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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

I know what I *should* do but in shock :(

536 replies

Sarsaparilllla · 27/02/2012 09:50

So, I'm engaged, we're due to get married in August, on Sat we had a day out with my brother and his wife, and then they stayed at ours, we all had quite a lot to drink, I went to bed quite late as did my brother and my fiance and sis in law stayed up watching a film

I just had a weird feeling something was up, not right, earlier in the evening my fiance had gone upstairs to the loo, she'd been up there too saying she was getting something out of the room they were staying in, but all their bags were still downstairs, I thought at the time it was slightly odd but forgot about it

Last night I woke up at 5.30am and my fiance wasn't in bed anymore, he'd gone to sleep downstairs on the sofa, I don't know why but his phone was by the bed and I read his texts, there was a whole conversation between him & sis in law that started out her staying 'I miss you' and basically saying 'oh god, this is a mess, it was better when we pretended we hated each other, I'm married, when can we meet up' etc etc... so something did happen, and I'm in utter shock, I don't know what to do, I know what I should do, but I feel numb :(

He then woke up (I went into the bathroom so must've woke him), he came to bed, I said to him, do you have something you want to tell me? He said no, why what's up, I couldn't speak, I didn't know what to say, I turned off the light and tried to sleep, and pretend this isn't happening, but it is and now he's lied to my face as well

Help :( :(

OP posts:
FlatCapAndAWhippet · 28/02/2012 02:05

me too.

WMDinthekitchen · 28/02/2012 02:15

Hello Sars. Have just come across this thread and cannot imagine the sense of betrayal you must feel. Whatever is happening, hope you are getting through it somehow. Horrible, horrible for your brother, too but at least you will have each other for support. People will understand about cancelling the wedding - better that you have found out now than in a year or further ahead when you perhaps have children. Can you get him to explain to everyone why the wedding is not going ahead? I bet you can't!! Good luck. Hand holding.

TantePiste · 28/02/2012 02:19

my heart goes out to you and your brother sars. remember, when you are goingg through hell, keep going.

pluckingupcourage · 28/02/2012 02:40

I remember your wedding dress thread in S&B I think - so very sorry for what you're going through, but full of admiration that you're keeping strong!

HillyWallaby · 28/02/2012 02:55

marking place.

Pornyissue · 28/02/2012 03:01

Oh OP, bless your heart what a horrid, horrid thing to happen to you and your brother.

I feel so sad for both of you. So, so sorry x

CinnabarRed · 28/02/2012 03:17

Here for you if you need to post tonight.

vampiresdontsparkle · 28/02/2012 06:19

hope your okay this morning. (you know what i mean!)

thinking about you.

ChewingGum · 28/02/2012 06:39

bloody hell - what a nightmare situation. you poor thing.

JaxTellerIsMyFriend · 28/02/2012 06:54

SARS woke up early this morning and found myself thinking of you.

I hope last night you got some answers. Just wanted to send a unMN hug.

LizaTarbucksAuntie · 28/02/2012 07:21

What a grim situation love, I hope you're ok this morning x

Just echoing what people have said about a lucky escape even if it doesn't feel like it right now.

StealthPolarBear · 28/02/2012 07:24

How are you doing this morning?

WhereMyMilk · 28/02/2012 07:31

Thinking of you,x

AgathaFusty · 28/02/2012 07:38

Hope you're doing ok this morning - I can't imagine you had a good night, or much sleep.

TheCrunchUnderfoot · 28/02/2012 07:48

Hope things went as well as they could do Sars

bleedingheart · 28/02/2012 08:21

I really hope he treated you with some respect and honesty last night. I feel so sad and angry for you OP.

Jackstini · 28/02/2012 08:26

Was following your thread yesterday and thinking about you last night.
Can't imagine how awful it must be.
Let us know what happened and if you need any more advice - there has been some great help from posters on here.
Stay strong Sars

HomemadeCakes · 28/02/2012 08:36

Followed your thread yesterday and thinking of you today. I really hope that confronting him has made things a little clearer in your head, although no less painful.

Stay strong hun.

jshm2 · 28/02/2012 08:50

Could be nothing and your lack of information and heightened insecurity is making you add parts that are not true.

Best bet is to speak to all individually and subtly regarding their times together. Rumour and suspicion whether true or untrue can really eat away at a person. But you can't jump out and accuse everybody and anybody with no credible evidence - like a two-bit Daily Mail journalist.

inbetweener · 28/02/2012 08:52

What ? Really ?

pinkyredrose · 28/02/2012 08:55

Jshm2 what the hell are you on about?

QuintessentialyHollow · 28/02/2012 09:02

jshm2 are you the sister in law? Grin

TheSinglePringle · 28/02/2012 09:04

Quint Grin

rubyrubyruby · 28/02/2012 09:05

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

TinyPants · 28/02/2012 09:09

OP has seen with her own eyes evidence of an inappropriate relationship between her fiancé and SIL.

I think she's a little more than suspicious at this point..

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