) but we also liked it in private as well. These days I wouldn't do it in public as I'm not into it at home. (Also am 37 not 18, so have a bit more sense.)

SparkyMcSparrow · 14/03/2012 12:04

I wouldn't like to see my dh with another man because I know he wouldn't enjoy it, however I would like to see 2 men who were really into it have a go, they would have to be manly men though!

SlightlyJaded · 14/03/2012 12:10

It's true that most men feel less threatened by another woman with their partner.

Time after time, you hear of people whose male partners would gladly have them involved in some 'girl on girl' because it's 'hot' but wouldn't contemplate their partner having any kind of sexual relationship with another man.

Men understand (consciously or otherwise) that the faux lesbianism thing is really for their benefit and most believe that their performance won't be compared unfavorably to another woman as it is not 'like for like'.

So the reason that most men don't get off on 'real' lesbians might is also because they know that they can't snap their fingers and make it stop. There is no "Ok that was hot, now roll over here and get some real man action"

I think most men imagine that lesbiatronics is actually some kind of foreplay which should actually always end in male penetration. That, they assume, is the pinnacle of pleasure.

Original poster

oreoaddict · 14/03/2012 12:10

Sparky, looking back actually my first sexual experience was with a girl, which I think is true with a lot of women. However, we weren't just practicing kissing By the age of 16, i'd gone further with a girl than with a boy, but I never really saw myself as gay or even bi. You're obviously happy with your sexuality and the fact that you can be attracted to women, so do you still see yourself as straight? This thread has got me really thinking in a different and unexpected direction.

OnThe, i'm just not sure if I could get a thrill out of watching my guy with another guy. I think the reason I like to see girls together is the fact that it's usually teasing and gentle. Am I right in thinking it's no so much that in male gay porn? Seriously, I have no idea though. I'm just assuming.

OP posts:

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