To think Dh is totally out of order?

[Geordieminx]

Wil try and be brief.

Trip to shopping centre yesterday lunch time. Dh who was been there as many times (dozens) as I have gets into wrong lane, starts stressing, I try and tell him (not very sympathetically) which lane, he gets cross, I apparently (not sure) spoke to him like crap.

Anyhoo, he tells me to fucking shut up, in front of ds (4). I tell him to apologise, he refuses. I get ds out of the car, and tell him to give me a ring once he has calmed down as ready to apologise for speaking to me like that. He tells me if I get out of the car he is going and I can make my own way home.

Thought he would calm down, things would be frosty but it would be ok. Only not. He didn't come back, rang him once, no answer.

So ds and I had to make our own way home. (didn't even have any house keys), bus then train then lift from friend, in the rain without any coats. We managed though.

He rocks home at 7.30, goes straight to bed and has made it clear he isn't speaking to me.

Argument aside I can't believe he just drove off and left us. Not quite sure what he expected us to do/get home/in. Thankfully my friend has a key.

Just seems like a total shit house thing to do, esp to a 4 year old who was totally aware of the situation and kept asking why daddy had left us, why he wouldn't come and get us

Did I deserve it?

Things are ok Ish. Fri/say he seemed very remorseful... Yesterday today not so much... In. Particular posting a pic on fb of him totally shit faced with his arms around some woman

Will update properly tonight though, I really appreciate the kindness and time everyone is giving me.. Can't really talk about this much in RL

Geordieminx, can you not kick him out? Surely anything is better than living with him? Am so sad for you. It must be horrific living like that; and your poor little boy will be suffering too.

fwiw i don't think you're unreasonable.we are all back seat drivers - i'm awful. my dh still doesn't dump me 20 miles from home. he is behaving like a twonk.

i hope this has been a big wakeup call for him and that he'll stop acting like a child.

good luck

Ok so he thinks its reasonable to go out and get hammered and have his arms around another woman? Geordie he is still trying to control you/make you jealous etc. You don't need to put up with this and its not fair that he expects you to. He really is behaving dreadfully - you don't have to live like this

Think you both need to grow up

Well you know full well that its just manipulation on his part Geordie.
To be able to cheat on you he would have to be able to get it up which is something he hasnt been able to accomplish for a while, or be willing to seek help for. Yet he expects you to put up with it.
Not only does he enjoy manipulating and controlling you he also enjoys playing "i dont want you but i dont want anyone else to have you" cos he wont let you get it elsewhere wil he?
Yet he poses on facebook with another woman?
Never mind shell soon find out that the only fucking hes interested in is mind fucking. Hope you are doing ok Geordie. What an utter utter bastard.

Geordie, he is supposed to be in a period of time where he is trying to make it right between you and he posts a picture of himself with his arms round another woman. Is that an action of a man who is "remorseful"? Stop listening to his words and start looking at his actions.

Time to post an informative comment on the pic I think.

Something on the lines of all coat and no pants?

I cannot believe the posters who think this is 6 of one and half a dozen of the other.

This is a man who abandoned his family and drove off knowing they were 20 miles from home.

This is a man who gives the extreme silent treatment for days.

Georgie. The difference between you now and me after 20 years, is you now know you are being emotionally abused. And my H would NEVER abandon his family. This is extreme. Leaving a 4 year old, to punish you?????????????

Life should not be this mean and this joyless. Really. You would be better off without him.

Let us go back to the original problem.

She advised him which lane he needed to be in because he was lost.

That's it. She TOLD him which lane he needed to be in. No, she NAGGED. In the 'wrong tone of voice'.

See how it is her fault? How is pointing out another lane, a pizzle shrivelling, unmanning, testicle-shrinking HARRIDAN thing to do?

In his mind, and in his world only. Georgie, it won't change. Accept this reality this early on. Work on yourself, because you are going to have to anyway, in the end...

Bit worried about you Geordie love. Are you ok? PM me if you can. x

I'm worried too. Have looked for you gm almost daily just to see if you're OK. Hope you are.

HI geordie hope you are ok.

YANBU. You have my sympathy GeordieMinx.

I was in a similar relationship to yours many years ago living with a most unsuitable man with terrible mood swings. I regularly got the silent treatment and woe betide me if I eventually asked him what was the matter - that would be ME provoking an almighty argument. Looking back I think he was abusing anabolic steroids.

I got away from him but ended up out of the frying pan and in the fire with another abusive dickhead and cannabis user.

Both men had tried to convince me that I was the one that provoked them.

I met the love of my life, my now DH 12 years ago and now have a normal relationship! We tell each other when we are in the wrong lane with no drama whatsoever!

It is bliss I tell you!

I am sorry that you have had less than sympathetic responses on this thread.

Nothing has fucking changed. 2 days of "niceness" has been replaced by standard service of moodiness spitefulness and general bad temper.

I am so sad. I don't want this life anymore. I don't know what I an doing here really I don't. I used to see it as a set of scales, where as long as the good outweighed the bad then we'd be ok.

I can't remember the last good never mind the good outweighing the bad.

I went to a concert on Monday night, went to come home, major train disruption do I text him. Never got a response. Got home nearly an hour an a half later, he was like "oh I looked online and saw there were some trains so presumed you were ok"

He just makes me so sad.

Kick the fucker out. Life's too short!

Sorry to hear that GeordieMinx, it doesn't sound a fun relationship or way of life. :(

So what are you going to do?

Right now? I have opened a bottle of red. Plan on getting plastered.

Get through the weekend then Monday start sorting shit out.

I have to.

If things don't change then they stay the same

I like the sound of sorting shit out.

Yeah, sort out yer shit! Onward and upward without some entitled, doleful old git hanging round your neck like a stone, sucking all the joy out of life.

My shit shall be be sorted and then it will no longer be shit. It will be relaxed and happy and carefree and funny and free

I like the sound of relaxed and carefree and happy and free even more

That's how I am when I'm not with him.

Good - that's how you deserve to feel.