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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

The Brave Babes Battle Bus - On Their Way To Giving Up The Booze For Lent (or just for today)

999 replies

Mouseface · 29/02/2012 14:23

Hello, I'm Mouse

Welcome to the Brave Babes Bus where you'll find a mix of drinker, non drinkers, those who has been sober for a long time, and those who are getting there One Day At A Time.

Come and say hi....... we won't bite Wink

And if you want to know how this all got started, HERE is a link to the previous threads. Smile

OP posts:
dementedma · 01/03/2012 21:48

found you all! I actually had a real feeling of panic when i couldn't find the new thread and thought I had lost you all!
bproud what a post! Let that long hidden voice sing!

Silver66 · 01/03/2012 22:13

checking in..............

times are hard

xxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Onesunnymorningin2012 · 02/03/2012 09:00

Morning Silver, hope you're ok x

Good to see you Ma

xx

Isindebetterplace · 02/03/2012 09:08

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

dementedma · 02/03/2012 10:08

silver hope you are ok...
onesunny high to you to
indie the weekend is indeed looming Grin

Week 3 of the so called diet:
Week 1 - lost 1.5lbs
Week 2 - regained 1.5lbs
Week 3 - no change.

What a pile of pants.Sad

jesuswhatnext · 02/03/2012 10:55

ma - know just how you feel! i have been trying my buggery damndest and still feel like mrs bleedin blobby! i have seen a personal trainer this morning, start with him next week, not too expensive, its 15 quid a session so im going for a few to get me on the right track - i have been to the gym everyday for the last 2 weeks but i dont think im doing the right excersise for what i want to achieve iyswim?

SillyStrokeSensibleMum · 02/03/2012 13:09

Afternoon all Smile

I'm certainly looming towards the weekend Isinde Grin. How have you got on with all the travelling? Well I hope.

Ma, diets are pants, full stop. My body seems to process food differently. I have lost weight when I really shouldn't have, and have been unable to lose any when I've been eating nothing but lettuce (slight exaggeration but you know what I mean). Do you have a plan? Do you have to do this work weigh-in? Blush

Hope everyone's OK. Come back and talk to us Silver.

Mouseface · 02/03/2012 13:36

Afternoon, tis me, Mouse

DH is still very poorly, managing to eat soft and squishy foods but his throat is FULL if abscesses, it's very grim in there Sad

Nemo had a better night and we're just off to the toy sale at pre-school. I've bagged a work bench and a new Postman Pat van for him for the costly sum of £2.50! Shock

I have no idea how they think are going to make any money selling books for 50p, brand new, shiny books. And the clothes are amazing! £1 for a nice top. Children's stuff of course.

I only had one glass of wine after the cider and went to bed with ice cold milk and cookies! Yum!

Silver - please if you can chance, can you update on your mum? I'm worried about you sweets. That last post was so sad Sad xx

Be back later to catch up properly.

Bye for now xxxxx

OP posts:
Fairenuff · 02/03/2012 17:34

Right, I am going to share my diet tips because I am an expert after 8 weeks solid dieting Grin.

First, do not expect quick results. Get your goal, your motivation (mine is a family gathering in May). Next set some short term easily achievable goals (mine is to lose 2lb). Then make a chart tracking your weight loss aims (mine is 1lb every three days but that's quite drastic and I don't always achieve it).

Take a starting weight first thing in the morning before you eat or drink. Make that your weigh in day. Same scales, time, place and clothing. Track your actual weight on your chart each week. Some weeks you will lose, some gain and some stay the same but you will see an overall downward trend on your chart and this will help keep your motivation up.

Alternatively ditch the scales record your measurements instead.

Make this a marathon rather than a sprint. Stick with it even if you don't lose weight it will come off the next week. Staying motivated is much harder than the actual dieting, so come over to the healthy weight loss thread I'm on, they're all lovely (and lots of them trying not to drink!) Smile.

Isinde I'm rooting for you. Good plan to pick up the dts later x

So glad it's Friday, what a week, I'm shattered but feeling great. Gettings lots done these days. I think I'm tired because I'm much more active during the day so it's a good sort of tired.

Silver66 · 02/03/2012 17:46

Hey Babes

Mum is okish but there will be no more treatment for the cancer - some days it seems as though she is near the end and then she will rally round and seem much better - so basically I am on a nightmare of a rollercoaster and I can't get off Sad

At least she is not in pain and she loves all the nurses who are caring for her.

