The honing of the twat radars - dating chat thread number 9

[lubeybooby]

Thread got too big so here's a new one :o

All dating, online or otherwise in here please

Chit chat to serious stuff - off we go!

He also said that I ought to be on IE if all I want is sex.
How many times do you have to tell a man something?
My profile says dating, nothing serious. I said on more than one occasion, "I don't want a relationship, I'm not going to be your girlfriend."
It's like their ears heal over while they're looking at your boobs.

well done dating on doing that.... it is hard though, isnt it. Ive also never found match to be any better than any of the free ones, and okc is crap in my area too.

snape - you are right, it was 4th date, he should have been in contact by now, its been what, 3 days.... which is crap of him, it really is.
Im sure he didnt think you were a moose at all, because you are not. So dont think that for even a second.

Sponge - well done for not texting :) PLease dont text him, delete his number if you have to. Just dont do it. He WILL contact you if he wants to see you again, no amount of promptintexts will change that. So fuck him and his barbour!

re the lack of contact issue, in my case fwb/casual arrangements for sex tend to go like this:
1-he's desperate to meet me and will be available at the drop of a hat, anytime, any place, any where.
2-we have sex
3-he's real busy and can only find time to see me every 1 - 2 months.
4-he contacts me now and again, presumably to let me know he's still interested and to check that I am.

they appear to loose interest after the 'thrill of the chase'

as you say DMthere are also the needy ones, they really scare me, I prefer elusive because I can control my feelings if need be, the thought of a needy man who cant get a grip is very alarming!

'He also said that I ought to be on IE if all I want is sex.'

he ought to shut the fu(k up and stop telling you what you ought to do!

"he ought to shut the fu(k up"

Quite.

toptramp Dousing rod? really? Sorry to be amused at your traumatic experience but that has almost made me spit my tea out

datingminefield Wow, I'm very impressed at your directness. I would probably have ended up marrying the needy berk out of a sense of guilt.

lovesineffable Yes that's precisely what happened with my last fwb too. It doesn't make you feel great about yourself I have to say. Although maybye just as well in my case as I really really liked him so there was a complete imbalance.

Well, I've friend requested one of the guys, but the one I really fancied only has a page for the band he is in that you can like Oh, he was lovely. I would probably get arrested if I went out with him though. He's at least 10 years my junior.

Oh, and I've had a nice sounding chap on OKC ask me out for a drink next week. Trouble is he's done this slightly arty 'blurry' thing with his pictures. He looks fairly attractive but it's hard to tell. I'm concerned he may actually be hideous, and be taking great pains to hide it.

Also, [snort] at "fuck him and his Barbour". There are some statements from this thread that should be on a range of tshirts.

The phrase "Fuck him and his Barbour" could probably apply to 70% of the men here in Camden.

Which is ironic considering we are in the middle of the City, with not a field in sight

milk stay away from blurry picture men
Do I need to say any more?

Why is a 10 year age gap a problem? Are you 20? You lucky thing!
No, really, so long as you're both over the age of consent, what's the problem?

DatingMinefield Yes, I have a bad feeling about blurry picture man. Any photo where face is obscured can NEVER be a good thing.

A few years ago I met up with a guy who had stunningly beautiful brown eyes, but had his chin lowered in all his photos. Face to face I could see why. He literally had NO chin whatsoever! gawd bless him.

I'm 33, he can't be a day over 23 (and that is being generous)

It will come to naught though. If I try, and chase him I probably won't get a response. Too much humiliation!

There's 3 RL men I've got my eye on. One being the manager of my favorite bar who I am simply dying of love for! I just don't even know how to get started

yes, stay away from blury pics. and ones where you cant see their teeth.

My fwb recent experience has been this.

One guy, weekly, no contact in between, bar the occassional text of ' boobs' when he was trying to get my attention and trying to be sexy i guess. I fell into the trap of fucking someone very inexperienced. This was not a good thing to happen. I remember much hugh grant like stumbling when i turned up at his with handcuffs. Poor boy. ( though he was the same age). I dumped him after he turned up with a bag packed with actual pjs!!!!!! He still occasionally texts me something lame in the hipe i might reconsider. NEVER going to happen.

