The Brave Babes Battle Bus - On Their Way To Giving Up The Booze For Lent (or just for today)

[Mouseface]

Hello, I'm Mouse

Welcome to the Brave Babes Bus where you'll find a mix of drinker, non drinkers, those who has been sober for a long time, and those who are getting there One Day At A Time.

Come and say hi....... we won't bite

And if you want to know how this all got started, HERE is a link to the previous threads.

Hello everybody I;m wondering if i can jump on this Bus. I've read all the posts as it's only 4 pages (some of these threads in the past have overwhelmed me because they're so long) and I am impressed with all you amazing people.

I've been drinking three quarters to a whole bottle of wine every single night (almost) for a very long time - too long - and especially enjoy it on an empty stomach for some reason. I stopped last Sunday so it's nearly one week. However, I feel worse not better and for the past two days have had headaches (i wasn't prone to headaches before). Is this normal?

Rain, I am thinking of you. If you have bottomed out, only one way to go, up.

NigellasGuest, hello. Yes very normal. When you haven't been professionally detoxed with the right medication, you have to understand that your bod is just expelling so many toxins and is reacting to that. Drink as much water or juice as you can, get some Vitamin B tablets, especially THIAMINE. Flushing the poison out can take up to two weeks. Be strong, and welcome to this wonderful place.

nigella welcome to the bus
rain are you ok? Keep posting.
Thurso you have been in my thoughts - where are you? Is all ok with DH?

Hi Nigella you are doing really well, just about a week already! What you are feeling is what we call seeing the hangover through to the end, and feeling grotty is unfortunately par for the course. But very soon you are going to get the BOING! This is when the detox is over and you feel much, much better and pleased with yourself and powerful, so keep on going.

Ma, Onesunny your day will come.

Thanks to those who asked after me, I feel good actually, I sorted my shit stuff, wrote out my timeline as best as I could and untangled a lot of thoughts.

I have had such a downer on myself through my life, I blamed myself for feelings, actions and reactions that were absolutely not my fault. I drowned my feelings in booze, but now I am free.
So I burned the stuff I wrote down, as I am still not able to share it with anyone else except you babes. I burned a letter from the perpetrator that I have kept for 35 years, I don't know why I kept it - it was full of sanctimonious lies, and I burned school reports. I am not an advocate of false priase, but how did they think it was OK to mark children as 'average - minus'! great for my self esteem eh - but the real mystery to me is why did I keep this stuff all this time? I guess it is only now that I am strong enough to deal with.
I have lit my candle, thanks for being there my friends.
XX

I will light a candle for you tonight Bproud - in fact you should Bveryproud of what you have acheived today...... I hope you can move forward from this in the most positive way

BProud, it sounds like this is such a positive thing for you to have done. It must have taken great strength and courage to face all these horrible thoughts and memories, but I think you will find a new inner peace now, and confidence and self-acceptance that it sounds like you haven't had before . I really admire you for doing this. You should indeed BVeryProud . I will light a candle for you now x

sunny I have been in the same position as you,it sounds like you already know the right thing to do and you know it will hurt.Lots of hugs to help you get through and well done on the uni place,amazing news.

Ma that is the kind of poem I like to print out and keep in my handbag.

Rain :( but also :)

Bohica snap

mouse I really hope your dh is at least a bit better today

Nigella hello and you sound just like me with the empty stomach bit :(

Bproud nothing but admiration for what you have done

Me,well this has not been a good week at all,all the effort I put in to not drinking went out the window this week,will not bore you all with the details but it's been stressful to say the least and I have not felt strong,just been reprimanded by little miss quiet and mr quiet for saying I am totally useless,but that at this present moment in time is precisely how I feel :( All I can try to do this evening is minimise the quantity but as have had 3 glasses of wine already it will be a battle of wills,just need to get through till midweek next week then touch wood things will improve.

I hope everyone else is having a blessed evening,wether drinking,abstaining or restricting :o

bproud candle lit here in honour of your progress

Candle lit here too Bproud x

Welcome to the bus Nigella and well done so far. Stick with it, you will feel so much better soon. Stock up on lots of lovely soft drinks and flavoured teas, hot chocolate, etc. and whatever sweet treats you like, to replace all the sugar you're not getting through alcohol .

Rain thinking of you, come back soon x

Quiet you have learned something this week about how you feel about drinking again. You don't like it. So write today off, start again tomorrow and keep this feeling at the front of your mind next time you are tempted. Do not beat yourself up! Use the experience to achieve a different result next time

Bproud, really symbolic burn fest there. Opening and closing wounds all at the same time. I bet you feel exhausted.

