The honing of the twat radars - dating chat thread number 9

[lubeybooby]

Thread got too big so here's a new one :o

All dating, online or otherwise in here please

Chit chat to serious stuff - off we go!

loves said

re the lack of contact issue, in my case fwb/casual arrangements for sex tend to go like this:
1-he's desperate to meet me and will be available at the drop of a hat, anytime, any place, any where.
2-we have sex
3-he's real busy and can only find time to see me every 1 - 2 months.
4-he contacts me now and again, presumably to let me know he's still interested and to check that I am.

they appear to loose interest after the 'thrill of the chase'

This has happened to me 3 times in the last four years and now Im --wise--v.causious to it all. Got a first date lined up for Friday night. Hes 30 (Im 39) though so Ive got no expectations at all he wants long term

loves Yes, and not a nice dog (I love dogs so it takes a LOT for me to say that) It was the most badly trained Jack Russell ever! He couldn't do a thing with it. Plus he all his clothes were constantly covered in dog hair. He looked like a fuzzy, walking carpet

seasidegirly 30 is fine if you are 39 I reckon! There's no reason at all why a guy that age wouldn't be after something a bit more meaningful (if that's what you are looking for of course) Good luck, hope it goes well.

watch I LOVE "Fuck him and his Barbour" you have cheered me up, and stopped me sulking about the fact I still have no text.

I still haven't text him either though :)

He is short, and has small hands. I don't really know why I am that bothered.

I think at least in part it's because he reminds me of my first ever crush at uni . The crush (who I think also had a Barbour!) never was anything other than my 'friend', and ended up going out with a girl who looked incredibly like me. The main difference being that she wasn't from Essex, went to private school and her dad was a director of a v major high street bank....

Plus also I did think I had finally got past the curse of the first date and made it to the unchartered second date territory. That will teach me to get my hopes up!

Short & small hands hatesponge? Pah! Move on!

I have been out with 6'7" rugby bloke tonight. Nice. Nice snog at the bus stop too. I'm a bit tiddly, but lovely guy. I think this is going places.

how you doing sponge? i get you, i do. Its not so much about ' him' but more the general rejection, yet again. You know i have no luck with second dates either and get very very excited if i get one. I know you probably feel shitty, so just be gentle with youeself for a few fays.

snapes - anything?

Hi ladies,
I've been lurking for a while and not posting, sorry. Update on me, I ended my first internet dating 'relationship' as despite being fit & fun, he was v hot & cold (long term batchelor I guess).

I started seeing another guy, but he is just too busy to meet up much not bothered and I think I deserve more.

I have 3 new 'irons in the fire' and am trying to relax and play it cool. It does frustrate me that there appears to be so much game playing surrounding internet dating, but I'm having fun, getting out & reaffirming my place in the world as someone who other people find attractive and fun rather than what me ex would have me believe.
...formerly WrigglyTummy... :-)

a little treat for my home girls... Now to get it on a t-shirt or mug!

oh what do you think watch not a word. pfft. played by a playah.

Oh DatingM, tall rugby bloke sounds lovely!
Barbour pic is excellent Snape - made me chuckle. Sorry you didn't hear from your man though.
Did a run through of various dating sites last night & signed up to Zoosk. Seems a bit more fun than Match. Anyone else used it?

i love that pic. i do need that on a t shirt.. :)

Sorry about whats happened. It just goes to show that if a man really is just after sex, it makes no difference if you shag him within hours, or wait a few dates. Ultimatley, its not you, its just what he wants, and anything you may have said, done, what you look like etc.. have no bearing on that.
And honestly, noone of us will know if they are being truthful or not, despite being very good red flag spotters etc...

watch if he wanted sex, for it's own sake, for the sensual pleasure of it, he'd come back for more, instead of going all aloof after one shag.
It's not all that easy for men to get causal sex, he's got a better chance of getting sex with a woman who he already knows is interested in an fwb situation.