It is very very hard - but i'll bet you have all been close to this type of situation with someone suffering from cancer.

I just have to get on with it.

I'm OK though, apart from rift with sister, not that it bothers me that much but for Mum's sake i wish we could get on - however I cannot forgive the way she has behaved.

Putting one foot infront of the other atm

Thank you all for caring so much Smile xxxxx

MsGee · 02/03/2012 19:09

silver ((( ))) I am so sorry, this sounds so difficult. Just take one day, one footstep at a time and be kind to yourself.

I am in a bad mood. So I will be drinking. It sounds so pathetic in light of silver's post but I've had a bad day -nothing major, close friend had a baby (delighted for her, just pathetic self pitying for me), DD v clingy and had cross words with DH (which is rare so upsets me).

Poor me, poor me .... I know. Will try to get a grip.

MsGee · 02/03/2012 19:15

Oh and second wise Faire's tips. I've only lost half a stone so no expert but I weigh in once a week at the same time (no clothes just in case!).

I eat a lot less than I used to. A lot. Snacking is mainly fruit or weight watchers biscuits occasionally. I weigh everything and use weight watchers online as a phone app. If anyone is interested I have found a free app which does the same as ww (with extra things sch as scanning in items and working out points). Every fortnight I have a weekend off. On average I aim to lose 1-2 lbs per week and had a target weight for my hols.

Bproud · 02/03/2012 19:18

msgee you will be even more 'poor me' if you have a hangover tomorrow. Buck the trend and have a good end to the day, with a cup of tea or non alcoholic beer.

Bproud · 02/03/2012 19:21

Sorry, I realised that sounded a bit harsh, I know it is hard for you when other people have their new babies to show off, have a HUG from me.

sarahRT · 02/03/2012 20:02

Hello Everyone, been a bit full on in the world of my more than fuzzy wine drinkers this week!

Mouse, I have, for the first time, very ashamed to say, looked at your profile and now have a small idea of what you are going through. Should have done this a while ago, just too bloody idle. I knew you were remarkable, I have now decided you are just in that group of special people who humble me. Hope poor old dh rallies soon, can imagine his mood as well as being poorly.

Quiet, wow and double wow. My life has been a bowl of cherries in comparison! Hitting rock bottom, there is no formula, no matter what physcobabble is spouted about it. This abstinence lark has to come from your soul, it is an intangible point that you reach. Just like the reasons that make you drink too much, there are medical explanations for the effect, but not really the cause. That is what makes working with addicts so frustrating and soul destroying sometimes. I am not particularly religious, but I do believe that this about a spiritual thing rather than a physical one. With some of the most helpless cases, one lady for example this week is on her twentieth detox, she is 42 and quite beautiful, but the emptiest eyes I have ever seen, and I so wish I could bottle what was inside me and pour it down her throat, rather than the vodka. It's about the essence of you, and the courage that all of us have somewhere inside of us. My rock bottom came when I tried to drink after a long lay off, half a bottle of gin, four bottles of a really nice Fitou, a small bite of dinner, and cognac, when I was only going to have a small gin and tonic, then water. I thought I was going to die, I very nearly did. DH found me in a heap in our back hall, I had smashed my head open on a stone flagged floor, been sick, had two broken ribs and was still holding a glass of brandy, which had survived the event, always protected my source! It took me a week to be able to eat, I weighed 7 stone, and shook for three days. That was 12 years ago, and I can remember the pain as if it was yesterday. I have survived breast cancer, whether that was a consequence of heavy drinking I don't know, but it can't have helped.

NP, so glad you are a happy girl, bet you are going have a great spring time weekend, be careful you don't have too big a clear out spree. Happens alot with a fresh start, then you think damn it I liked those shoes, sweater etc.

My story, goodness. I will pm you with some of my 'stuff' tomorrow, but it was a true love affair for me. I loved drink, wine particularly, it was just like a handsome but dangerous lover, and I was his mistress for 30 years. Love is blind was never so true with me, and I went through every deception, longing, depravity, agony, thrill, desire and passion that true love leads us into. To the determent of me and everyone that loved me. But I would not be swayed ever, I hurt so many good people. I was friends with everyone who drank, and rude to everyone who didn't. But enough of me here, I am well, and if I can help anyone, anytime I will because I really do know how hard this journey is.

