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Original poster

To have texted DPs friend pretending to be him?

907 replies

JamRagRolyPoly · 11/02/2012 13:48

DP got in at 5am last night, saw a text on his phone (he was there when I was looking for texts from me) from his friend saying 'strip club round the cormer' Hmm.

I outright asked him, did you go? He said no. He knows I'm very much against them. Now I'm wondering if he can lie to my face.

While he's in the shower I texted his friend pretending to be DP saying 'great night last night, how was the strip club' so his friend could potentially text back saying er you were there mate remember?

Aibu to want to know if my DP is capable of lying to my face? This troubles me more than the strip club, because then it's like, what else?

(I know tis sounds very childish btw)

OP posts:
rubyrubyruby · 11/02/2012 22:24

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
JamRagRolyPoly · 11/02/2012 22:25

I would have said, I really would prefer if you don't go as it offends me and is disrespectful to our relationship, and hoped he would've agreed with me.

Doesn't matter now, he would never do that I guess. I didn't even factor into his night last night

OP posts:
Original poster
JamRagRolyPoly · 11/02/2012 22:26

The support has helped, thank you all for the support when I feel so shit.

Not ready to talk to him tonight, maybe tomorrow

OP posts:
hoops997 · 11/02/2012 22:27

In that case he really doesn't respect you and you should run for the hills, the trust has all gone and you need that for a stable relationship, hope you manage to sort everything out in your head

nkf · 11/02/2012 22:28

Poor OP. This thread has turned into a debate about the morality/inevitability of strip clubs. If you don't like them fine. Some women think they're okay/cool/just one of those things. You can dislike them and not want a man who goes to them. That's allowed. Totally. So ignore that side of it and find some support for you in your unhappy, complicated feelings. Both in real life and, if you can, on MN.

It might help if you posted again and left the bit out about texting the friend. Personally, I think that was a non event if slightly pointless but it seems to have coloured the response you got.

Good luck.

ilovesooty · 11/02/2012 22:33

It might help if you posted again and left the bit out about texting the friend. Personally, I think that was a non event if slightly pointless but it seems to have coloured the response you got

I think that was anything but a non event, and it certainly coloured my view of the OP I'm afraid.

ilovesooty · 11/02/2012 22:35

Although she has said she regrets doing that. I was just rather Hmm at the posters who saw nothing wrong in it.

AnyFucker · 11/02/2012 22:37

I don't have a "view" of the OP, other than sympathy in her situation

she didn't cause this

he did

I certainly have a "view" about him, however

ilovesoooty, you are coming across as cold and judgemental...did you mean to do that ?

ChippingInLovesEasterEggs · 11/02/2012 22:40

You said earlier that you 'are stuck' - in what way do you feel stuck?

nkf · 11/02/2012 22:42

That's why I think she should leave that bit out. Lots of people on MN think snooping is unforgiveable and so she gets a lot of telling off.

My only view of the OP is that she seems unhappy about what has happened.

Original poster
JamRagRolyPoly · 11/02/2012 22:42

So I presume you have never done anything you regret snooty? Nothing really stupid in the heat of the moment? Well, well done, dear.

I even said to my sister how wrong it was but she said dot be silly, you were hurt and worried.

I don't think any posters have justified my actions, they just said they can see why I did it. Most attacked me for it

OP posts:
ilovesooty · 11/02/2012 22:44

AF, I think some of the other posters have been judgemental re the stepping foot in a strip club issue but I respect their right to their stance.

For me, playing fast and loose with a mobile phone which belongs to someone else is a big thing, as is going through someone else's phone or reading their emails. I'd expect others to respect my right to that opinion even if they disagree.

I've said I think their is fault on both sides here. I don't consider that particularly judgemental.

nkf · 11/02/2012 22:44

Jam, did it help you to find out? Or did the truth come out some other way?

AnyFucker · 11/02/2012 22:45

ilovesooty, you have reserved your coldness for the op though

which seems strange bearing in mind she is the one looking for support here, and not her lying partner

Original poster
JamRagRolyPoly · 11/02/2012 22:45

Read the thread from the start sooty, you're wrong. I received a grilling for the phone thing

OP posts:
nkf · 11/02/2012 22:46

I snooped when I thought my husband was cheating. I snooped big time. I was a champion snooper. And that's how I found out. I don't regret it in the slightest. If I hadn't, he'd still be spinning me a load of crap and telling me I was paranoid.

ilovesooty · 11/02/2012 22:46

So I presume you have never done anything you regret snooty? Nothing really stupid in the heat of the moment? Well, well done, dear

Perhaps you could point me to where I said or implied that, because i'm struggling to see it... Hmm

I hope things are sorted out for you, but I stand by my opinion that the relationship doesn't sound that great all round.

AnyFucker · 11/02/2012 22:48

dead right, nkf

if op hadn't snooped, she would still be under the impression he might have lied

now she is sure

result as far as I am concerned, and I would do it myself if I thought some bloke was making a fool of me

ilovesooty · 11/02/2012 22:49

I have read it from the start.

AF, tbh I think the OP's partner is, by the sound of it, an immature liar. I think she has trust issues. I said there is fault on both sides imo. I don't see how that's "reserving my coldness for the OP"

hoops997 · 11/02/2012 22:49

I think most people have snooped in one way or another, that's not the issue here, it's the lying and the deceitfulness of the OP's DP. I snooped on my ex-h because my instincts told me something was wrong, I'm glad I did he was cheating and am now divorced, OP if you feel stuck now, then you will still feel stuck if you continue your relationship with this man

nkf · 11/02/2012 22:50

I don't think she has trust issues. I think her partner told her a lie and it didn't ring true so she checked it out.
Trust issues, my foot.

Original poster
JamRagRolyPoly · 11/02/2012 22:51

You were suggesting that what I did was far worse than what he did in your post at 22:44 that's how it seems you're reserving your coldness for me probably.

OP posts:
nkf · 11/02/2012 22:52

Jam, was the text how you found out? I think I've missed that bit of teh thread. Did it get you the result?

hoops997 · 11/02/2012 22:52

Nkf, you haven't read the thread, the op found a text on her dp's phone and asked him, he lied, she texted friend pretending to be him to confirm that lie

ilovesooty · 11/02/2012 22:53

She pretty well admitted she has trust issues earlier in the thread.

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