Oh dear Quiet. I wouldn't worry about damage limitation tonight either. Just go with the flow. If you are not in the right place yet it is pointless trying too hard. Can't force it, just got to feel it. Not liking the lack of support though.

Think I have eaten too much tonight, feel like a real porker oink

Nigella welcome aboard

Bproud - you sound so brave and strong, it sounds likeab incredibly emotional and difficult thing to do. ((( )))

Mouse hope DH is improving

Trinity - how are you doing?

Guess what. Day 2 here. Partly because I felt so rough yesterday. But a bit of willpower too.

The thing is DD was v ill last night. I had a gut feeling she want right when she woke up all upset (and weed all over me). DH was insistent she was fine and just playing up to sleep in my bed. I trusted my instinct and said she was sick and needed me. Ten minutes later vom-fest began.

It was fine though. I was calm, kept her calm. Sorted with it DH and my mum. Soothed DD. Dealt with round two on my own on the night. My big worry though was ... What if? The night before I'd have been v drunk and wouldn't have been so calm and on the ball. The thought of how different it could have been saddens me. Which makes me wonder if I've been lacking in the past when she has needed me at night.

Much pondering here today. Strength to you all.

still reading all your posts and can't think what to say of any use, I am new to all this, still no drink last night but feel so hungover, really bad head. Will keep going. I just know that at some point I will have a little bit and then its the slippery slope of counting down the hours every single day til 6pm when in my head it's ok to down 2 glasses in very quick succession and then all is right with the world til the next morning by which time a lot more has been drunk than those initial 2 glasses, and a lot of regret follows, and then the same thing all over again - counting down til 6pm etc etc. That's been my life for about the last 5 years (plus happiness to find myself in social sitatuations where it's ok to drink in the day, e.g., sunday lunch with family, weddings, birthdays and so on). sorry a bit rambly.

But I must say I am humbled by all of you and thinking of all of you and wish you all well in your aims, goals and dreams.

Nigella you are no different to many of us. We understand. I used to drink almost a bottle a day for years, about ten years I reckon. I wanted to be able to stop after two glasses. I hated hangovers and promised myself each morning that I wouldn't drink that day. But I didn't know how. So I was stuck in the same cycle as you were.

I can totally relate to enjoying social activities where drink is available but guess what? I made drink available whenever I could. School disco (frequent trips to the bar), country walk (to the pub), cinema (drinks before and after the film). Whatever the occasion, for me, a drink made it 'social'.

It wasn't until I found this bus and all the advice and support here that I was able to work out how to stop. I still don't know why I drank like that but I don't really need to know. Now I am able to drink occasionally but I have had to learn a lot about my drinking to get there.

The best thing for you do probably, is carry on as you are. See it through and don't even think about drinking for now. Take it one day at a time and worry about tomorrow, tomorrow. Have you read the first few pages of JWN's original post? I really think that would help you along because she went through the same things you're facing now and is an amazing inspiration.

Pouring with rain here so we are all going to do some cleaning, then watch a movie and ds has made a crumble for later just for him and dd because Hose and I are on a diet.

Hello darlings

I tied one on yesterday so am feeling a bit rough today.

Nigella well done for not drinking last night, I can totally relate to feeling hungover the day after not drinking - it seems terribly unfair. It might help when you wobble to keep things in the present - I am not going to drink today / in the next hour / in the next ten minutes. It's worked for me in the past.

I am not going to drink today. I am going to have a think about what I want to be (inspired by thread in AIBU) and how I can get there.

INigella* faire is right and I can totally relate to what yu both are saying,I found I was planning my life around when I could slot a drink in and then got in a state of panic when I realised I had to go somewhere that wine would not be available and started to count down the hours till I returned home to pour myself a glass,quite frequently at 10pm,ridiculous but true.

msgee that's been on my mind recently too,what if I was too drunk to do something important if something happened to one of the dc.Hope your dd is feeling better soon,the sickness bug has done it's rounds in this house recently,not nice.

Anyway I just hopped on for a ride as I feel very wobbly inside and sunny I am going to try your thought of "I am not going to drink for the next 10 mins"ect.I have no heat,no hot water and am very up and down today so may take several rides on the bus today to stay on track.

Right,this is my stop,am going to try and wash up with kettles of water now.Enjoy the day babes.

Quiet, good idea to keep popping back to let us know you got through the next ten minutes. I will be around, on and off this afternoon, so will try to check back with you.

