Abit I missed your post about how to recognise, what self soothing thing
to say to yourself, have to think about that, still struggling with it but got better, can't
do it every time.
Coincidently my post after yours cross posted, the thinking "there he goes again" is one been suggested to me, but I'll try to think of any others, and how to recognise. Hopefully some others can think as well.
I like foolonthe's suggestions.
I think there's a book about it.
One I use (when I recognise it in time) is to think, "oh not that again, how
boring, wish he'd change the record"
When something little pushes you over the edge, (like the glasses, when you were fuming and frustrated about you were supposed to get over him fucking that woman in your bed?)
Well, to help prevent that, you could, before the next time you have to talk to him.
- vent on here,
or2. tell or text a friend who will say something satisfyingly harsh about him, like
" fucking wanker!", for just one example
or 3. Write it all down, all your angry thoughts that he refuses to discuss or listen to you about. All what you really think of him.
Put loads of swearing in it, call him swear words (on the paper), then swear
about him when you're very angrily, ripping up the paper into tiny pieces.
(don't forget to rip it up and dispose of discreetly)
Then do something calming.
I've found that quite therapuetic anyway.