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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Support thread for those in Emotionally abusive relationships number 7

999 replies

foolonthehill · 10/03/2012 10:46

Am I being abused?

Verbal Abuse A wonderfully non-hysterical summary. If you're unsure, read the whole page and see if you're on it.
Emotional abuse from the same site as above
Emotional abuse a more heartfelt description
Signs of Abuse & Control Useful check list
Financial abuse Are you a free ride for a cocklodger, or supposed to act grateful for every penny you get for running the home?
Women's Aid: "What is Domestic Violence?" This is also, broadly, the Police definition.
20 signs you're with a controlling and/or abusive partner Exactly what it says on the tin

Books :

"Why Does He Do That?" by Lundy Bancroft - The eye-opener. Read this if you read nothing else.
"The Verbally Abusive Relationship" by Patricia Evans ? He wants power OVER you and gets angry when you prove not to be the dream woman who lives only in his head.
"The Verbally Abusive Man, Can He Change?" by Patricia Evans - Answer: Perhaps - ONLY IF he recognises HIS issues, and if you can be arsed to work through it. She gives explicit guidelines.
"Men who hate women and the women who love them" by Susan Forward. The author is a psychotherapist who realised her own marriage was abusive, so she's invested in helping you understand yourself just as much as helping you understand your abusive partner.
"The Emotionally Abusive Relationship: How to Stop Being Abused and How to Stop Abusing" by Beverley Engels - The principle is sound, if your partner isn't basically an arse, or disordered.
"Codependent No More : How to Stop Controlling Others and Start Caring for Yourself" by Melody Beattie - If you a rescuer, you're a co-dependent. It's a form of addiction! This book will help you.
But whatever you do, don't blame yourself for being Co-dependent!

Websites :

So, you're in love with a narcissist - Snarky, witty, angry, but also highly intelligent: very good for catharsis
Dr Irene's verbal abuse site - motherly advice to readers' write-ins from a caring psychotherapist; can be a pain to navigate but very validating stuff
Out of the fog - and now for the science bit! Clinical, dispassionate, and very informative website on the various forms of personality disorders and how they impact on family and intimate relationships.
Get your angries out ? You may not realise it yet, but you ARE angry. Find out in what unhealthy ways your anger is expressing itself. It has probably led you to staying in an unhealthy relationship.
Melanie Tonia Evans is a woman who turned her recovery from abuse into a business. A little bit "woo" and product placement-tastic, but does contain a lot of useful articles.
Love fraud - another site by one woman burned by an abusive marriage
You are not crazy - one woman's experience. She actually has recordings of her and her abusive partner having an argument, so you can hear what verbal abuse sounds like. A pain to navigate, but well worth it.
Baggage reclaim - Part advice column, part blog on the many forms of shitty relationships.

OP posts:
HoudiniHissy · 25/03/2012 15:25

Fool... when you are ready, you WILL be able to accept love again.

No matter what we go through, we will always be capable of receiving love.

I'm standing on that diving board myself, looking down into the deep end of the pool of love, nervous, but excited, thrilled and exhilarated about the leap I am so close to taking.

semi smitten

HoudiniHissy · 25/03/2012 15:27

I sense the growing need for another Hissy namechange...

Kernowgal · 25/03/2012 15:38

Hello all, I'm a newbie here (and not actually a mum, but my partner has three kids and we have custody EOW). On Friday I reached breaking point having spent the day running errands for DP (and meeting the ex-wife for the first time!) only to have him snap at me for something trivial and then sit there on his fat arse until I gave in and cooked us some dinner. We have been together for 18 months and the relationship has followed the classic EA route, but I have only just realised this. I am fucking furious, if I'm honest, that I've let myself get into this situation. I'm scared about what to do next as I have absolutely no idea how he will react when I tell him I want out. We have reached the stage of almost no return several times before but I have always taken him back, only for things to quickly turn to shit again. Anyway I have just made a list of the kind of thing he does as I'm sure a lot of it will resonate with you all!