What else could you do today? Could you take the dcs swimming or meet up with friends at the park? Do you have a lovely friend who would have you over for a cuppa for an hour or so (not if they are likely to offer alcohol though). If you are near shops could you go for a wander and a bit of window shopping? If the weather is ok, what about a walk up a hill to admire the view? Just do whatever it takes, my lovely, and you'll be fine x

Msgee, hi I'm ok

faire thanks so much,unfortunately I live in the sticks,the only place to go here is either of the 2 pubs or the bar at the football club.I hve only lived here just over a year so I still don't consider anyone a close friend and the ones here are all very family oriented at the weekends,none of this firnds doing stuff together :( Still I have not had a drink but the hoover has now packed up too,am doing housework as I can't drink whilst doing that,dh is in charge of dinner tonight so I won't be tempted in the kitchen.Right am off to do another 10.

Trinity how you doing,you've been very quiet the last couple of days

Well done Quiet, so far so good, I hope? Do you find that the craving passes after a while? It's so difficult when there's little else to do, I know. Especially when you need to keep the dcs entertained. All I can say is it does get easier .

What MsGee said struck a distant chord with me Nigella. Food for thought if you are struggling. I say that I often wonder whether dc remember the perfume of Pinot rather than Hermes when I tucked them in.

Quiet I live in the sticks as well, shame we are not in the same sticks. I will give you an example of what would have sent me into kamikaze mode back in the dark days. Yesterday a bloody halfwit ran up the lane with her untrained, off the lead daft dog, which ran across our land into the garden and attacked the chickens. Fortunately none were killed, but I know you have chooks and the fear that possesses them. I ripped into the stupid bat, who came up with comments like 'well we are going to train her' duh, bit late for that. Anyway that would have had me launching into a bottle, then ringing everyone I know in a drunken ramble, probably ending with me ringing the woman at about midnight to spoil her weekend. How idiotic would I have seemed?

Trinity hope you enjoyed the ruggers.

Sarah you have shattered all my illusions. I had an image of you and your 'girls', a bit Jean Brodie-like, hustling them all along in a brisk no-nonsense manner, keeping them on the straight and narrow.

Now all I have in my mind is a picture of you in your wellies, wearing a weather stained hat and gardening gloves covered in chicken shit, ranting in a most undignified manner .

Now which one is it ?

hi all
managed a very slow 16 minute jog today with sis, who is up from London for a week. Feel very proud. Just wish I could transfer that effort and will power into not drinking. Why can't I?
Why can I push myself to get changed, go out in the cold. and puff and pant and struggle to try and jog a bit, yet I can't push myself not to pick up that first glass?

sarah this would be the reason my mad sprollie stays firmly on the lead,everywhere,in the fields she goes after the pheasants,natural to her but the farmer who runs shoots would not be impressed if she bought one home,dh would :o I did have hopes to train her as a gun dog so FIL could take her out on shoots with him but she is far too unruly,she pinned another dog to the ground a few weeks ago who was harrasing her
Also sarah this has been on my mind,what would the children remember,I have definate memories of smells from my childhood,will mine remember (not pinot) sauvignon or merlot.
If I told you something about where I live it would be instantly obvious :o

faire this is the image you should have about all us country folks,I wear wellygogs all the time,I do have a weather beaten hat and I am very bossy,god help those who don't do it my way

ma yah well done you,would you like to join me with a marathon

Hello Brave Babes

My lovely cat had a fit earlier :( and for about a few seconds I thought of drinking. But I didn't so that's something. :)

Quiet glad you're here, how are you?

ma massive hugs. I'm well impressed with the running, I haven't run for more than a bus in years.

Faire and Trinity hope you're both okay today. Well done Sarah for not drinking after the dog-owning idiot...

Darling Faire, that makes me giggle muchly!! I think most women are chameleons. I am half Irish, for the most part the British, no nonsense workalcholic Mrs Capable. But either in temper, or back in the day, booze fired harpie let's rip. If anything or anybody hurts mine it surfaces, and I scare myself sometimes . So, yes I become the complete antithesis of control in these circumstances. Got the outfit just about right!! Big ds loves it, and I suppose he always loved my madness in a way, but prefers the sober variety. He never forgot when he was quite small, one of my closest friends who drank even more than me, on a particularly important shoot here, loosing his temper with a hot air balloonist who dared to fly over on one of the drives. Fired up with lunchtime libations, he shot it. Luckily the balloonist wasn't injured, and it was a very dangerous thing to do, even though he was a good shot when pissed. It made ds laugh for days.

Quiet you are a responsible person, unlike this immature foolish woman. The gun will be loaded if it happens again, probably for her not the dog

Ma very well done. I feel tired thinking about it.

OneSunny oh dear, poor little cat. Good girl for holding strong.

Hope all is ok in the Mouse house...