Last FWB last summer, unfortunatley was entirely on his terms, no matter how hard i trued to change it around. The last text he send me was ' come now, or not at all' and i didnt go. The friend part was missing. I am not that desperate to be spoken to like that.

"Come now or not at all" How did you refuse such a generous offer watch? [shocked]

Poor boy with PJs. Maybe his mam packed them for him? bless.

I seriously wonder if the whole fwb thing can ever actually work. With mine I made the mistake of picking someone who a) Had a long term girlfriend, and was in an open relationship and b) Was someone whose feet I literally want to lie down and die beside as I like him that much (even though he's a cock)

I might join a nunnery. It must be so much easier!

so, no meetings without:
1-minimum of 2 clear face shots from different angles
2-at least one whole person shot showing posture & physique.
(I'm very put off by bad posture)

as for ' come now, or not at all' I think I'd want to come armed with a kalashnikov

'I seriously wonder if the whole fwb thing can ever actually work'

depends what criteria have to be fulfilled before you consider it to be working..
Seems like it's rarely a win-win situation, perhaps if you have more than one on the go and it's 'dont ask dont tell' as far as other partners are concerned?

It's mostly rather problematic

Nods sagely at 'pictures where you can't see his teeth'....

I think it's too easy for men to get the upper hand in the early stages while we are dazed by sex, from then on you're his b1tch and it's very hard to switch roles

lovesineffable There's a book called 'Why men marry bitches' which strongly recommends not acting all mind blown after sex, and just totally carrying on like you did before you got naked together. The reasoning being that men don't expect it, so it totally throws them

Not all of the advice is that good mind. It also says you shouldn't wear 'sexy' underwear, or carry condoms in case it makes the man think you are easy! [shocked]

You have just made me go into a panic, I have a date at the weekend lovely man looks very nice, chatted on the phone, plenty of pics but NO EFFING TEETH in shot when he smiles, arghhh this is not good! I have had a few messages off a very buff man, I have been attracting the ones with nice personalities and less of the fwoar factor, he makes me want to drive half way accross the country to pounce on him he is also very funny too, so unfair :-(

no teeth at all??
get mr buff to drive to you..
OK, will always act cool after sex

Well he is smiling with his mouth closed on all the pictures, I hope he does have teeth, he is a lawyer so you get toothless lawyers haha jees, this dating business is stressful. Mr Buff is very keen he is actually tempted to drive 3 hours to come and see me, cant be bad.

Phoenixx I don't think it necessarily means bad teeth. You can't see my teeth on my OKC profile, and they are perfectly fine in real life. Just be prepared for the worst, and then you can't be disappointed

3 hours is a long time for someone to drive. It would make me a bit anxious tbh. What if you didn't like them and you can't just bugger off because they've put in so much effort? I had that experience with chinless man mentioned above. He had driven to County Durham from Bristol. I ended up with him stuck in my parents spare room all weekend. Whilst I slept on their floor and wept for 2 days.

Ah the memories. How hideous they are!

I agree about the driving thing, I always turn down the long distance chancers..
you live too far away
but I've got a fast car
or
I'll come and stay for the weekend.

wtf, like I'd spend a whole weekend with a total stranger, I'd rather chew my own leg off..going on past experience even half an hour with most of these bozo's is pushing it

Most of my pics I had my mouth closed and I thought what if people think I have awful teeth so purposely added a toothy grin picture.

Three hours is waaay to long to drive, I wont encourage him, I like first dates to be short and sweet so it is easy to escape if there is no chemistry, I am a bit weird sometimes I fancy the pants of blokes who would not be regarded as physically attractive and the hot ones do nothing for me, you just cant tell you you meet them in the flesh.

Yes, I think you are spot on. The weekend with Bristol guy was possibly the worst I've ever spent.

Even worse he had a really badly trained Jack Russell, and he brought it with him! We had no idea about it before he turned up. My parents breed dogs, and they were going mental all weekend. Argh, I'm getting mildly furious just remembering.

So yeah, tell Mr 3 hours to drive off somewhere else. It's for the best

you are spot on Phoenix:)

he. brought. his. dog.

it's as if he saw himself as an old friend of the family, not some random bloke you met online