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Original poster

Why do men find girl on girl so much of a turn on?......

312 replies

oreoaddict · 13/03/2012 17:59

Hi everyone

Was just wondering really because when me and dp first got together he said that he didn't get it. Now though, he finds it a real turn on and just wondered why.

Women don't usually find the idea of 2 men together a turn on...........I think anyway.

Any thoughts? Would be great to hear from a mans point of view.

OP posts:
Original poster
oreoaddict · 15/03/2012 12:27

Oh and forgot to say that yes, he definitely meant it and no, he doesn't feel like he has to be there. He said he would rather it was just me and her, because if he saw me with another woman he'd probably last about 20 seconds anywayGrin

OP posts:
SparkyMcSparrow · 15/03/2012 12:30

So just wait and see. You don't have to do anything straight away. Do you go out with your dp much?
Me and my dh hardly go out at all now, which is why I think it hasn't happened for me. I'm sure dh would be lining them up Hmm Grin I do think my next door neighbour would be interested though, has crossed my mind a few times, but I think its too close to home, and she is turning into quite a good friend which are few and far between, so i wouldn't want to risk spoiling that.

QuintessentialyHollow · 15/03/2012 12:35

I honestly dont think it matters if it is a man or a woman, or if your husband has ok'd it. He does not feel threatened by it because it is a woman, and because he might not be aware of the strength of your emotions. I am sure he would feel different if it was a man, purely because he is one. How does he feel if you were to have a fling with another man? It is not even as if you are bi-curiuos and need to work something out. You have been there, done that and know what it is. I know this is a light hearted thread, but look at whether you give yourself permission to stray because you actually want to stray, or because you just fancy a female. Or because you could possibly right now shag anything that moved, except perhaps a goat.

QuintessentialyHollow · 15/03/2012 12:36

... and further, are you sure he took it as a green light, rather than just hypothetically?

Original poster
oreoaddict · 15/03/2012 12:38

What's wrong with goats?!Grin

OP posts:
SparkyMcSparrow · 15/03/2012 12:40
Hmm Grin
Original poster
oreoaddict · 15/03/2012 12:41

He would be gutted if I slept with another man, it would be the end of the relationship. It really wasn't hypothetical. Having said that, there's no way that we're not discussing it again. When I say one part of me wants to jump on the next attractive woman, of course i' m not actually going to do that.

OP posts:
SparkyMcSparrow · 15/03/2012 12:48

Get some lesbian porn for the time being Wink

Original poster
oreoaddict · 15/03/2012 12:58

Are you sure that's not just going to frustrate me more?

OP posts:
SparkyMcSparrow · 15/03/2012 13:02

You need to relax about it.
Your all frustrated and excited because you have only just discovered that it may be a possibility. Enjoy feeling what your feeling, let your dp enjoy what your feeling Wink and just wait and see what happens.

Will your dp go out with you to pick up a lady?

MrGin · 15/03/2012 13:19

:o

This threads gone through 180 degrees hasn't it

Original poster
oreoaddict · 15/03/2012 13:20

I really do need to chill don't I!

I remember a few months back there was this couple who were staring at me in this pub when dp had gone to the bar. Eventually I overheard him say," so you like her"? and she nodded shyly and they started basically groping each other under the table, which i'm sorry, but they knew I could see!ShockBlush I felt uncomfortable at the time because I thought they were going to come over and didn't know how dp would react. That's not going to be me and dp now is it?!ConfusedGrin

I'm calming down a little now.

OP posts:
Original poster
oreoaddict · 15/03/2012 13:22

Sorry Gin

OP posts:
MrGin · 15/03/2012 13:39

Oreo.

Don't apologize , I think it's good if it's opened up a door for you. Just tread cautiously would be my advice.

I do think your dp is being slightly nieve if he thinks there are less concerns about infidelity and what it might lead to if you couple up with a woman rather than a man. But obviously you know him and yourself better than me.

You may not be able to put your inner lesbian back in the box though.

Original poster
oreoaddict · 15/03/2012 13:46

You have actually hit the nail on the head there gin. I'm am worried that it'll open doors that I don't necessarily want opening, or at least want to be able to close at some point.

OP posts:
SparkyMcSparrow · 15/03/2012 13:50

You may not be able to put your inner lesbian back in the box though

That may be partly my fault Blush Grin

Nyac · 15/03/2012 13:51

If you do get off with another woman, don't pick up a lesbian, because they get very pissed off with het tourists who are just collecting stories to titillate their male partners.

Also men who don't get bothered about this sort of thing are treating relationships like owning a woman. As only men can own women, other women aren't a threat to that.

QuintessentialyHollow · 15/03/2012 13:57

I think the reason why your oh is not threatened is that he does not understand bisexuality.

As any bisexual should know, gender is not important, person is. Who cares if the love/sex interest right now is male or female? If it were not for social convention and stigma, you would quite possibly be able to have a relationship with either a man or a woman, and love either equally the same. Your husband does not understand this, because he is most likely straight and the mere though of falling in love with a man is beyond him.

Women, and I am stereotyping right now, very often have a tendency to not be able to separate sex and love, and tend to become emotionally detached.

Just be careful.

I am normally found on threads pointing my strict frigid finger at any person contemplating affairs, because it is not fair on the cheated on party, and because you risk damaging your own mental stability. Your husband has given you the go ahead. But is he (and you) exactly aware just what pandoras box you guys are potentially opening?

QuintessentialyHollow · 15/03/2012 13:58

I should qualify what I say about social convention and stigma, by this I mean most likely as perceived by you, not necessarily society.

Original poster
oreoaddict · 15/03/2012 14:21

Wise words Quint. It's not something i'm about to leap into so to speak. Like I said earlier, me and dp will be discussing this a lot more. I suspect though, that he'll just repeat what he said last night.

OP posts:
Gay40 · 15/03/2012 16:18

I'm not really a gambling person, but I'd put good money on the fact you will SERIOUSLY struggle to slam the door afterwards.
Also, your husband probably hasn't factored in the fact that once he has had his titillation over the idea, there's an interloper in his marriage that is taking up rather a lot of his wife's headspace.
Not all lesbians hate tourists. Some of them like the fact they are doing a bloke out of a job.

Original poster
oreoaddict · 15/03/2012 17:08

Gay, doing a bloke out of a job! GeniusGrin

I'm not actually expecting to be able to slam the door afterwards. I expect I will always lust after certain women, but I know i'll always want to be with a man. I couldn't be in a relationship with a woman. I only find some of them sexually attractive, but I never fantasise about what it would be like to be with that person as a partner. Far too many hormones for me. Also, i've already opened the door, the doors kind of ajar. I know I can't close it, it's just weather or not I open it all the way.

I've gone a bit metaphore mad on this thread today!!Grin

Are you speaking from experience?

OP posts:
Gay40 · 15/03/2012 17:20

I think most lesbians can speak from experience Smile

I was young and single once (neither now). Say no more Grin

TBE · 15/03/2012 17:25

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MrGin · 15/03/2012 17:29

< peeks through Oreo's ajar door. Faints >