Shall I contact or text?

[iofficiallygiveup]

I have been seeing someone for a couple of months, we had a chat about whether we were going to be exclusive and both said we would think about it, there is a few complications, I have dc, he doesnt and obviously I can't always be available for nights out etc.

Anyway last night was one such night, he went out and I had a little look at his FB (I know, I know . On there around 10.00 pm he made friends with a woman and she immediately left a VERY flirty message. I did not hear from him all evening and have not heard from him today, this is very unsual for us as we are constantly texting and chatting.

So I think I have been dumped haven't I? My mate says ring him but I really don't want to to be honest, it seems he is just one of those that moves on without a word and I feel it is keeping my dignity to just retire in silence and dignity. So what do you all think?

So, my point was that he is not treating you well so try to move on. Delete him from FB today. No reason not to. You can simply "unfriend" and walk away.

Just ignore him and move on. He sounds a bit childish and spineless more than anything: the sort of person who doesn't much like confrontation and therefore just retreats rather than actually stepping up and saying 'You're a lovely person but I don't actually want to commit to you.'

And in a way he has done you a favour: it's lazy and selfish to trundle along in a relationship when you know very well that the other person is just a 'will do for now' partner and that you do not see yourself making a commitment though the other person appears keen to do so.

I just wish he had told me himself rather than letting a post on FB from some random (to me) person do it for him. Of course he is in his rights to end it any time he chooses, hence I won't text him or question him about it, I am gone, it's just really hurtful and embarrassing how he did it.

Oh well onwards and upwards. I will leave him on FB for a couple of weeks then quietly delete him.

Absolutely do NOT write anything on his Facebook wall you will look like an idiot.

Agree with everything belle says. Don't embarrass yourself by acting like a fool: he won't care and nor will any new girlfriend. You however will regret your foolishness (voice of bitter experience) for far longer than you'll miss him.

Oh I know, also speaking from the voice of bitter experience . There is nothing that could make me attempt to contact him or "tell him off" just helps to rant a bit on here!

I do know the feeling. Has happened to me many a time, but actually acting on it ie telling him off, makes you look (and subsequently feel) like an inadequate bunny-boiling whanger. Far better to act as though you really didn't give much of a toss in the first place.

I love the word whanger

OP - horrible thing to have happened. People can be such wankers.

I hate being made to look a fool, more than anything.

Sympathy officially, it's rubbish. For a quicker recovery I suggest either blocking him or firmly resolving to stay off the evil facebook (not that I am biased ) until it's less raw.

yes Whanger is a great word and this bloke will for ever after be known as such.

Yes I am not going to block him just stay off for a bit till I am not bothered. Quite frankly if some bloke blocked me because I had dumped him after a couple of months I'd think he was a bit of a tool and feel fully justified in dumping him.

No, HE has embarrassed himself totally by not treating you with courtesy and respect even if he really did want to end the relationship.

If he calls you in future, please be icy and just say you're not interested anymore.

People like that don't change and I can guarantee he thinks he can pick up where he left off in a few weeks.

I'd be tempted to update my status:

My prayers are answered! So relieved. A difficult conversation averted. Phew!!!!!

Yes, I completely agree with Winky. He'll be back in touch, I'm sure. And you'll be giving him the cold shoulder I hope. Stupid prick.

Hahahaaa ohdear - perfect!

Revenge IS a dish, best served freezing cold. This twunt WILL wonder why you haven't been in touch or responded, as he thinks he is God's gift and entitled to collect his jar of hearts!! :) Give him a taste of his own poisonous medicine. I think he has dumped you or just doesn't know what he wants. He is NOT good enough for you or your innocent children.

I gave up on internet men three years ago. Too much hurt. I still can't face more disappointment.

Please delete him, do not contact, ignore, ignore, ignore, as you have been doing.

Good luck :)

oh he'll get the cold shoulder alright, I'm much more than now. Big baby that he is!

If this twunt sends you a Happy Birthday text, delete it without a response from you. He doesn't deserve it. Block his details, everywhere you can. Ha!

Thing is he is not even an Internet bloke, we were introduced by a mutual friend I have known for years. You would have thought that might have afforded some protection from such crappy behaviour but seemingly not.

I'd definitely delete him from fb- don't give him the opportunity to delete you - because that's what will be coming next

Well done on keeping your pride

Oh

Dickhead either way!

Glad i've had a good long break from dating! Think i'll stay single, maybe....:)

Oh yes! He will delete you first! (never been a FB member). Delete him FIRST Ha!

I have to say I don't think this bloke's behaviour is that awful, really. A couple of months is around the length of time that you might start thinking whether or not you want to intensify the relationship, and he's clearly not so keen as the OP to whom he has made no promises anyway. They were at the stage of thinking about whether to be exclusive or not.

So he went out somewhere and by the sound of it either met the man/woman of his dreams or just thought to himself 'OP is a nice girl but I don't actually want to commit'. He may have thought that just fading away was a kinder option than getting in touch to go 'Oh, by the way, I don't want an exclusive relationship even though you're nice' because maybe the last time he did that he got crockery thrown at his head and accusations of 'just using me for sex...'

It's horrid to be on the receieving end of this but it's rarely done out of malice, just patheticness.

Actually SGB he made it quite clear he didn't want me to shag other people first. I did not bring it up, he did. I did put that in one of my other posts I think. I would never have said it first.

However you are quite right he is free to move on as sees fit but I do think it's rather unkind to allow the comment on FB do the dumping.

I would eat my own feet than try to get in touch with him but believe me it's taken a while to get here, I have dine rather more than my share of chasing disinterested young men around over the years .