? I can't seem to do anything right
? Damned with faint praise (food ?not bad?); never really pleased with anything I do
? Do a lot for him but it feels pretty thankless at times; he does almost sweet fuck all for me except things I haven't asked him to do and then he gets pissed off when I'm not as grateful as he expected
? Mood suddenly turns at the slightest thing and without any warning
? Has an incredibly short fuse
? Makes me feel like an idiot (?how would you know?? also calling me bloody useless then denying it angrily and making me apologise to him when I know what I heard)
? Makes no effort around the house as it is ?your house?
? Rarely displays any affection towards me; if I didn't initiate sex we wouldn't have any
? Makes me feel guilty if I show any sign of wanting to leave by telling me the children and his parents would be upset
? Makes me feel guilty for not wanting to do what he wants to do
? Sulks if we don't do what he wants to do
? Tries to control what I eat but then eats what he wants
? Gets snappy if I don't do things to his liking or quickly enough
? Has no patience with me
? Jealous of my past, my lack of ties, my independence
? I feel I am at the bottom of his list of priorities
? I feel anxious about making decisions or doing new things because he belittles me.
? Makes occasional insulting comments about my appearance and when I challenge them he says they are a joke. I am too tall/fat/whatever
? I am cold and selfish
? He acts like a victim and refuses to take responsibility for his life and his actions
? I feel exhausted by it all
? He makes me feel guilty for not having done something with my day on a day off because he is a workaholic
? Doesn't want to spend any money on rent/bills yet bitches and moans about how cold and small the house is
? I don't talk enough or contribute to conversations
? Even though I work full time, I do most of the cooking and cleaning
? Makes frequent allusions to my lack of long-term relationships
? Makes light of any ideas I have or plans I think about making
? Can get paranoid after smoking dope, though this isn't ever targeted at me, thankfully
? Didn't even attempt to remember my birthday yet when I didn't show the required level of enthusiasm on his, having only found out at the last minute that he'd even be around, he behaved like a complete cunt.
? Gives me the silent treatment (though I am equally guilty of this and wish I could deal with it better).

Sorry if this turns out to be incredibly long - it's rather cathartic to write it all down. I know I need to get out but I love him and can see how much pain he's in. But maybe me leaving will force him to get the counselling he so desperately needs (hollow laughter).

Apologies for my language, but I am so damn angry right now.

I have managed to retain some control over my life, however: he hates McDonalds with a passion and so I treat myself to a weekly Big Mac and medium fries and sit there thinking "fuck you fuck you fuck you" as I eat it.

Kernowgal · 25/03/2012 15:38

Oops that was massive. Oh well!

detachandtrustyourself · 25/03/2012 16:03

Abit I missed your post about how to recognise, what self soothing thing

to say to yourself, have to think about that, still struggling with it but got better, can't

do it every time.

Coincidently my post after yours cross posted, the thinking "there he goes again" is one been suggested to me, but I'll try to think of any others, and how to recognise. Hopefully some others can think as well.

I like foolonthe's suggestions.

I think there's a book about it.

One I use (when I recognise it in time) is to think, "oh not that again, how
boring, wish he'd change the record"

When something little pushes you over the edge, (like the glasses, when you were fuming and frustrated about you were supposed to get over him fucking that woman in your bed?)

Well, to help prevent that, you could, before the next time you have to talk to him.

  1. vent on here,

or2. tell or text a friend who will say something satisfyingly harsh about him, like

" fucking wanker!", for just one example

or 3. Write it all down, all your angry thoughts that he refuses to discuss or listen to you about. All what you really think of him.

Put loads of swearing in it, call him swear words (on the paper), then swear

about him when you're very angrily, ripping up the paper into tiny pieces.

(don't forget to rip it up and dispose of discreetly)

Then do something calming.

I've found that quite therapuetic anyway.

detachandtrustyourself · 25/03/2012 16:10

oh and stamp angrily on the paper or the ripped up bits as well.

HoudiniHissy · 25/03/2012 16:26

Kernowgirl - my love well done! You have spotted this YEARS before most of us do!

You are in an abusive relationship. That is clear.

The fact that he is SO nasty, so soon, means that it won't be long before this escalates.

I can say that nearly every point you have made was what My ex did to me... including the birthday thing.... for over 10 years. Even last birthday he deliberately confused it with the birthday of his mad psycho bitch ex GF (of 12 years ago). I flipped my effing lid at him by text (Ex is abroad)

You need to get him out of your home, by fair means or foul.

be calm and involve the police if you need to. It's a short relationship, so no need to hang about, you have no ties, you need to just say uh-uh, not working, and I've decided to end it. Once and for all.

Kernowgal · 25/03/2012 16:34

We live together (rented accom) but he does have an alternative base. I dread to think what he'll tell his parents and the kids but I'd hope all know me well enough to realise I couldn't carry on.

HoudiniHissy · 25/03/2012 16:37

It really doens't matter what he tells the kids or his parents about you.

It will be lies and if anyone ever bothered to ask you, you can prove yourself. he can't.

FWIW, his parents may already know! They may realise he's abusive... doubtless his ExW would have said it....

What was she like? nice?

detachandtrustyourself · 25/03/2012 16:44

It's great that he has an alternative base, kerno. No excuse not to go then. You can get a court order to get him out and make him stay away, if needed.

Nearly all of what you said resonates with me.

Kernowgal · 25/03/2012 16:53

His ExW was very nice! It's a massively complex situation that I won't go into for her and the children's privacy but suffice to say it doesn't sound like it was a healthy relationship and everybody suffered, him included. Trouble is, he's never had any counselling and I wonder if there's a bit of post-traumatic stress behind a lot of his behaviour. He said at the start of our relationship that he had very low self-esteem and despite my best efforts it hasn't got any better. Mind you, paranoia from regularly smoking skunk won't help... sigh...