Be safe everyone, going to have a cup of tea.Smile

dementedma · 02/03/2012 21:44

sarahRT - wow! Another truly inspirational woman on this thread.
Two glasses tonight and off to bed. should have been no glasses though

HorsesDogsNails · 02/03/2012 21:52

Wow Sarah, just wow. What a story, you have my total admiration both for your journey and the role you now have...... Thank you for sharing.

QuietOhSoQuiet · 02/03/2012 22:01

sarah a perfect answer to the conundrum I posed,you have my every respect and the feeling you have at working with addicts is what I want to be able to do with young cannabis users,I have seen the devestation it causes.It is a pleasure to be able to say I have connected with you on here :o

Bohica · 02/03/2012 22:07

Evening.

Just maring my place on the new thread.

Bad week here Sad

Onesunnymorningin2012 · 03/03/2012 01:31

Hello all

Bohica sorry you've had a bad week.

I'm back here in the small hours. I only drank 2 glasses of wine tonight, which is good. But I caught my (drunk) husband glugging from the bottle, which is not good. I love him but... And by the time he'd come to bed he passed out. He doesn't know I'm awake. I told him a couple of weeks ago I was thinking of leaving him, but it doesn't stop the drinking. I've heard all about the doctor's visit he was going to have, the counselling... and I don't believe a word of it. He's receding before my eyes. I dumped him when we started going out because of his drinking, and he pulled out of the spiral. He seems to be lying more about his drinking now though.

I've had some great news this week - I have another offer from a university, this one is unconditional. So I'm going to university whatever happens. I might just be doing it living on my own. :(

I'm gutted. I love him. But I need to look after myself more.

Love to all x

Fairenuff · 03/03/2012 08:35

Morning Smile

Onesunny I think a lot of us can identify with your dh but until he is ready to help himself, there is nothing anyone can do for him. You, on the other hand, are doing brilliantly, so pleased to hear of your university offer, how exciting for you. It's a new chapter in your life, who knows where these changes will take you. If you have to do it on your own, so be it. I have a feeling things are going to work out right for you, one way or another x

Bohica is it your mum, or are you struggling yourself this week?

Mouse hope dh is starting to feel a little better soon. What a horrid illness. Such a shame to miss a party you'd all been looking forward to x

Onesunnymorningin2012 · 03/03/2012 11:15

Morning all

Thanks Faire feeling a lot less grim this morning. Have spoken with DH, and I have a date in my head for a decision.

Am off to a friend's baby shower in a bit, see you all later. x

dementedma · 03/03/2012 11:59

onesunny I love this poem, I have posted it on here before but it resonates with me and maybe with you too:
The Journey

One day you finally knew
what you had to do, and began,
though the voices around you
kept shouting
their bad advice --
though the whole house
began to tremble
and you felt the old tug
at your ankles.
"Mend my life!"
each voice cried.
But you didn't stop.
You knew what you had to do,
though the wind pried
with its stiff fingers
at the very foundations,
though their melancholy
was terrible.
It was already late
enough, and a wild night,
and the road full of fallen
branches and stones.
But little by little,
as you left their voices behind,
the stars began to burn
through the sheets of clouds,
and there was a new voice
which you slowly
recognized as your own,
that kept you company
as you strode deeper and deeper
into the world,
determined to do
the only thing you could do --
determined to save
the only life you could save.

~ Mary Oliver ~

RainQueen · 03/03/2012 13:49

Not a good weekend so far Sad

I think I may be reaching the bottom that some of you have talked about, which would be good in a way because there is only one way to go from there.

I will post again when I have decided how to go from here and I am feeling a bit stronger Smile

SillyStrokeSensibleMum · 03/03/2012 14:02

What a powerful poem, Ma. Gosh that's really moving. I think that's another one I'll be printing out! Smile

OneSunny...congratulations on the university place. Well done you Smile. It must be so hard with DH. It sounds like you have decided what you have to do. I'm thinking of you.

Bohica, hope you're OK. Hope your mum's not causing you too much stress...

Rain, come back and talk when you're ready. 'Rock bottom' sounds pretty scary. Whatever has happened maybe this is your final Day 1, with you starting to put your drinking days well and truly behind you Smile

Mouse, I hope DH is a bit better. Poor thing, his throat sounds awful.

BProud how are you doing?

Hope everyone else is doing OK. I drank last night but not too much so feeling OK. It's a blooming beautiful day here today. We're all pottering about outside and looking forward to the summer ahead of us. It's far easier to see the good things in life when you're not consumed by a hangover, or stressing about when to have another drink. Long may it continue Smile