I suspect that these guys are driven more by the desire to make a conquest, it boosts their ego's and makes them feel they have more status as men, something like that?

Hmm this is awkward my date for Friday has just messaged my cousin on POF, of all the thousands of girls this is just a bit weird

loves - ive always thought that as well, but i dont anymore. Ive offered no strings lots of times, but only a few been taken up on the offer. A guy i had a one night thing with a few years ago recently got in contact ( i think i said on here) and we had a bit of a natter, i asked why he didnt come back for round two ( because i did ask for that, he was only in the area a short time, so it would have been 2 weeks, no strings) and he said that he was done, and going back makes a girl think its something more.

phonenix - yuk. dump.

watchoutforthatsnail I am going to go ahead with the date and not mention it, I dont think I can be too shirty about it after all we are all on dating sites and I havent stopped messaging other blokes just because I have a date planned, this is me with a rational head on for a change! It could come in handy though if we get as far as a second or third date to test his intentions

'he said that he was done, and going back makes a girl think its something more'

how freaking arrogant!
does he think he's so great that women are just desperate to latch onto him pretty much all the guys I've met for casual sex have bored me senseless and I couldnt wait to get them out of my place as soon as it was apparent the shagging was over.

These dumb boys think that if they have sex with us more than a certain number of times we will be clinging onto their stupid ankles when they try to leave

yep - but i dont think its just him.
The pjs boy said to me after a few weeks, that he thought i had feelings for him. I didnt, never did, never in a million years would do.
Its just men and egos isnt it, they believe they are so fantastic that anywoman is going to fall to her feet in front of them.

See - post date a woman worries if she looked ok, or said something stupid, or whatever, and will spend days getting stressed waiting for that call. A man ( i expect ) will go, wow, i had a date with this really cool, attractive woman, i must be a super stud and just like james bond. i shall go and pull more women.

Ok. Let me set myself up for my periodic offhand dismissal and/or shooting down in flames. Please allow that I've never met any of you and I've only seen pics of some of you and I'm not saying any of us are fantastic or good or mediocre or crap at sex because I don't know, or that we're totally gorgeous and utterly desirable or we have no personality and we've been bashed by the ugly stick, but the simple truth is, and I'm sure it's the same for women...

It's not necessarily about playing games or power trips or egos. Even in a totally no strings situation you hope the sex will be good. You want it to be good. You really want it to become an ongoing thing... but sometimes the sex is just not worth the effort and you come away from an encounter and wonder why the hell you bothered.

My NYE date was 100% NSA. Nice person and we both made all the right noises about it just being casual sex between acquaintances, but by the next morning I realised it reeked of two fat people desperate to be laid. :(

Fire away.

you brave man Poppa Rob:)
if the sex is not worth the effort surely both parties will be aware of that?
Or do men and women often have different criteria for worth the effort sex?

Once upon a time I could have honestly said I don't know, but with the benefit of 9,668 posts to these threads I do have a slightly better idea now.

ok poppa - and what about sink breaking sex situations? or 12 hour marathons? see?

lol..there you go drip feeding us
and..

exactly, how can it be that a man finds you so hot he is up for a 12 hour kitchen trashing session..and then suddenly looses interest?

you can easily tell if its been good sex or not, i can bloody well tell if its been good or crappy.

If its been excellent sex and then the same thing happens... see,makes no sense. im inclinded to go with my ego/ james bond theory - in fact i hearby patent it as the ' james bond theory'

loves - exactly - just in that instance, 2 over 12 hour marathons. A date for a third and then vanishing the day before. Fucking weird.

There are no privileged frames of reference. If I had sink breaking sex with a young enthusiastic woman I would hold onto that memory forever... but the reality is my heart would probably give out so the memory would be a short one.

I have absolutely no idea why people don't come back for more. I can only speak for myself, and the reasons are usually that I realise they were crap, or I realise I was crap.

yeah..it all adds up really, the better the sex the more it feeds his inner james bond and he's off on a mission to score...
his inner james bond just gets bigger and bigger