HoudiniHissy · 25/03/2012 17:02

Kernowgirl, with the list you have spouted in a relationship of less than 18m, you don't need to get involved in his 'complex situation'. If it's come from him, it'll be magnified/altered to make himself look better/a victim. Knowing the freakish stranger I saw my ex turn into the day I ended it after over 10 years after I met him proved to me that we never know these people, only what they want us to know. Be ruthless. If it were HIM , he would be. And you know that don't you?

If you do one thing for yourself for the rest of your life it's CUT HIM OFF RIGHT NOW. Black and white. As bluntly as that.

Deep breath, end it.

i wished I had been as quick to have caught on as you... Sad

ParsleyTheLioness · 25/03/2012 17:06

Kernow don't get hung up on the 'if he had counselling' idea. My NSDH had several bouts of counselling by himself, over a course of roughly the last 10 yrs (of a 20 yr marriage). He would be much better whilst it was going on, then revert to abusive arsehole self after it. So after four really quite expensive periods of counselling, he was no further forward, but had been indulged to talk about his horrid life presumably. Some of us (me) just take longer to wake up and smell the coffee...

Kernowgal · 25/03/2012 17:17

Yeah I think unless he gets over his victim mentality nothing will ever change, certainly not in our relationship. He seems to forget that he had a choice in almost everything that has happened to him. Sometimes I think he is wilfully naive (ignorant?) about how things could turn out and then blames someone else when the situation goes wrong.

I think he knows I've had enough. When he left with the kids earlier he said 'bye stranger' and we just stared at each other.

Wrenner · 25/03/2012 18:42

I feel like im coping certain behaviour that's done too me sometimes. Very moody and shut down. Also have moments of pure rage too?! Does anyone else get these?? Am I being just as bad?

Wrenner · 25/03/2012 18:43

Kerno- get out now while u can!!

foolonthehill · 25/03/2012 18:58

Kerno...you've seen it, you've named it...now get him out of there.

Wrenner...yes all of those feelings, an unhealthy relationship breeds unhealthy coping strategies.

OP posts:
Wrenner · 25/03/2012 19:07

Good (u kno what I meen) sometimes think if only I could act differently but seems I have nothing left now. He has applied for grief counselling and emailed a woman. I'm not holding my breath but do feel more positive. Also I find if I try to explain to my friends what's gone on or a specific incident it sounds silly when I say it out loud x

LalaDipsey · 25/03/2012 19:43

Hi - can I join?! No idea how to link but I have been posting on the thread 'dh hates being a parent' in the parenting section and have come to see how EA dh is. I am working up to ending things once I have taken some legal, WA & CAB advice. I was wondering HOW you actually end it though? I can't picture it, can't see it my head, have no idea if he will leave or not!!
Sometimes I still think I have imagined it all when he is nice againConfused

foolonthehill · 25/03/2012 19:59

Hi Lala....(guessing you have children of a certain age???) welcome...well the things we all seem to have in common here on the EA thread is the mistaken beliefs that we are making mountains out of molehills and that if only we cold find a better way of dealing with it it would all be miraculously better!!! we are not and we can't (obviously).

if you look up thread a little you'll see that some are still in and some of us have left and some got him to leave. Be safe, have a plan and have all your ducks lined up... unless you are in physical danger in which case just be safe!

I'll be back later...many hairs on many heads to wash........

OP posts:
LalaDipsey · 25/03/2012 20:21

Thankyou foolinthehill. I have done a little reading of the thread from my iPhone and look forward to when dh stops being on holiday and I can get my laptop out and read it properly from the beginning. I have a beautiful dd (2.8) and b/g twins (3 months)

foolonthehill · 25/03/2012 20:40

Gorgeous...but sorry you may be in an EA relationship. I have many DCs, (no twins) it's so exhausting trying to deal with "normal" life and the EA rubbish. truly amazed that you can string 2 lines together at this stage in your DCs lives. Grin sure I couldn't

OP posts:
Sweepitundertherug · 25/03/2012 20:45

LalaDipsey

Exactly the same as I have been for years with the "I think I imagined it all when he's nice again"

So now I am documenting most of the stuff he does or says on my thread.

I am glad I am doing so because I had normalised his behaviour and didn't realise just how much he was using ea. basically is is constant.

Anywa, it will help you to document what is happening.

Congratulations on your twins btw! X

LalaDipsey · 25/03/2012 20:51

Hiya
Sweep - I have read a lot of ur thread u brave lady - u have been spurring me on to take action!!!
Foolinthehill - I have to string sentences together as dh behaviour has racheted up since they were born and I desperately need support!!
How lovely you have lots of dc Smile altho what a bugger u also have a EA twonk to deal with

arthriticfingers · 25/03/2012 20:52

Another sorry you have to be here, but another big gorgeous on little girl and twin babies :)